Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist !

Haha, I can't hit you. If I did, I'd feel sorry for the person who'd have to clean up the mess of your splattered brain.

I have proof that apes never evolved - you!

Never make eye contact with a stranger when you’re having a churro.

I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago."
"Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?

Life would be a great deal easier if dead things had the decency to remain dead.