Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

You can get a hometown phone number so your relatives can dial a local number, and it's routed to your phone.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

The American people, taken one with another, constitute the most timorous, sniveling, poltroonish, ignominious mob of serfs and goose-steppers ever gathered under one flag in Christendom since the end of the middle ages