The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

To me, comedy is a game.

Somewhere in the world Alan McGee is having a heart attack. He said we'd never make it.

Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'