Alan Coren
Related TERRY PRATCHETT WILSON MIZNER Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is nev... A WALK TO REMEMBER It was a good, solid effort by our team. In fact, both teams played well and had a solid effort. MIKE MAIER I came back today looking for a cuckoo clock and I did find that stuffed in. LANCE QUAM AIDAN CHAMBERS We expect warming to cause more precipitation to fall as rain rather than snow. And snow will also s... MICHAEL DETTINGER The saying sell all your belongings & give to the poor simply means "Redirect your mind to the verit... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) I remember having an argument with Alan, I said the Queen's not just going to call the guy up an... EDDIE CAMPBELL WALTER SCOTT SIR WALTER SCOTT Shame is an unhappy emotion invented by pietists in order to exploit the human race. BLAKE EDWARDS I do not expect all of the snow to melt before next weekend. Far from it. BRAD DOYLE GRAHAM GREENE SIMONE WEIL JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE JOHN STEINBECK We offered tours of our windows in both the sanctuary and the chapel during the tour. It gave touris... LEE WEEMS Her executive order uses the National Guard as window dressing. She wants the National Guard to be s... LEN MUNSIL You remember had this gigantic clock in the arena showing the size of the national debt. And Paul to... CHRIS VAN HOLLEN We're in good shape. The system's working everywhere it should. This is a wet storm, but there's not... JEFF MCCRACKEN ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH In six years, this was not the first time they had found themselves inJACQUELINE FRANCIS - WANTING TO REMEMBER, TRYING TO FORGET But remember that in order to symbolize everything to everyone, you will be both loved and hated. BONNIE HUIE MedAssets has a solid reputation for procuring quality products and value for its members, ... Both ... CHRISTINE JACOBS Alan was awesome! At a 7:06-per-mile pace, he's one heck of a runner on snowshoes. Alan took advanta... JOE REYNOLDS I was pleased that we've agreed to work together to deepen significantly the flows of investment, te... JAMES PETERSON DEAN KOONTZ We are the books we read and the things we love. CATH CROWLEY You should give up sarcasm. People could get the wrong idea about you. MICHAEL PRYOR I know exactly who I am, what I'm about and who I will become. EMMA PAUL It is better to grope in the dark and wade through a million errors to reach the Truth than to entru... SUDHIR KAKAR If you argue with a fool, you become a fool. L.A. HILDEN Everyday is another chance to do something great. EMMA PAUL COLETTE OSCAR WILDE I think you can tell when you meet someone whether they read novels. There's some hollowness if they... PHILIP HENSHER MEG CABOT JENNIFER NIVEN JASPER FFORDE If we are indeed nostalgic for the weight of clock time, it is worth remembering that the standardiz... STACEY D'ERASMO If we are indeed nostalgic for the weight of clock time, it is worth remembering that the standardiz... STACEY D'ERASMO Time was the most precious thing in the world to me, and I’d just given her all of it. Because I w... RACHEL VAN DYKEN SUNDAY ADELAJA It's not about worthiness, it's about willingness. R. ALAN WOODS You can only melt the snow one flake at a time RAYAN BLACK SARA SHEPARD W. BRUCE CAMERON In 1995, Lotus Notes was an alternative to the Internet, used solely within enterprises. Since the L... DANIEL ROSEN I can remember standing in a W.P.A. line with a gunny sack, and I remember having to buy chocolate m... JERRY BUSS SARAH MACLEAN Want LESS! Need LESS! Live MORE! TANYA MASSE In order for America to remain a global leader in innovation and opportunity, we must give our child... KENNY MARCHANT SANDRA BOYNTON The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m... ANDREW TO Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt... ANDREW TO Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank... ANDREW TO The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ... ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate... ANDREW TO We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ... ANDREW TO Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices. ANDREW TO I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag... ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future. ANDREW TO I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea... ANDREW TO Lots of us expected the ice would go out today. While it hasn't been very warm, all the movement cau... JANE BROWN We continue to benefit from our proven success in desktop software, led by the solid performance of ... BILL HARRIS If I had to give up cheese or chocolate, I'd give up chocolate in a heartbeat. AMANDA PEET RICHARD V. ALLEN It looks like Alan was the victim of a robbery. It seems like he was hit from behind. He doesn't rem... JIMMY VACCARO We are greatly encouraged by the success and national attention Massachusetts has earned when it dec... MICHAEL CONNELLY I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES DEJAN STOJANOVIC WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE