Tom: The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you.

[talking about his new wife, Laura]
Angus the Groom: Ignore her. She's drunk. At least I hope she is. Otherwise I'm in real trouble.

Fiona: Where's Gareth?
Matthew: Torturing Americans.
Fiona: How thoughtful of him.

too much morality, too little sense.

I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and... um... settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that!

At first you want to have a reputation as being talented or funny or...you know...special. As you go through it you just the biggest compliment you can get is to be...to get recognized that you're a real pro and consummate professional.