There seemed to be some correlation between devotion to God and a misguided zeal for marshmallows.
David Sedaris
Related
It seemed there was always a close correlation between true believers and high body counts.
DAN BROWN You're the man now,' she said to me after my father died, 'you're the man.' Then she turned to Popey...
DAVID SEDARIS I started out as a writer. Poetry and prose and also kind of satirical David Sedaris-esque stuff.
PAULEY PERRETTE Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi...
MARIANA FULGER There is a great correlation between music and images.
GRAHAM NASH When we got feedback from other airports about how well their lots were working, there seemed to be ...
BOB PARKER I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who ...
NEIL GAIMAN A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung...
PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
YAKOV SMIRNOFF There's a direct correlation between faith in the righteousness of Christ and zeal in the cause of C...
JERRY BRIDGES There is no correlation between a childhood success and a professional athlete.
CARL LEWIS There thus appears to be an inverse correlation between recovery and psychotherapy; the more psychot...
HANS EYSENCK There seems to be a direct correlation between the spike in suicides by young people and the increas...
GERMANY KENT To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE The correlation between poverty and obesity can be traced to agricultural policies and subsidies.
MICHAEL POLLAN There is either where we've been or where we hope to go, here is where we are, take a moment to give...
DENNIS BARTON My reasoning was okay but I was misguided in not talking to David
JENSEN BUTTON It is one thing to have a ZEAL for God and another thing to have a SEAL from God
GEORGE IFEANYI He's for you and wants to help you be the person He created you to be.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Yes! Very funny this terrible thing is. A man that is born falls into a dream like a man who falls i...
JOSEPH CONRAD We have seen a definite correlation between illegal activities of all sorts. Between criminal code a...
TOM HARP To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
JEAN-LUC GODARD There is no relationship between brain size and intelligence. There is however a strong correlation ...
ANDRE THE BFG Livvy noted there seemed some communal feeling between the married: any wife could be faintly rude t...
ELIZABETH BOWEN The sad heart needs work to do.
JOAN BAUER Most powerful of all powers in its holy insinuation is _being_. _To be_ is more powerful than even _...
GEORGE MACDONALD God seemed to have become a brand, a packaging, and people purchase this trusted brand with such fai...
JUSTIN VILLANUEVA To be rich simply means,to be able to meet people's need.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) when your heart touched mine,I knew then we were one.
THERESA M WILSON To be rich simply means to be beneficial to others.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) More than any woman I ever knew, she comforted.' -Mrs. Huxley about Emma
DEBORAH HEILIGMAN That's silly,' said Martha. 'Friends should always tell each other the truth.
JAMES MARSHALL Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women...
JOSEPH B. WIRTHLIN In this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women ...
JEFFREY R. HOLLAND And we learned that you don't have to be famous or rich or physically healthy to be a leader. You ju...
JOAN BAUER There is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today, and to live most fully today, we ...
THOMAS S. MONSON Beauty—real everlasting beauty—lives not on our faces, but in our attitude and our actions. It l...
JUSTINA CHEN Experience has shown me that standing by oneself reading from one's book isn't especially co...
GAYLE FORMAN There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of thing...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA It is well to believe that there needs but a little more thought, a little more courage, more love, ...
MAURICE MAETERLINCK If God give you strength and courage, don't use it to intimidate people or overpower them, rather us...
ANTHONY LICCIONE There is a correlation between top-scoring laws and the quality of the charter environment in that s...
JEANNE ALLEN How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ...
FEREIDOON YAZDI Be nice to people... maybe it'll be unappreciated, unreciprocated, or ignored, but spread the love a...
GERMANY KENT There is a direct correlation between the companies that are known for good service and service trai...
NANCY FRIEDMAN The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m...
ANDREW TO Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt...
ANDREW TO Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank...
ANDREW TO The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ...
ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
ANDREW TO We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices.
ANDREW TO I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag...
ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea...
ANDREW TO In going from sports to business, you can bring some of the same principles. There's a lot of correl...
JAMES WORTHY A Ritual to Read to Each Other
If you don’t know the kind of person I am
and...
WILLIAM STAFFORD There is a direct correlation between the number of people employed at the paper mill and our income...
MATT ALLEN In the name of freedom, there has to be a correlation between rights and duties, by which every pers...
POPE BENEDICT XVI This is wonderful because there is math correlation, science correlation and history correlation.
AMY JOHNSON Remember that yours is not the only heart that may be wishing for love.
CAMERON DOKEY So lonely 'twas that God himself Scarce seemed there to be.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE So lonely 'twas that God himself
Scarce seemed there to be.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE There’s a direct correlation between credit score and how you score.
PETER PADILLA Everyone who I called my friends, persons who I used to hang out with, these were the individuals wh...
