The powers of a man's mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.
"It's three thirty in the morning."
"Okay. Want coffee?

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!