The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad--but whiskey!

Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places

Adam was the author of sin, and I wish he had taken out an international copyright on it.

... sentiments which Feliks had already come to recognise as being characteristic of The Times, which would have described the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as strong rulers who could do nothing but good for the stability of the international situation.

Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.