Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.

I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.

As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.

Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing at it.

There's only one thing wrong with wife swapping. You get another wife.