DREXEL DEAL Studies have indicated there is a strong correlation between the shortages of nurses and morbidity a...
LOIS CAPPS I may not be the kind of person you want me to, but I will always be there for you.
ALFUSAINEY JALLOW To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be.
GOLDA MEIR To be mad is worse than not to be if this is what it is.
JOHNNY RICH Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy
"To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to re...
HENRY N. BEARD Meant to be" allows for lazy. The idea of destiny alleviates anxiety; it comforts us. We stop believ...
STEPHANIE KLEIN To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
TOM ROBBINS Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I am not commanding you, but I ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me.
NICHOLAS SPARKS As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the...
NICHOLAS SPARKS You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on...
HARPER LEE You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them.
HARPER LEE There's a very strong correlation between those data sets,
GLENN JONES When people begin to define the things that they believe in, based upon the exclusion of all the thi...
C. JOYBELL C. These data show a very nice correlation between temperature and body size.
KAUSTUV ROY How to be a Poet (to remind myself)
Make a place to sit down.
Sit down. Be quiet. <...
WENDELL BERRY if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI Whether you say that a god does exist, or that none do, it is a claim
to know (or at least believe i...
LEWIS N. ROE How to be wealthy;Birth an idea & then take it to the market place & believe that the market place w...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) It's a sheer and an utter nonsense to even think or imagine that a person can gain and retain people...
ANUJ SOMANY How to be perfect;Think nothing,say nothing & do nothing.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) How to be Great;The moment you realize & accept the ordinary fact that those doing great things toda...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) How to be great;Think of a gigantic & unheard of idea to birth & nurture & inside it lies your great...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Stay true to yourself.Take everyday challenge in your stride & strive to make journey of life exactl...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Be true to yourself.Give wings of confidence & courage to your endeavour. Your strength is reflected...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Like the vital rudder of a ship, we have been provided a way to determine the direction we travel. T...
THOMAS S. MONSON Be true to yourself.Let your belief & thoughts for right cause are not compromised at any cost thoug...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're meant to be together.
MICHAELA D. If you can put your mind to it anything can be achieved but to pull something out of nothing althoug...
GARY F EVANS... There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the p...
EPICTETUS We must be more and more to each other, my dear wife.' -Charles Darwin to wife Emma upon loss of dau...
DEBORAH HEILIGMAN I wish you knew how I value you; and what an inexpressible blessing it is to have one whom one can a...
DEBORAH HEILIGMAN For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not
according to knowledge.
BIBLE
More David Sedaris
If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve.
DAVID SEDARIS I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.
DAVID SEDARIS I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people sa...
DAVID SEDARIS If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
DAVID SEDARIS Einstein wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result....
DAVID SEDARIS Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at."
DAVID SEDARIS We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of phys...
DAVID SEDARIS Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.
DAVID SEDARIS Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
DAVID SEDARIS Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading th...
DAVID SEDARIS Kools and Newports were for black people and lower-class whites. Camels were for procrastinators, th...
DAVID SEDARIS I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's...
DAVID SEDARIS The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing ...
DAVID SEDARIS The word phobic has its place when properly used, but lately it's been declawed by the pompous insis...
DAVID SEDARIS In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New Yor...
DAVID SEDARIS People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than ...
DAVID SEDARIS Mr. Mancini had a singular talent for making me uncomfortable. He forced me to consider things I’d...
DAVID SEDARIS Say what you will about the south, but in North Carolina a hot dog is free to swing anyway it wishes...
DAVID SEDARIS For as long as I can remember, my father saved. He saves money, he saves disfigured sticks that rese...
DAVID SEDARIS I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.
DAVID SEDARIS but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.
DAVID SEDARIS Potential boyfriends could not smoke Merit cigarettes, own or wear a pair of cowboy boots, or eat an...
DAVID SEDARIS It's a common mistake for vacationing Americans to assume that everyone around them is French and th...
DAVID SEDARIS I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an ...
DAVID SEDARIS If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt? I accepte...
DAVID SEDARIS What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyo...
DAVID SEDARIS In order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a figure in a daytime drama, a schem...
DAVID SEDARIS Amy adored both the new look and the new person it allowed her to be. Following the photo shoot, she...
DAVID SEDARIS The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.
DAVID SEDARIS The italian nanny was attempting to answer the teachers latest question when the moroccan student in...
DAVID SEDARIS I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an ...
DAVID SEDARIS At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loade...
DAVID SEDARIS On my fifth trip to France I limited myself to the words and phrases that people actually use. From ...
DAVID SEDARIS When asked "What do we need to learn this for?" any high-school teacher can confidently answer that,...
DAVID SEDARIS I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I coul...
DAVID SEDARIS Every day we're told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it's always stated as an und...
DAVID SEDARIS Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might ca...
DAVID SEDARIS When shit brings you down, just say 'fuck it', and eat yourself some motherfucking candy.