RICHARD YATES Use your heart. Understand. Learn to see thingsE.J. PATTEN NICHOLAS SPARKS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE NICHOLAS SPARKS NICHOLAS SPARKS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE CRISS JAMI Why did you marry Dad, Mom?" MARGARET MCMULLAN A sagging economy, a soaring national debt, and an increasingly restive Congress pushed Obama to ord... RON FOURNIER The scanty supply of petroleum products by the BPC to its dealers made the products dearer. MIZANUR RAHMAN I desire to keep slavery and black people in the South in order to reserve the territories solely fo... DAVID WILMOT PABLO PICASSO both the critical eye and the loving eye must be used in order to put something into focus CHRISTOPHER MOLINEUX I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd ... JACK HANDY MARK TWAIN DALAI LAMA XIV BOB BROWN then burn.HOWARD TAYLER CASSANDRA CLARE THOMAS JEFFERSON You love another person not because of his virtues- that is infatuation- but in spite of his faults,... SUDHIR KAKAR LIBBA BRAY It became unpatriotic to drink tea around the time of the Boston Tea Party, so chocolate became a po... JIM GAY RAYMOND HOLLIWELL There will be continued risk of landslides as the snow starts to melt in the spring and even more so... JAMIE MCGOLDRICK In order to stand out in this field, a competitive company like Zebra must continually prove its abi... ERIK MICHIELSEN
More Alan Coren
ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN ALAN COREN People forget that Omar Bradley went all around World War II with a big black poodle named Beau. And... STANLEY COREN The big thing about the past is that a lot of people didn't have disposable income. Now we do. Now, ... STANLEY COREN Lots of people make resolutions to try to spend more time with their dog, to try to take them to obe... STANLEY COREN It's been going on a long time. STANLEY COREN The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without... STANLEY COREN Actually, what we really need to remember about Galileo is that most of the people who use his name ... MICHAEL COREN ...more men and women were slaughtered in a couple of weeks of the terror of the atheistic French Re... MICHAEL COREN The Church, though, has always held up a mirror in which society can see reflected some of its uglie... MICHAEL COREN They are incredibly active and have to be worked. If you don't, they become neurotic and they're sma... STANLEY COREN We do not perceive what is "out ther," rather we perceive what is "in here." Our senses can only inf... STANLEY COREN We do not perceive what is "out there," rather we perceive what is "in here." Our senses can only in... STANLEY COREN Selling is simply the transfer of inthusiasm. ALAN ALAN WATTS I think most people have that crazy uncle they sit at Thanksgiving dinner with: someone they disagre... ALAN COLMES ALAN PERLIS ALAN STERN ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT ALAN BENNETT If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny. ALAN KING ALAN TURING ALAN TURING ALAN TURING ALAN TURING ALAN TURING ALAN WALKER Hitler's dictatorship rested on the constitutional foundation of a single law, the Enabling Law. ALAN BULLOCK ALAN WATTS ALAN PERLIS ALAN KAY I'll work overtime to open the doors of opportunity to industry and commerce. ALAN AUTRY ALAN MOORE ALAN MOORE ALAN WATTS ALAN DERSHOWITZ ALAN DERSHOWITZ When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive. ALAN PATON ALAN GREENSPAN ALAN BALL Period recreation is very difficult unless you make a black-and-white movie. ALAN PARKER ALAN BALL ALAN GREENSPAN ALAN WATTS ALAN MOORE ALAN KAY If we don't re-charge the American Brand, all future challenges - economic, social and political... ALAN SIEGEL ALAN RICKMAN ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS ALAN WATTS Bureaucracies are inherently antidemocratic. Bureaucrats derive their power from their position in t... ALAN KEYES Arsenal paid a lot of money for him a few years ago but he found it difficult to claim a first-team ... ALAN CURBISHLEY It was a great night for us and a great achievement. Who knows what will happen in the next round. I... ALAN CURBISHLEY There has not really been a lot going on for Stephan, he has not had many saves to make. I want to h... ALAN CURBISHLEY There may be players wanting to leave, and obviously I have a surplus in the forward area, so this w... ALAN CURBISHLEY I like working on things that are very different and that involve different disguises. ALAN CUMMING Actually I like working kind of fast, because if you got it, why bother doing it over and over? ALAN CUMMING It's a sort of anti-Broadway musical. It's odd, disjointed and spiky. ALAN CUMMING Nowadays people don't know how to handle it if all the ends aren't tied up and they're not told what... ALAN CUMMING It's really rare for film directors to be that interested in things other than themselves. ALAN CUMMING It is not hard to feel like an outsider. I think we have all felt like that at one time or another. ALAN CUMMING When Brian went by me, I thought he was some guy that