The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.

We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking . . . that this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whiskey. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything. . . .

Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Well, her face was so wrinkled it looked like seven miles of bad road. She had so many gold teeth . . . she used to have to sleep with her head in a safe.