To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.


Woody Allen

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Th...
WOODY ALLEN
I know now: what is is all that matters. Not the thing you know is meant to be, not what could be, n...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
To love is to act.
VICTOR HUGO
To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
JEAN-LUC GODARD
The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m...
ANDREW TO
Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt...
ANDREW TO
Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank...
ANDREW TO
The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ...
ANDREW TO
Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
ANDREW TO
We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO
Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices.
ANDREW TO
I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag...
ANDREW TO
We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO
I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea...
ANDREW TO
But we all suffer. For we all prize and love; and in this present existence of ours, prizing and lov...
NICHOLAS WOLTERSTORFF
The only way to be happy is to love to suffer.
WOODY ALLEN
Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ...
FEREIDOON YAZDI
Why not admit that it is not our paramount duty to weep with all those who are weeping, to suffer wi...
MAURICE MAETERLINCK
Just because you love someone doesn't mean you're meant to be together.
MICHAELA D.
To love means to be actively concerned for the life and the growth of another.
IRVIN D. YALOM
To be loved is a strength. To love is a weakness.
ZSA ZSA GABOR
To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be.
GOLDA MEIR
To be mad is worse than not to be if this is what it is.
JOHNNY RICH
Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy

"To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to re...
HENRY N. BEARD
To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
TOM ROBBINS
To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
To love is to suffer and there can be no love otherwise.
FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY
There's nothing stupid about wanting to be loved. Believe me.
NINA LACOUR
The sad heart needs work to do.
JOAN BAUER
Most powerful of all powers in its holy insinuation is _being_. _To be_ is more powerful than even _...
GEORGE MACDONALD
The little trouble in the world that is not due to love is due to friendship.
E. W. HOWE
The love you get, is equal to the love you give.
BEN OAK
The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surpr...
C.S. LEWIS
I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who ...
NEIL GAIMAN
Sheep don’t need the shepherd to be what they are. The shepherd needs sheep to be what he is.
LJUPKA CVETANOVA
Finding peace and contentment with Evernight—two emotions he was certain he’d never found in bed...
KRISTEN CALLIHAN
Remember that yours is not the only heart that may be wishing for love.
CAMERON DOKEY
I have to be honest - I don't love guns.
VANESSA FERLITO
You must remember that you are my prime treasure (and always have been).'
Emma Darwin to husban...
DEBORAH HEILIGMAN
Tell me why it feels like you're a part of my soul?
CASSANDRA GIOVANNI
To be rich simply means,to be able to meet people's need.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
when your heart touched mine,I knew then we were one.
THERESA M WILSON
To be rich simply means to be beneficial to others.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
More than any woman I ever knew, she comforted.' -Mrs. Huxley about Emma
DEBORAH HEILIGMAN
That's silly,' said Martha. 'Friends should always tell each other the truth.
JAMES MARSHALL
Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women...
JOSEPH B. WIRTHLIN
In this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women ...
JEFFREY R. HOLLAND
And we learned that you don't have to be famous or rich or physically healthy to be a leader. You ju...
JOAN BAUER
There is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today, and to live most fully today, we ...
THOMAS S. MONSON
Beauty—real everlasting beauty—lives not on our faces, but in our attitude and our actions. It l...
JUSTINA CHEN
man suffers most from the suffering he fears, but never appears, therefore he suffers more then god ...
DUTCH PROVERB
Feast of William Temple, Archbishop of Canterbury, Teacher, 1944 The principle of sacrifice is...
WILLIAM TEMPLE
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It i...
OSHO
For me, happiness is waking up excited even though you have no particular place to go…..
CHERYL RUSHTON
To date or not to date that is the question. It's almost as important as Shakespeare's to be...
AL GOLDSTEIN
Do you not understand?” he whispered. “I have never belonged to anyone. Not since I was a child....
KRISTEN CALLIHAN
There’s just one thing I want to know.”

Julian nodded. “Anything.”