jumped on the course. ALAN CULPEPPER In Athens, I was running in long sleeves and pants in the summertime to acclimate as much as I could... ALAN CULPEPPER ALAN LIGHTMAN At this point, our office is going to prepare to go to trial again, ... We believe the jury will com... ALAN CURRY We haven't made a decision yet. I think there's several options open to us and that's something work... ALAN CURRY Andrea Yates knew precisely what she was doing, ... She knew that it was wrong. ALAN CURRY He has come here to gain experience, and nothing can happen until December anyway. I believe Gary Ne... ALAN CURBISHLEY I left some of the boys out completely to have a rest, ALAN CURBISHLEY We moved in straight away, and although he was publicly linked with other clubs, we were always conf... ALAN CURBISHLEY Danny is a player we have been tracking for some time, but he only became available last week, ALAN CURBISHLEY Claus had one year remaining on his contract and made it clear that he didn't wish to renew his deal... ALAN CURBISHLEY The player wanted to come to us and we are very pleased to welcome him. ALAN CURBISHLEY We don't believe isolated testimony on cross examination by one of our witnesses had such an impact ... ALAN CURRY We are hopeful that we can now finally place our complete focus upon going to trial. ALAN CURRY The case has already been reversed once, so we want to make sure we proceed correctly and appropriat... ALAN CURRY I would anticipate this case is going to have to be retried. ALAN CURRY It's just a matter of our blokes lifting their game. They haven't been playing to their usual standa... ALAN DAVIDSON We?re pleased with the vitality we're seeing in the UK market. Our company accounted for close to a ... ALAN CURTIS One can always hope, but I worry this will be a repeat of that experience. After the 1960 riots, the... ALAN CURTIS [Some found Bush's words reassuring. Others worried that they would not resonate far into the future... ALAN CURTIS But the major mistake is to take the census report as a one-year phenomenon. This is the fourth stra... ALAN CURTIS If anything, the numbers out of the Census Bureau underestimate the problem of poverty in America, ALAN CURTIS This is an unusual case, but the state has previously shown that the defendant knew that her conduct... ALAN CURRY It is kind-of the same issue, but they have added a couple of different elements to it, a couple of ... ALAN CURRY The case was reversed on appeal. She's gotten a new trial. She's gained the relief she's entitled to... ALAN CURRY He had a fool proof plan for not getting a job - In the event of an interview wear flip-flops. ALAN DAVIES I think a lot of people feel it would be a mistake. ALAN DAVIDSON Consumers need to be notified when and what location information is collected, ALAN DAVIDSON Consumers won't use systems they don't trust. Location services monitor movement and habits, somethi... ALAN DAVIDSON From a group that cares about civil liberties and cares about kids, this is the right answer. ALAN DAVIDSON This finding, if it's true, still doesn't change the basic argument we're having about the standards... ALAN DAVIDSON They admitted to making a huge mistake and they said they'd pay the money back, ... They showed some... ALAN DAVIDSON it was a mixed day for the Internet on Capital Hill. ALAN DAVIDSON We ought to build systems that encourage 911 location services but that are not just personal tracki... ALAN DAVIDSON I think there are huge land mines with wireless ahead. ALAN DAVIDSON It's been a long time coming. Thank God for this day. ALAN CROTZER Here I am trying to build a life and I have nothing to build it with. It's wrong, just wrong. ALAN CROTZER If you really want the truth, leave no stone unturned. ALAN CROTZER There ain't no compensation for what they done to me. But I'm not bitter. ALAN CROTZER Especially when it comes to sex offenses, history is a big predictor of the future, ALAN CROPSEY When he was in the United States Senate, he was noted as an intellectual powerhouse, ALAN CROPSEY Our rights are not given to us by society, ... My view is that our rights come from God. We start ou... ALAN CROPSEY He's a very formidable personality when it comes to Washington, D.C. ALAN CROPSEY When you have a chance to make plays and don't, you can almost be assured the final score will not f... ALAN CRAWFORD You must give Campbell credit. When we had runners in scoring position, they either made plays or th... ALAN CRAWFORD Look, we have that problem solved, because there are only three of them in the Olympics. We got 187 ... ALAN CULPEPPER The Olympic Games tends to be a little more of a coming together of all the nations, so it's differe... ALAN CULPEPPER Our sport needs spectator friendly and all the help it can get on that side. That adds to the allure... ALAN CULPEPPER There was a moment there when we were getting concerned, ALAN CULPEPPER Most countries around the world, they just don't think that way. They think, 'I'm just going to get ... ALAN CULPEPPER I feel like the bad conditions and the tough course is to my advantage, just