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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.


George Carlin

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I loved George Carlin and Dean Martin. I was one of those kids who had every comedy album.
STEPHEN COLBERT I listened to George Carlin when I was a kid and knew every word of his routines.
SEAN HAYES Brad had a real nice night at the free-throw line.
BILL PROCHNOW I've always thought George Carlin was brilliant.
VICKI LAWRENCE I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin.
STEVE BUSCEMI I thought we had a real nice meet. We had some good swims. Now it's time to look forward to Monday n...
JASON HUBER I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's al...
DREW CAREY The seven words George Carlin said you couldn’t say on TV or radio (“fuck,” “piss,” “shi...
MARY NORRIS I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give ...
GEORGE CARLIN At lunchtime, our kitchen was like a mini restaurant: my grandmother and mother had to cook for as m...
JEAN-GEORGES VONGERICHTEN We sit down with the kids every single night, not that I want to every night - sometimes I'd rat...
DEBI MAZAR And George Carlin was a guy that the more he aged the younger he seemed.
KEVIN SMITH [She has a somewhat clandestine method of changing her own attitudes.] I'm a belly dancer! It's my o...
MARGARET CHO George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular com...
DREW CAREY Every day I think, 'Gosh, I wish I could be like George Carlin, Bill Maher: I want that edge....
TOM SMOTHERS It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech an...
RON WHITE I’ve often wondered, since I was the moron that Billy Hicks and George Carlin were talking about, ...
BOBBY W. MILLER When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all ...
MARC MARON The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freew...
BOB MOOREHEAD You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do......
GEORGE CARLIN Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.
GERMAINE DE STAëL I wanted to be a skinny little ballerina but I was a voluptuous little Italian girl whose dad had me...
LADY GAGA Our catcher, Wade Spurlock, had a good night at the plate. Austin Sharp and Jonathan Wray stepped up...
DANNY CARLISLE I loved George Carlin... I used to sit in front of the TV and watch the HBO comedy specials. I loved...
MICK FOLEY You look at Richard Pryor and Robert Klein and George Carlin and Richard Lewis - those guys were so ...
ARI GRAYNOR I noticed Laura (the restaurant owner) had a little bucket on the table. For like a week, I was just...
SUZANNE MILLER My husband is Dutch, and his family, when you sat down to eat food at the table, you never left the ...
ANN VOSKAMP I never had an official job, but I did play at a local cantina every Tuesday night, and I babysat a ...
MICHELLE BRANCH Some of the most important conversations I've ever had occurred at my family's dinner table.
BOB EHRLICH I'm from a very close-knit family, and there was something very... I guess you could say normal,...
RACHEL MCADAMS Luigi, the restaurant manager, said to me once that he keeps that particular table for the Queen of ...
EGON RONAY I could tell real fast it wasn't going to be an argument. He pulls out a pipe and starts clobbering ...
JEFF MARTIN We're a very close family and we're a very real family, and I think every real family has re...
EMILIO ESTEVEZ I don't know of any Sox fans other than my family. (Sons) John and Danny call me every night to make...
DAN SHERMAN My family, they're story tellers. My mom is Irish, and my dad is Italian. In my family, we weren...
MEG CABOT I spent a long night sitting at the breakfast table, drinking Jack Daniels.
ZACK STALBERG The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite direct...
GEORGE CARLIN Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches...
ROGER J. CORLESS I really enjoyed the night game. We had a nice crowd.
GARY COLLINS In a restaurant choose a table near a waiter
JEWISH PROVERB It might be a really nice-looking restaurant, but if it's sitting empty on a Saturday night, that's ...
JULIAN SMITH I thought McGee did a really nice job at the defensive end. Our big people had good energy all night...
JOE KUHN I don't like your tone," was Violet's standard answer when one of her children was winning an argume...
JULIA QUINN This is what a family is all about - one another, sitting around the table at night. And it's ve...
JACQUES PEPIN Back in the old days, when I was a child, we sat around the family table at dinner time and exchange...
BOB KEESHAN Be nice to his family. Pretend not to notice the way their house smells. Pretend to like their food....
LAURA YES YES I'm kind of fascinated by Paula Deen. I've been to her restaurant, The Lady and Sons, in Sav...
PARVESH CHEENA Logical reasoning is an argument which we have with ourselves and which reproduces internally the fe...
JEAN PIAGET I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti
THOMAS HARRIS They ate it up. The guys told me they just loved George.
JAY PROOPS We had tables and plate racks from the restaurant so we've got an assembly line going here.
DEE ROGEVICH If we're going to get to a point of closing a school, I want to rest easy at night knowing that we h...
FRANK PUGH She ate--so, so good--cocooned in the harmonic dissonance of a large family, where every sound was d...
RACHEL HAUCK There's a restaurant I go to whenever I can called The Richmond Cafe. It's a little Thai res...
FIONN WHITEHEAD There was conversation and discussion at the table, a lot of it heated. He had a strong belief that ...
ANNE SWEENEY I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he di...
STEVEN WRIGHT Food is about communal togetherness. Our family does sit at the table. I think it's a great trag...
JONATHAN DIMBLEBY There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
GEORGE CARLIN It is halfway true that if you are involved in a family coffeehouse you don't have a life.
ROBIN MCKINLEY What a nice night for an evening.
STEVEN WRIGHT Every argument for Negro suffrage is an argument for women's suffrage.
W. E. B. DU BOIS At times we've had lapses. You're not going to be able to do it every game, night after night. But f...
ELGIN BAYLOR My family... always had the value of the family table and these cultural influences of growing up.
EMERIL LAGASSE I'd like to have the first restaurant that can deliver incredible quality food to your table at ...
PAUL PRUDHOMME I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because...
MITCH HEDBERG I'm from a Cuban family, so we're used to talking really loud. You come to a Cuban restauran...
KAT DAHLIA We are a family oriented restaurant.
BOB MURPHY If I had my way we'd sleep every night all wrapped around each other like hibernating rattlesnakes.
WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS You wouldn't have the same art on the walls at every restaurant or the same waiter uniforms. Nei...
DANNY MEYER I knew a few people from Barry when I was at college. They had a lot of real nice things to say abou...
BRAD PAGE It's very family-oriented. People bring their kids and families, and it's a nice night out.
ERNIE SHAFER In a family argument, if it turns out you are right -- apologize at once!
LAZARUS LONG Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.
RICHARD WHATELY Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument
RICHARD WHATELY It's going to be real nice. We are going to serve breakfast in the mornings and burgers at lunch.
LAURA ANDERSON He had taken George, my beloved George, from me. And he had taken my other self: Anne.
PHILIPPA GREGORY He seemed like a nice guy, a family guy ... real quick-witted, personable and easygoing.
ADAM TIMMERMAN They can manipulate their figures to boost their argument at the bargaining table. The way Ward is a...
BEN VISNICK I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for...
GEORGE LOPEZ My earliest memory is making peach cobbler with my grandmother. A wonderful memory. I grew up in a r...
RICK BAYLESS I started at 5 years old in the kitchen table with my family supporting me. I know where I'm fro...
CELINE DION We're more of a family style restaurant.
ADRIAN MIRANDA Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
TOMMY COOPER A family sitting at the dinner table, leads to their hearts filled with contentment.
FRANCESCO NICHOLAS CECE It was really interesting to see that the monkeys who ate most of their food at night were no more l...
ELINOR SULLIVAN I was here when the Bears won, I know how big they were. Every player had his own restaurant.
GREG WALKER I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where you're going to spend good money - a...
HARLAND WILLIAMS George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking somethin...
BILL COSBY We don't know what to eat and not to eat. We all ate the same stuff last night and Christine had a r...
AMY NIXON I was about 7 and my family was eating at a restaurant when we saw my first Elvis impersonator by to...
DRAKE MILLIGAN The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to...
FRAN LEBOWITZ They got a good hockey team over there and they battle hard every night. It's nice to get an extra p...
DEREK ARMSTRONG He had a tough night the other night against Hidden Valley. He didn't move real well without the bal...
GRANT SMYTHERS Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curr...
PETER USTINOV George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, mo...
DENIS LEARY The argument is at an end.
SAINT AUGUSTINE If we wanted an environment where there was ownership at the restaurant level, we had to create it o...
CHRIS SULLIVAN Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
TOMMY COOPER Like every other place, I guess, Kansas City was quite a different city when I was a youngster there...
BEN WEBSTER You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.
RICKY GERVAIS

