''Varlet and the Squeaking Codpieces'' would be an excellent name for a rock band.
Dave Barry
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Dave Barry Turns 50
DAVE BARRY The Ruts were a great punk rock band from England whose songs were as excellent as their time togeth...
HENRY ROLLINS This would be an excellent program for civic groups.
GEORGIA ZERN After moving to England I did some recording and eventually formed an English band, this was togethe...
SUZI QUATRO When I was 6 years old, I was in a rock band that was horrible called "Dead End." The name kind of d...
AARON CARTER They had a guy by the name of Barry Larkin ,
TREVOR HOFFMAN I am always looking for a cool tee shirt; maybe one with a rock band or an old advertisement.
BRIDGET HALL I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES I would definitely say the Oakland Raiders are the punk rock band of football.
BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG When I was 6 years old, I was in a rock band that was horrible called 'Dead End.' The name k...
AARON CARTER There's this new band that just started with us called the Dave Matthews Band. My God! I mean, I...
BUTCH TRUCKS At the moment I really love listening to the Dave Matthews Band.
NANCY MCKEON Ian Gillan, Roger Glover and I wanted to be a hard rock band - we wanted to play rock and roll only.
RITCHIE BLACKMORE I once knew a man named Barry. I always thought his name was short for 'Barfly'.
FRED LANE It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who care...
PENN JILLETTE Being a new band, I just can't think of a better way to get your name out to all of the Hard-Rock cr...
ADAM RICH I joke that we're not dissimilar to a rock band in the '70s.
ISAAC HANSON Def Leppard is a rock band that can sing.
VIVIAN CAMPBELL Reach out and help others. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. Be a vessel, be the c...
GERMANY KENT I was in a bluegrass band. I made two records with a band called the SteelDrivers. They were nominat...
CHRIS STAPLETON Being a new band, I just can't think of a better way to get your name out to all of the Hard-Roc...
ADAM RICH Dave thought he was bigger than Van Halen the band. So there was this catfight going on for 10 years...
GARY CHERONE I think Brian would be an excellent choice.
DAVID HOFFMAN I've always wanted the IQ of a rock. No, wait. That would be an insult to the rock.
JULIE KAGAWA I had to overcome the name Rock. If I'd been as hip then as I am now, I would have never consented t...
ROCK HUDSON I have total respect for anyone who discovers a band like Snow Patrol. I would be hopeless at signin...
SIMON COWELL If Nirvana had remained a small, underground punk rock band, Kurt Cobain would still be alive. And h...
MOBY Thou seest, thou wicked varlet, now, what’s come upon thee: thou art to continue, now, thou varlet...
LORNA SAGE When you're looking for a band name, I know it sounds weird, but everything you look at, everyth...
DAVE HAYWOOD Live Another Sol would be an awesome name for a James Bond movie.
ANDY WEIR When I was in high school, The Dave Matthews Band was a local band, and that was the first time I wa...
JASON MRAZ We consciously set out to not be a Southern rock band. It was a matter of time before it'd all come ...
CHRIS HENDERSON I had to overcome the name Rock. If I'd been as hip then as I am now, I would have never consent...
ROCK HUDSON Hopefully people can look at our band and see that we're a heavy rock band. We're definitely not a m...
ADAM RICH I was in a rock band; I was my own folk singer; I was in a death metal band for a very short time; I...
KIESZA We're not against Barry Bonds as an individual. We're against what he stands for. ... There was no w...
DENNIS COLLINS In the beginning, Barry and I couldn't decide if we were going got go forward with the name of the B...
ROBIN GIBB Some people think girls can't rock and we're here to prove them wrong. We're a real rock band and, r...
ABBY GENNET History would be an excellent thing if only it were true.
LEO NIKOLAEVICH TOLSTOY I was in a vintage pub rock band called Clover in the 1970s.
HUEY LEWIS Pour, varlet, pour the water
The water steaming hot!
A spoonful for each man of us
An...
THOMAS BABINGTON MACAULAY At the end of the day, I want to be part of the same conversation as Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dave ...
KEVIN HART One day I would love to do rock a gig on the moon - how rad would that be? Isn't Richard Branson...
TOMMY LEE I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got ...
EDDIE EICHORN My mom passed away a day before high school started, and her dream was for me to be a full rock and ...
TRAVIS BARKER [Bellevue] has an excellent reputation. I knew a degree from there would be very practical.
DAN THOMPSON What will make you a star is in you
SOTONYE ANGA I may be taking a different approach, being a guy leading a band with a trombone, but if you take th...
TROMBONE SHORTY In the beginning, Barry and I couldn't decide if we were going got go forward with the name of t...
ROBIN GIBB You know, with bands like Kiss back out on the road and Aerosmith coming out, we are going to be a b...
STEVE BROWN It would be an excellent starting point. We've got volunteers who would be glad to help you out.
BILL MINISH Barry was an outstanding journalist and a great leader,
BILL PATTERSON Be the girl you want your daughter to be. Be the girl you want your son to date. Be classy, be smart...