because a lot of people... ALAN CULPEPPER Every time we tried to get going there was some factor -- weather, wind or turns. I think we all suf... ALAN CULPEPPER For Athens and Boston, I had really prepared for tough conditions, whereas here you can just prepare... ALAN CULPEPPER Basically I'm from the old school. We try to score one run an inning in any fashion. A lot of times ... ALAN CRAWFORD Our defense has been real inconsistent. We've got five weeks to fix it. Hopefully by district tourna... ALAN CRAWFORD They're nice kids to coach. They work hard. They hit their spots. They don't try to strike everybody... ALAN CRAWFORD I don't think just scaring people is enough. That worked during the freeze days to a major extent, b... ALAN CRANSTON I don't feel any need for redemption. I'm satisfied with what I did in the Senate. I don't look back... ALAN CRANSTON I don't think there's any one definition, but to do effective political work you have to have vision... ALAN CRANSTON Unless you have a sense of values that's shared by people and turns them loose to do certain things ... ALAN CRANSTON The idea of being a foreign correspondent and wandering the world and witnessing great events, havin... ALAN CRANSTON The American people are much more concerned about taxes, welfare, the deficit, crime, education, dru... ALAN CRANSTON It's important to recognize that many people working together can do things which individuals workin... ALAN CRANSTON There will always be nations. The United States will last a long, long time, I believe. France and G... ALAN CRANSTON For [customers] it means that they can shop for 'Linux applications' without having to worry about w... ALAN COX I do enjoy grinning manically at passing people while waving an axe around attempting to kill off un... ALAN COX What matters are the applications. ALAN COX I'm going to Disneyland! ALAN COX It's all right to cry. It's all right to hurt. It's all right to be confused, ... Hope will rebuild ... ALAN COX He's a great kid. ALAN COX They put over 100 million gates/transistors on a tiny piece of silicon. On that piece of silicon the... ALAN COX I figure lots of predictions is best. People will forget the ones I get wrong and marvel over the re... ALAN COX Live fast, die old, and make very sure everyone knows you were there. ALAN COX The promoter is all you need for activation and silencing. It's the main site of action where everyt... ALAN COWMAN The promoter is all you need for activation and silencing. It's the main site of action where everyt... ALAN COWMAN The promoter is all you need for activation and silencing. ALAN COWMAN This is the first time anyone has actually been able to infiltrate an antigenic variation program. W... ALAN COWMAN It's like a leopard being able to change its spots. New forms come up, and the immune system beats t... ALAN COWMAN I still believe there's someone out there for our film. ALAN COOKE If we'd made it in the conventional way, we would have lost a lot of the feeling that came from thin... ALAN COOKE We wanted to make something that spoke from the heart to the heart. ALAN COOKE From the beginning there was an element of fate about the project. ALAN COOKE It's an individual taking a journey, that's the perspective. It happened here, but it could happen a... ALAN COOKE In the 13 years I served, we never had a problem. But I feel we are going downhill. ALAN COOKE We know it's going to be a difficult challenge, we're under no illusion. ALAN COOKE It is a niche opportunity for National Savings, it won't have a big impact on us. ALAN COOK Ultimately, they still had to sell. You have to give them credit for realizing they weren't going to... ALAN COOK The problem before was that the chapter was in over its head with this building, ALAN COOK In our discussions, part of the plan is to put into writing a memorandum of understanding that the m... ALAN COOK He likes to dribble a lot, ... so I told our defenders to just stay on his back, don't let him turn.... ALAN COOK All of the paintings in the Museum Art Online collection are known to have a status of world-wide fa... ALAN COOK If what you are claiming is true, I would have shouted it from the rooftops. I would have gone to th... ALAN COLMES If what you are claiming is true, I would have shouted it from the rooftops. I would have gone to th... ALAN COLMES You know what bothers me more? Whether or not a member of the White House leaked the identity of a C... ALAN COLMES sure beats being plucked off the top of your home by a helicopter. ALAN COLMES I take personal responsibility. ALAN COLMES Also, interestingly enough, some of the things he was accused of believing ...actually were not his ... ALAN COLMES the real smear here, is against the Democrats who are held up as these evil people... Heaven forbid ... ALAN COLMES I still believe that the Democrats have it right about health care, education, the war in Iraq and, ... ALAN COLMES Genius, scholar, and war hero though he is, you have to admit - or maybe you should think about admi... ALAN COLMES
The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo. 