DAVID SEDARIS If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.
DAVID SEDARIS People in trailers were canned and labeled much like the apple juice down at the plant, stamped with...
DAVID SEDARIS I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwi...
DAVID SEDARIS The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections o...
DAVID SEDARIS The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-y...
DAVID SEDARIS My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard o...
DAVID SEDARIS Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise.
DAVID SEDARIS I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter...
DAVID SEDARIS It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will...
DAVID SEDARIS After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where...
DAVID SEDARIS To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.
DAVID SEDARIS Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to ...
DAVID SEDARIS I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a ...
DAVID SEDARIS What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
DAVID SEDARIS People ask me, 'Have you ever considered doing stand-up?' To me it would be less offensive i...
DAVID SEDARIS No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.
DAVID SEDARIS Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people a...
DAVID SEDARIS After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I d...
DAVID SEDARIS For the first twenty years of my life, I rocked myself to sleep. It was a harmless enough hobby, but...
DAVID SEDARIS At first, writing for The New Yorker was very scary to me. I couldn't imagine anything that I would ...
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but I still keep a long list of prospective candi...
DAVID SEDARIS As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners.
DAVID SEDARIS People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that t...
DAVID SEDARIS I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it...
DAVID SEDARIS But most good movies have a gun in them.
DAVID SEDARIS They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too genero...
DAVID SEDARIS I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorist...
DAVID SEDARIS But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.
DAVID SEDARIS Maybe I'll learn a trade. I've considered taxidermy. I always thought it was a shame you couldn't do...
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospecti...
DAVID SEDARIS I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodr...
DAVID SEDARIS I've become like one of those people I hate, the sort who go to the museum and, instead of looking a...
DAVID SEDARIS If you stepped out of the shower and saw a leprechaun standing at the base of your toilet, would you...
DAVID SEDARIS There’s a short circuit between my brain and my tongue, thus “Leave me the fuck alone” comes o...
DAVID SEDARIS A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more ...
DAVID SEDARIS Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering ...
DAVID SEDARIS You're the man now,' she said to me after my father died, 'you're the man.' Then she turned to Popey...
DAVID SEDARIS On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot...
DAVID SEDARIS It's just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.
DAVID SEDARIS States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don't want to get married, it tends t...
DAVID SEDARIS I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.
DAVID SEDARIS When a hurricane damaged my father's house, my brother rushed over with a gas grill, three coolers o...
DAVID SEDARIS It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of...
DAVID SEDARIS Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on th...
DAVID SEDARIS Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all o...
DAVID SEDARIS I'm just a big liar.
DAVID SEDARIS On Undecided Voters: "To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The f...
DAVID SEDARIS It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my ...
DAVID SEDARIS I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter o...
DAVID SEDARIS In Paris the cashiers sit rather than stand. They run your goods over a scanner, tally up the price,...
DAVID SEDARIS Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt...
DAVID SEDARIS I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people...
DAVID SEDARIS He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. "This shit’s like making...
DAVID SEDARIS Scream at the mangled leather carcass lying at the foot of the stairs, and my parents would roar wit...
DAVID SEDARIS Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in m...
DAVID SEDARIS Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Drac...
DAVID SEDARIS Being locked up is one thing, but to have no concept of confinement, to be ignorant of its terms and...
DAVID SEDARIS Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on th...
DAVID SEDARIS Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—...
DAVID SEDARIS I asked her, dreamily, if we had met, and when she told me that we had not, I gave her a little fing...
DAVID SEDARIS Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage.
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candi...
DAVID SEDARIS If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
DAVID SEDARIS … [I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me naïve...
DAVID SEDARIS One thing about English-language bookstores in the age of Amazon is that it assumes that everybody h...
DAVID SEDARIS When they're born outside, crows come and pluck their eyes out.
DAVID SEDARIS Shit is the tofu of cursing and can be molded to whichever condition the speaker desires. Hot as shi...
DAVID SEDARIS the lower bunks, both of us longing to be pinned. “You kids think you invented sex,” my mother w...
DAVID SEDARIS Someone in our family had taken to wiping his or her ass on the bath towels. What made this exceptio...
DAVID SEDARIS The whole notion of the nursing home was something dreamed up by people like my mother; American wom...
DAVID SEDARIS The thing to remeber is that more than anything in this world, these colored people wish they were w...
DAVID SEDARIS the beauty of an art school: as long as you can pay the tuition, they will never, even in the gentle...
DAVID SEDARIS The thought of killing myself had slowed me down to five miles per hour. The thought of killing some...
DAVID SEDARIS You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholi...
DAVID SEDARIS What are you, tap dancing up there? You want a put on a show, do you? Well, the theater's closed for...
DAVID SEDARIS You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, j...
