The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Bill Maher
Related The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence brief... BILL MAHER Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON I've met Bill Clinton, Obama a couple of times... I certainly didn't meet George Bush, and w... DAVID CROSBY Bill Clinton beat Bush's father, President George H.W. Bush, for the White House in 1992 by focu... NIGEL HAMILTON The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just ... DAVID LETTERMAN It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill JUDE WATSON Three publishers came to me at the White House after George lost and said, 'We would like to pub... BARBARA BUSH Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who could... JAY LENO It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea. JUDE WATSON I've met a handful of presidents, from Jimmy Carter to Bill Clinton to George Bush to Barack Oba... JIMMIE JOHNSON Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill ROLAND SMITH Clinton's successor in the White House, George W. Bush, was committed to expanding government sp... TONY CAMPOLO I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ... MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX I met Gerald Ford. I met Richard Nixon. I met Jimmy Carter. I met Dwight Eisenhower when he was a ge... PETE ROSE 'USA Today' once did a big article called, 'Who said it? Was it Norm or George Bush?'... NORM CROSBY I don't believe any color in particular can bring good luck. I think it's just a coincidence... KAJAL AGGARWAL Before competition, I start to question things. I don't know why it happens, but you've got ... ADAM PEATY I'm somewhat horrified because I don't think the young people today even know what history i... JOAN SUTHERLAND I still think in this country, and this might surprise you, the one thing that George Bush said as p... TAVIS SMILEY I came home from school one day, and there was a phone call for me. And I picked up the phone. They ... BEN BERNANKE All I know is that once you have children, you put them before anything you're feeling or going ... JEREMY SISTO That's not how national security works... I don't care what the Supreme Court said 30 years ... MARK LEVIN I was one of the hardest-hitting conservatives on George W. Bush. Republicans didn't like me on ... GLENN BECK My favorite color is jungle green. At least, that's what it said on the side of my favorite cray... MIKE POSNER We have been through a period where we see power leaching away from Washington. Who is more importan... PETER JENNINGS I asked the man on the phone from the National Endowment for the Arts what this fellowship entailed,... JOHNNY GIMBLE My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, ... CHARLES BARKLEY I'm not comparing Bush to Adolf Hitler - because George Bush, for one thing, is not as smart as ... DAVID CLENNON When 'Men's Health' reached out and said, 'Will you be on the 'Today Show' a... AARON SCHOCK I did the voice of Cyclops on 'Shrek the Third'. I don't know how I got that. They said ... MARK VALLEY Today is the first of August. It is hot, steamy and wet. It is raining. I am tempted to write a poem... SYLVIA PLATH If I lie, I forget what I said the first time. I won't remember the lie. I don't know how pe... ZACK GREINKE I've never been pushy. People have said I should have been, more, but I'm not sure. I've... JOHN HURT About f-f-ace!" she said to the horse, flailing with her boots. "Into the barn, please. It's time fo... PETER LERANGIS You see?" Damien leaned over his desk and spread out half a dozen charcoal sketches. "These are only... RICK RIORDAN I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have been found i... HOWARD STERN I don't really care what other people see me as. I seriously don't. I've always worried ... KAJOL When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?' ROBIN WILLIAMS I vividly remember my first day on the White House staff. My office, of course, was in the Old Execu... JOHN ROBERTS I've always been asked, 'What is my favorite car?' and I've always said 'The nex... CARROLL SHELBY I remember talking with a friend. He asked me a question. He said, 'What's your end game? Wh... KI HONG LEE The one thing I'm convinced George W. Bush is good at is bipartisanship. It's clearly someth... TUCKER CARLSON George Bush, Dick Cheney, every one of the speakers praised John Kerry's war record. No one said... PETER T. KING President Obama made the right choice, over one million Americans are still working today. The Ameri... RAHM EMANUEL Bush is a frat boy in the White House but we've had that before. But I wasn't one of those p... HARRY SHEARER When you ask your white friends what their cultural heritage is, they don't just say white. They... HARI KONDABOLU I have rooms full of little dongly things and don't want any more. Half the little dongly things... DOUGLAS ADAMS Don't think your dreams don't come true, because they do. You'd better be careful what y... BARBARA BILLINGSLEY When I auditioned for 'Bye Bye Birdie' on Broadway, Gower Champion said, 'You've got... DICK VAN DYKE I had to do the full body shave for the first coupla weeks of 'White Chicks,' then I said, &... MARLON WAYANS They've got this house style which is writer driven. I heard of one person who sent his script i... EDDIE CAMPBELL I think to this day, 'Superman/Wonder Woman' is probably one of the trickiest things I'v... CHARLES SOULE I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos. JIMMY FALLON What's new is that the White House itself has now been corporatized. It's not politicians wo... JIM HIGHTOWER I can't believe George