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. 
Things it helps me to remember
We build statues out of snow, and weep to see them melt. 
We build statues out of snow, and weep to see them melt. 
In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they... 
In Switzerland they had brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they... 
Destiny grants us our wishes, but in its own way, in order to give us something beyond our wishes. 
It would be absurd if we did not understand both angels and devils, since we invented them. 
Time determines the occurrence of possibilities and impossibilities, but God determines the time for... 
If someone invented a thermometer that measured weirdness, it would probably melt under my tongue. 
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm! 
there are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely ... 
Always be true to your friends, just as you are to yourself. 
I have this feeling, like I'm waiting for something. But I have no idea what. 
2.5.03.02.005: Generally speaking, if you fiddle with something, it will break. Don't. 
To invest your life, you must invest your time and make sure it doesn’t just melt away like Salvad... 
Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it 
About the most exciting thing a baby can do is burp - I've spent hours of my life holding a baby... 
Truth is irrelevant. What is relevant is whether or not they believe it."
As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to... 
Certainly, the Bush Administration will rely in the first instance on its friends, since it would be... 
To come to nothing through something is the way to outside from both sides. 
O that I were a mockery king of snow,
Standing before the sun of Bolingbroke
To melt myself aw... 
I still had this idea that there was a whole world of marvelous golden people somewhere, as far ahea... 
Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me. 
As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the... 
These times of woe afford no time to woo. 
Man was designed in a way in which he must eat in order to give him a solid reason to go to work eve... 
Work is a necessity for man. Man invented the alarm clock. 
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it 
Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 
The government's living in its own cloud cuckoo land and it's a cloud of greenhouse gases. 
Maxim 1: 
Every meeting led to a parting, and so it would, as long as life was mortal. In every meeting there ... 
A Decalogue of Canons for Observation in Practical Life:
The library card is a passport to wonders and miracles, glimpses into other lives, religions, experi... 
No matter what we want of life we have to give up something in order to get it. 
Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what it is you want to hear. 
The Act of God designation on all insurance policies; which means, roughly, that you cannot be ins... 
Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the cor... 
No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now. 
Fools ignore complexity. Pragmatists suffer it. Some can avoid it. Geniuses remove it. 
Even in our deep ocean, there are ecosystems at work with no light whatsoever down in the deepest po... 
Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore. 
I write plays about things that I can't resolve in my mind. I try to root things out. 
I always feel over-appreciated but underestimated. 
I have such a stressful job that the only way I can get it out of my mind is by running hard. 
I want a permanent relationship, and I might feel inclined to reject anything which of its nature co... 
Mathematical reasoning may be regarded rather schematically as the exercise of a combination of two ... 
I want to enjoy not getting recognised while it lasts. But the mask is a symbol of unity. Anyone can... 
The ego is nothing other than the focus of conscious attention. 
In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. 
People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. 
Life is a lot more interesting if you are interested in the people and the places around you. So, il... 
We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain. 
Hypocrisy is not a way of getting back to the moral high ground. Pretending you're moral, saying... 
Being offended by freedom of speech should never be regarded as a justification for violence. 
You have to really stretch your imagination to infer what the intrinsic value of Bitcoin is. I haven... 
I was conveniently bisexual for a long time, and then I went, 'Come on, who am I kidding?' A... 
I'm a Buddhist, so one of my biggest beliefs is, 'Everything changes, don't take it pers... 
Fear and euphoria are dominant forces, and fear is many multiples the size of euphoria. Bubbles go u... 
There are two worlds we live in: a material world, bound by the laws of physics, and the world insid... 
On the screen were some flashback shots of Daniel, Emma and Rupert from ten years ago. They were 12.... 
If I were not a writer, I would spend more time doing the things that I am already doing, which incl...