Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

The British tourist was asked what he thought of the Grand Canyon.. and wrote back 'gorge-ous'.

The seal went into the restaurant and was asked by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club on the rocks. He replied no thank you.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand - strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming .. WOO HOO - What a Ride!"

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

I tried so hard to be what you needed.