She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.