The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE F. BURNS Sincerity: if you can fake it, you've got it made.
DANIEL SCHORR The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE F. BURNS The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
JEAN GIRAUDOUX The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
JEAN GIRAUDOUX Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS Sincerity: if you can fake it, you've got it made.
DANIEL SCHORR I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
RICHARD JENI Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER Integrity is crucial for business success - once you can fake that, you've got it made.
HENRY FORD Any time you're dealing with an ankle, you've got to run, you've got to cut, you've ...
CALVIN JOHNSON I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN In our lives in a lot of ways it's all about fake. You've got people wanting things for fake...
BILLY CORGAN Integrity is the recognition of the fact that you cannot fake your consciousness, just as honesty is...
AYN RAND Nothing fails like success. •Gerald Nachman We must believe in luck. For how else can we expl...
GERALD NACHMAN When you're dealing with monkeys, you've got to expect some wrenches.
ALVAH BESSIE The syntactical nature of reality, the real secret of magic, is that the world is made of words. And...
TERENCE MCKENNA The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN Life is a rotten lottery. I've had a pretty amazing life, a good life, and God knows I'm tha...
JOHN WATERS If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS You've got to live your life, you've got to enjoy it.
DANIEL CRAIG I think love can be really tough. Because it involves ultimately an honesty to the nth degree that y...
JOHN HURT When you've dealt with real-life issues, dealing with business issues is not that hard.
RAM SHRIRAM If someone tried to deprive you of your rights, you've got to resist it. You've got to resen...
A. PHILIP RANDOLPH When you're taking the country through difficult times and difficult decisions you've got to...
DAVID CAMERON Life is short and you've got to get the most out of it.
GWEN STEFANI When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE I'd always heard stories about how Harpo Marx was the most talkative of the Marx brothers. I fou...
HARMONY KORINE The minute you think you've got it made, disaster is just around the corner.
JOE PATERNO If you're an impressionistic painter and you want to paint expressionism, you've got to chan...
TOBIN BELL I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.
CHARLES M. SCHULZ I've learnt that your life is more interesting and fulfilling when you don't lead it in a st...
NICK DAVIES Anything looks good if you've got the body of a Victoria's Secret model and the porelessly s...
KATE REARDON You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.
MATT GROENING My mom is very Southern and she in real life says things like, 'If you've got it, flaunt it....
CHERYL HINES If you can make yourself symmetrical, you're sending out a sign that you've got good genes, ...
MARCUS DU SAUTOY Everyone knows that life isn't fair. Saying it's not fair suggests that you think life is su...
TRAVIS BRADBERRY Dear Anonymous, I've got a secret
I know you can keep it
because you don't really exist....
KRISTEN HENDERSON I've got to say, I've probably seen a lot more of the Three Stooges than of the Marx Brother...
SPIKE JONZE We've got to be fair. You can't say a place that has strip joints is sacred ground. We'v...
FEISAL ABDUL RAUF I don't think that you can fake warmth. You can fake lust, jealousy, anger; those are all quite ...
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if...
JOHNNY VEGAS One of the great lessons I've learned in athletics is that you've got to discipline your lif...
BOB RICHARDS My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've...
LEE IACOCCA You think life is a beautiful thing, and you've got to live accordingly. You've got to magni...
JON ANDERSON With the price of life these days, you've got to get everything for free you can.
CARL ROGERS The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure u...
TONY ROBBINS The secret of it is to read what you've got in front of you. Don't, if you suspect that some...
HUMPHREY LYTTELTON If there is an essence to this wordly life, then it is the basis of honesty [morality]. If you have ...
DADA BHAGWAN At the end of the day, if you've got the great idea, and someone judges you've got the manag...
JOHN CAUDWELL You have got to act on instinct; you've got to ride from your heart and let that performer come ...
CAROLINE BUCHANAN Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW I'm a meathead. I can't help it, man. You've got smart people and you've got dumb pe...
KEANU REEVES The main thing in acting is honesty, to feel the humanity and get to the essence of the character. Y...
GENEVIEVE BUJOLD I love improvisation. You can't blame it on the writers. You can't blame it on direction. Yo...
JONATHAN WINTERS A lot of life is dealing with your curse, dealing with the cards you were given that aren't so n...
WES CRAVEN I'm vain enough to think that I've made a successful life. I've had everything I've ...
JACK GILBERT With fame, you can't trust everybody. You can't depend on them being there for you as a pers...
CHRIS BROWN I've developed a theory that there's an inverse relationship between money and imagination. ...
ALAN MOORE 'Thank you power' is writing down the moments that are good in your life so that you can go ...
DEBORAH NORVILLE People find themselves in ruts all the time. You're in a complacent lifestyle where you work 9 t...
JEREMY RENNER Writing is making sense of life. You work your whole life and perhaps you've made sense of one s...
NADINE GORDIMER Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to...
MEL BROOKS One thing that you can't fake is chemistry.
BLAKE SHELTON The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you'...
OPRAH WINFREY Anyone can rap if you've got brains. So I just went with it.
YOUNG THUG You've got the sun, you've got the moon, and you've got the Rolling Stones.
KEITH RICHARDS The film is made in the editing room. The shooting of the film is about shopping, almost. It's l...
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU If you can do it, why you won't do it???
If you have chance why you won't use it?
DEYTH BANGER It doesn't matter if you're winning or losing. You've got to be the same guy; you've...
CARSON WENTZ We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and...
JOHN LENNON In life, you're going to have a lot of problems. Everybody's got problems. Some is worse tha...
TOM BENSON If you haven't got it. Fake it! Too short? Wear big high heels, but do practice walking!
VICTORIA BECKHAM This is a do-it-yourself test for paranoia: you know you've got it when you can't think of a...
ROBERT M. HUTCHINS We learned about honesty and integrity - that the truth matters... that you don't take shortcuts...
MICHELLE OBAMA One of the big things that if you've got a guy who is doing things that other people could view ...
DYLAN BAKER If you're thinking of coming to America, this is what it's like: you've got your Comfort...
JEREMY CLARKSON If you want to be right-sized in body, you've got to get rid of the supersize way of life.
BOB HARPER For a highly motivated learner, it's not like knowledge is secret and somehow the Internet made ...
BILL GATES One of the ideas that was developed at MIT in a workshop was, imagine this pipe, and you've got ...
CARLO RATTI A franchise is dictated on the success of doing one film right, so if you can get it done correctly,...
JASON STATHAM If you feel like you've got a concussion, if you don't know, if you take the test whatever, ...
CALVIN JOHNSON As you get older, your metabolism slows down. You've got to admit it. It's nothing to be ash...
ROD STEWART You've got to have baddies that you can boo.
RICHARD C. ARMITAGE It's kind of like a college degree... when you get one, no one can take it from you. When you ge...
LUKE BRYAN
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX