Ross: First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.

[after Ross comes in dressed as a SPUDnik]
Chandler: Suddenly I don't have the worst costume anymore.

Chandler: Ding dong, the psycho's gone.

[to Ross]
Chandler: You know if your not careful, you could not get married at all this year.

Joey: But I-I-I can't stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I'm supposed to be playing a 19-year-old.
[Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this]
Chandler: So when you said, "Get up early, " did you mean 1986?

Joey : Pheebs, you wanna help?
Phoebe : Oh, I wish I could, but I really don't want to.