There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.

Some people's idea of [free speech] is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.

The substance of the eminent Socialist gentleman's speech is that making a profit is a sin, but it is my belief that the real sin is taking a loss

There is nothing so exhilarating as to be shot at and missed.

[Critics of the reforms are unlikely to be assuaged, and they will raise many of their concerns again when the reform bill returns to the Commons in October before heading to the Lords. Its architects might do well to reflect on another quote, from one of Woodrow Wilson's contemporaries.] There's nothing wrong with change, ... if it's in the right direction.

Haven't you learned yet that I put something more than whisky into my speeches.