Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Work again? Really? Didn't I just do that yesterday?

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.