The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.