There is no humor in heaven.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!

If I cannot smoke cigars in Heaven, I shall not go

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.