DAVID SEDARIS My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for _who_ I am. Concentrate too hard...
DAVID SEDARIS They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of...
DAVID SEDARIS Motherfucker, you haven't got the fucking balls God gave a goddamned church mouse. You crawled out o...
DAVID SEDARIS Watching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertai...
DAVID SEDARIS He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us!
DAVID SEDARIS Right, I breast feed baby camels in my backyard just for the freaking fun of it. Just tell me where ...
DAVID SEDARIS We give anonymously because the sackfuls of thank-you letters break our hearts with their clumsy han...
DAVID SEDARIS If nothing else, life in the suburbs promised that you might go from day to day without finding shit...
DAVID SEDARIS Motherfucker, you try that again and I'll come in there with a fucking coat hanger and give you some...
DAVID SEDARIS I’d always been afraid of sick people, and so had my mother. It wasn’t that we feared catching t...
DAVID SEDARIS As bad a dresser as I am, anything beats being judged by my character.
DAVID SEDARIS The Greeks had invented democracy, built the Acropolis and called it a day.
DAVID SEDARIS I've always had a way with the little people, making it a point to humor them without looking down m...
DAVID SEDARIS I giggled out loud at his stupidity. If anyone knew how to make a bed, it was a faggot.
DAVID SEDARIS What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was...
DAVID SEDARIS I was a smart-ass, born and raised. This had been my curse and would continue to be so.
DAVID SEDARIS College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for...
DAVID SEDARIS between the disfigurement and the muzzle, it's nearly impossible to catch what she's saying. Always,...
DAVID SEDARIS Shit is the tofu of cursing.
DAVID SEDARIS I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective c...
DAVID SEDARIS Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that t...
DAVID SEDARIS When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had no...
DAVID SEDARIS If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven...
DAVID SEDARIS The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as lo...
DAVID SEDARIS Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.
DAVID SEDARIS That man tried to picka my frienda’s pocketoni!
DAVID SEDARIS They were Jesuits," she told me. "That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should...
DAVID SEDARIS All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is sa...
DAVID SEDARIS He's as nutty as a vegan T-bone.
DAVID SEDARIS A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneas...
DAVID SEDARIS I hate computers. My hatred is entrenched, and I nourish it daily. I’m comfortable with it, and no...
DAVID SEDARIS As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.
DAVID SEDARIS Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the...
DAVID SEDARIS Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in th...
DAVID SEDARIS whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn ...
DAVID SEDARIS If I could believe in myself, why not give other improbabilities the benefit of the doubt?
DAVID SEDARIS I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, "I need a letter o...
DAVID SEDARIS I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk mo...
DAVID SEDARIS I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me.
DAVID SEDARIS I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine.
DAVID SEDARIS My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six mon...
DAVID SEDARIS Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it.
DAVID SEDARIS I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
DAVID SEDARIS But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either.
DAVID SEDARIS The woman spoke with a heavy western North Carolina accent, which I used to discredit her authority....
DAVID SEDARIS The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I ...
DAVID SEDARIS Cover your glass in France or Germany --even worse, in England - and in the voice of someone who has...
DAVID SEDARIS Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconvenienc...
DAVID SEDARIS Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his ...
AMY SEDARIS Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were ...
AMY SEDARIS I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my...
AMY SEDARIS My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
AMY SEDARIS I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someo...
AMY SEDARIS You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use y...
AMY SEDARIS I'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to mak...
AMY SEDARIS I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's ...
AMY SEDARIS People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
AMY SEDARIS I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home; I just choose not to. But...
AMY SEDARIS I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be'...
AMY SEDARIS More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They ...
AMY SEDARIS I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it becaus...
AMY SEDARIS I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.
AMY SEDARIS If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I alway...
AMY SEDARIS You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character acto...
AMY SEDARIS Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny ...
AMY SEDARIS But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
AMY SEDARIS My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.
AMY SEDARIS When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yoursel...
AMY SEDARIS Books are challenging and inspirational to me.
AMY SEDARIS I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.
AMY SEDARIS I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, includ...
AMY SEDARIS I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd ge...
AMY SEDARIS I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff ...
AMY SEDARIS We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.
AMY SEDARIS My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea m...
AMY SEDARIS I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
AMY SEDARIS My characters always like themselves.
AMY SEDARIS It's all about process to me - as long as it's fun to me, I don't care about the final product.
AMY SEDARIS It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high...
AMY SEDARIS I'm satisfied just thinking of the idea.
AMY SEDARIS I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
AMY SEDARIS I'm not a first-place person.
AMY SEDARIS You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors w...
AMY SEDARIS I always got along with all types of people - popular people as well as drug addicts.
AMY SEDARIS It's driving me crazy! It's awful. I saw four last night during the Academy Awards. Four little baby...
AMY SEDARIS I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
AMY SEDARIS