Bush might be president. BRADLEY WHITFORD I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor wi... EMO PHILIPS I don't know how one actually would define obscenity. I'm sure the definition is different a... JANE ALEXANDER Everyone today is like, 'Shailene, you're getting so much buzz. How does the feel?' It... SHAILENE WOODLEY Today, I'd like to talk to Bob Marley. I'd just like to ask him what was his method. Bob is ... BRUNO MARS I started on the clarinet. I was going to a music school - my mother took me - and the guy said, ... CHRISTOPHER GUEST The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm wa... MICK RALPHS Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwar... TIM VINE I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the exp... GORDON STRACHAN When I saw 'Legally Blonde' on Broadway, I rang my agent and said 'I want to be seen for... SHERIDAN SMITH I've had a little bad, bad media luck the new year. Well, apparently I'm dating Bill Clinton... JULIE BOWEN When you've got somebody who's a flaming liberal like Bill Maher calling you out, something&... DAVE MUSTAINE And I asked my mother about it; I said, 'Is there something wrong?' She said, 'God... Go... RICHARD DAWSON Right before the Bush inauguration, many women were greatly reassured when Laura said of Roe v. Wade... MOLLY IVINS I think I remember from the offset I said, 'I've visited this territory. This isn't for ... JARED LETO You know, no one steered people's careers in those days, I don't think, like they do today. WANDA JACKSON That is why one day I said my game will be like the Pythagorean Theorem - hard to figure out. A lot ... SHAQUILLE O'NEAL We've had Town Hall meetings, we've witnessed election after election, in which the American... ERIC CANTOR There is but one man to whom I am willing to entrust their future and that man's name is George ... ZELL MILLER It's good that the first half of the speech emphasized freedom, because George W. Bush has been ... ERNEST ISTOOK One school invited me down, as two pupils had come out, and the headmaster didn't know what to d... IAN MCKELLEN When I joined Bill Clinton's start-up presidential campaign in 1991, I was confident that women ... DEE DEE MYERS Laura Bush has the face of my mother when my mother was young. The face, the body, the voice. The fi... ORIANA FALLACI I don't think anybody should be expanding Medicaid. I think it's a mistake to create new and... BOBBY JINDAL I really loved Twin Peaks. When I saw the two-hour pilot, they screened it in the big theatre. I sai... SHERILYN FENN Cooking today is a young man's game, I don't give a bollocks what anyone says. GORDON RAMSAY This one fellow I met at the gym. I went out to dinner with him and he said, 'I've been watc... BETH BRODERICK When you don't have one that you throw for strikes - they are good hitters - they can cancel out... DREW POMERANZ I hate to make this point too often, but imagine for a moment George W. Bush were on his sixth vacat... WILLIE GEIST I've got a few ideas," (Amy) admitted. "But I don't know where we're going in the long term. I mean ... RICK RIORDAN I don't know how many bestsellers I've got, or half the awards I've won, and I don't... R. A. SALVATORE In 2002, a year after 9-11, as a Congressman, I was banned from the White House by Karl Rove because... TOM TANCREDO I said, 'Okay, it's the year 2000, I'm getting a computer and a Palm Pilot.' I know ... MARC JACOBS I don't know how to depict intelligence. DAVID FINCHER Things rust, you know, like the heart. My cardiologist said, 'It's a pump; use it - that'... PETER SHAFFER I don't know what they're thinking about. Just because someone says, 'I like what you do... ORNETTE COLEMAN Look, I'm a member of the House of Lords and I'm the first to admit that I don't underst... ALAN SUGAR I've always said fashion is like roast chicken: You don't have to think about it to know it&... ALBER ELBAZ If the house is on fire, and the fireman shows up, you don't question his color or credentials. ... BERT LANCE America's veterans and troops serving abroad today fought hard to preserve our red, white and bl... BILL SHUSTER I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They adv... ADAM CAROLLA Now, I've got to tell you: 'In Our Mothers House,' I don't think is for a kindergart... PATRICIA POLACCO Like many Americans, I've always been intrigued by Bill Clinton. I obviously didn't always a... DICK CHENEY The ideas I'm working with are ideas I'm committed to. I don't know how to soft-shoe the... CARRIE MAE WEEMS If I'm listening to country, it's Hank Williams, George Jones, Merle Haggard and stuff like ... BUZZ OSBORNE
More Bill Maher
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CHRIS MAHER It's a savage profit warning for the UK, with numbers for 2006/07 likely to shift materially below c... CHRISTIAN MAHER The outlook is worse than we had hoped. CHRISTIAN MAHER The move (to sell) is not illogical given the lack of control, but it is slightly at odds with the c... CHRISTIAN MAHER It's a savage profit warning for the UK. CHRISTIAN MAHER Hopefully, that will give our players a little bit of incentive to prove to their fans, their friend... KIM MAHER But I felt the moral obligation to help prevent what happened to me from happening to our people. MAHER ARAR They are doing this to people and it is wrong, wrong, wrong. This is an evil practice, and I want th... MAHER ARAR He always wants to come with me. He insists, and he cries if I can't take him. He's afraid that if I... MAHER ARAR I still have the nightmares. I see the same person who tortured me in my dreams. 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