Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.

The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad--but whiskey!

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke to excess; second, don't drink to excess; third, don't marry to excess.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places

If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go