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GEORGE CARLIN The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
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GEORGE CARLIN I'm completely in favor of the
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GEORGE CARLIN If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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GEORGE CARLIN The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
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GEORGE CARLIN We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the be...
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GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
GEORGE CARLIN Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
GEORGE CARLIN There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're hav...
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GEORGE CARLIN Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year t...
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GEORGE CARLIN Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
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GEORGE CARLIN Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to t...
GEORGE CARLIN Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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GEORGE CARLIN I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Ky...
GEORGE CARLIN The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
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For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the...
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GEORGE CARLIN Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN Everyone smiles in the same language.
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GEORGE CARLIN My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm ...
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GEORGE CARLIN Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
GEORGE CARLIN As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
GEORGE CARLIN The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, GEORGE CARLIN I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to...
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GEORGE CARLIN If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him
GEORGE CARLIN In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section
GEORGE CARLIN If it requires a uniform it's a worthless endeavor
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GEORGE CARLIN The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of you...
GEORGE CARLIN Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN we get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
GEORGE CARLIN When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a ...
GEORGE CARLIN You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar
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GEORGE CARLIN If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem
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GEORGE CARLIN Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach t...
GEORGE CARLIN Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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GEORGE CARLIN So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.
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GEORGE CARLIN I have no emotional stake in Panda fucking.
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GEORGE CARLIN If you’re reading it in a book, folks, it ain’t self-help. It’s help.
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GEORGE CARLIN Everything beeps now
GEORGE CARLIN You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic
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GEORGE CARLIN One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.
GEORGE CARLIN “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
GEORGE CARLIN If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categ...
GEORGE CARLIN Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
GEORGE CARLIN