�...
S.J. FROST
Felipe and I, as we discover to our delight, are a perfectly matched, genetically engineered belly-t...
ELIZABETH GILBERT
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
ANAIS NIN
It is good to love the unknown.
CHARLES LAMB
If you want to be happy or if you want to be miserable—either way is your choice. So choose to be ...
DEBASISH MRIDHA
There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the p...
EPICTETUS
War is no solution to peace.
BEN OAK
When our lips parted, he sighed. “I love those eyes, angel. When they look at me, I feel like anyt...
BIJOU HUNTER
Your "Not To Do" list is also important.
MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN
You who suffer because you love, love still more. To die of love, is to live by it.
VICTOR HUGO
At some point, we have each said through our tears, “I’m suffering for a love that’s not worth...
PAULO COELHO
Well, I have lost you; and I lost you fairly;
In my own way, and with my full consent.
Say...
EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY
if we're really meant to be together, someday we're going to find our way back to each other.
ALEXANDER A. MANANTAN
You deserve someone who you don't mind sharing your world with—someone you can trust in it.
...
TERRY A O'NEAL
When there is no reason to be happy, that's all the reason you need to happy
SOTONYE ANGA
Yes! Very funny this terrible thing is. A man that is born falls into a dream like a man who falls i...
JOSEPH CONRAD
It is almost impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to continue to choose misery...
WILLIAM GLASSER
Some read to learn, some to laugh, and some to live.
JOYCE RACHELLE
Love is the only highway to happiness.
DEBASISH MRIDHA
My life is not mine - it is for my people – the humans – the humans of the thinking society.
ABHIJIT NASKAR
Meant to be" allows for lazy. The idea of destiny alleviates anxiety; it comforts us. We stop believ...
STEPHANIE KLEIN
Hope for the best, ‘never’ prepare for the rest, and treat yourself as present’s guest.
ANUROOP TYAGI
Quiero que [mi hijo] conozca el secreto de la felicidad, algo tan sencillo que da la impresión de q...
JAMES RHODES
We think that we suffer from ingratitude, while in reality we suffer from self-love.
WALTER SAVAGE LANDOR
To live according to the spirit is to love according to the spirit.
SAINT FRANCIS DE SALES
To love beauty is to see light.
VICTOR HUGO
It's hard not to love everything Prada does.
HAILEE STEINFELD
I know of only one duty, and that is to love.
ALBERT CAMUS
If you don't like it, learn to love it!
RIC FLAIR
Hell, madam, is to love no longer.
GEORGES BERNANOS
I'm always going to love my father.
FLOYD MAYWEATHER, JR.
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
H. L. MENCKEN
I used to love listening to Jazzy Jeff.
JUICY J
It is sad to love and be unloved, but sadder still to be unable to love.
MAURICE MAETERLINCK, WISDOM AND DESTINY
It is sad to love and be unloved, but sadder still to be unable to love.
MAURICE MAETERLINCK
To love one that is great, is almost to be great one's self.
ELAINE DUNDY
Animosity is a temporary intrusion to the principle makeup of human nature of love, for no one is bo...
JONATHAN CHEN
How to be wealthy;Birth an idea & then take it to the market place & believe that the market place w...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
It's a sheer and an utter nonsense to even think or imagine that a person can gain and retain people...
ANUJ SOMANY
How to be perfect;Think nothing,say nothing & do nothing.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
How to be Great;The moment you realize & accept the ordinary fact that those doing great things toda...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
How to be great;Think of a gigantic & unheard of idea to birth & nurture & inside it lies your great...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
Stay true to yourself.Take everyday challenge in your stride & strive to make journey of life exactl...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN
sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN
If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN
The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha...
WOODY ALLEN
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN
The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN
I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN
In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN
Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN
More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN
It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN
How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN
Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN
A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN
The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN
The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN
Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN
To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN
Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN
My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN
Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN
The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN
My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN
If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN
For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN
We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN
The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN
If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN
Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN
Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN
Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN
A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN
Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN
Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN
I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN
Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN
Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN
As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN
There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN
Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN
The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN
These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN
We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN
Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN
You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN
The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN
We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN
Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN
My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN