The Christian image of God is that of a rational being who believes in human progress.


Rodney Stark

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RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my di...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming ho...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professio...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wi...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that s...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife and I were happy for twenty. Then we met!
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
Please, we can get along here.
RODNEY KING
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot ...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met ...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to kn...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
If you make your robot look exactly like Albert Einstein, then the robot better be as smart as Einst...
RODNEY BROOKS
There have been some management issues with Amtrak, but I think they have cleaned up their act.
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN
I have been pleased to receive petitions from groups that seek a range of new gun control measures a...
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN
I am so excited this year getting to play the 85th Anniversary Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. E...
RODNEY ATKINS
Waking up sober is a good day. I love being able to wake up and do positive things, to go to the gym...
RODNEY KING
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mi...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went o...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he want...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
Whatever solutions there are for flood control need to be bipartisan.
RODNEY FRELINGHUYSEN
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man...
RODNEY DANGERFIELD
In the future, I'm sure there will be a lot more robots in every aspect of life. If you told peo...
RODNEY BROOKS