GERMANY KENT Hopefully people can look at our band and see that we're a heavy rock band. We're definitely...
ADAM RICH The Black Keys is just a band that wants to get on stage and rock it.
DAN AUERBACH It'll be a very uniform sand, excellent color, excellent quality and it will be an enjoyable experie...
GARY MCALPIN One thing people would be surprised about is that although hard rock and heavy metal are without que...
EDDIE TRUNK Every 15, 20, 25 years, a new rock and roll record needs to come out and a new rock and roll band ne...
STEVEN ADLER [Dave Barry, who wrote jokes for Martin's Oscar-hosting gig two years ago, mentioned that he perform...
DAVE BARRY Barry White, Smokey Robinson and Curtis Mayfield are big influences for me. But I'm also a metal...
MAYER HAWTHORNE With Rock Band, you can play along to Black Sabbath or Nirvana and possibly find new ways of appreci...
CARRIE BROWNSTEIN Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.
ANONYMOUS We wanted the first single to be a rock song because a lot of people thought of us as a power-ballad...
DALE STEWART I've never heard of [Scratch Track], but a band like O.A.R. or Dave Matthews will find chill bands l...
JACK ABRAHAM I think Everclear is a weird combination of a singer-songwriter and a hard-rock band. That's why...
ART ALEXAKIS I wish I could tell you me and my rock band were traveling around, strung out. No, we were a family ...
BRUNO MARS Pat Benatar might need a rock band, but I can just sit with a blues guitar for an hour and a half an...
BONNIE RAITT Rock is about finding who you are. You don't necessarily have to play your instrument very well at a...
GENE SIMMONS I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, but the wheel that does the squeaking is the one tha...
JOSH BILLINGS It's certainly Bonhams' view that Manila would make an excellent venue for the sale if a sale should...
ROBERT BROOKS I wouldn't mind being the lead guitarist in an incredibly successful rock band. However, I don...
IAN MCEWAN We're definitely a hodgepodge of influences. Mine, most heavily, would be Southern rock - the Al...
CHARLES KELLEY Before moving to Pennsylvania in 1999, I played bass in a newsroom rock band in South Florida for se...
JOHN GROGAN If I was money-motivated, I wouldn't have joined a rock band with three other Armenian guys.
DARON MALAKIAN My reservation going into this was that no matter how good it turned out, criticism would soon follo...
BRIAN BELL I like recording, performing, recording again, performing again ? I love the cycle. I want them to b...
YUMI YOSHIMURA Too pop for punk, too 'old school' for the New Wave, Mumps were a '70s era New York rock...
LANCE LOUD The band Grizzly Bear, I think they're excellent. There's a beauty and a musicality there th...
TRENT REZNOR An excellent job with a dubious undertaking, which is like saying it would be great if it wasn't awf...
ADA HUXTABLE An excellent job with a dubious undertaking, which is like saying it would be great if it wasn't awf...
ADA LOUISE HUXTABLE From one generation to the next, The Beatles will remain the most important rock band of all time.
DAVE GROHL I started off doing rock 'n' roll, and then I went back, a couple of albums ago, into writing rock '...
JOHN CALE Rock is about finding who you are. You don't necessarily have to play your instrument very well ...
GENE SIMMONS I would have wanted to be a rock star, a lead singer, if I wasn't a model. I'd go touring in...
KATE MOSS As I said to Ringo, I was in a successful Rock N Roll band. He was in a band that changed the world....
GREG LAKE Rock and roll is one of the great American art forms, just like jazz, blues, and bluegrass. We love ...
TOM SMITH Rock and roll doesn't necessarily mean a band. It doesn't mean a singer, and it doesn't mean a lyric...
MALCOLM MCLAREN If we can raise a quarter of a million dollars for cancer research that would be excellent.
JASON PERILLO We used to play the underground clubs like the UFO, and Middle Earth, and they were great because th...
ALVIN LEE We just kind of put out a dream list of mixers, and that included Dave and other such impossibilitie...
MATT BROWN Someone said we were too good looking to be a rock band which is the weirdest thing I have ever hear...
NICK ATKINSON We thought that's the way you were supposed to be if you were in a rock 'n' roll band. F...
DAVID JOHANSEN So, we went from being an Athens band to being a Georgia band to being a Southern band to being an A...
MICHAEL STIPE There's too much of an opportunity for indoctrination here. What a young person could gain from work...
DOUG NELSON A gentleman by the name Robioson the authorized signatory of Black Rock seems to be in possession of...
APURVA GAGLANI In 1996, I was in was in an acoustic kind of rock band, we were called Feeble. We were just playing ...
TRAVIS BARKER Matty blinked. 'You're passing up whips for shopping?'
'You're bitching about ...
LETA BLAKE It is possible for music to be labeled "Christian" and be terrible music. It could lack creativity a...
ROB BELL I was a late bloomer. I was a kinda shy little kid, definitely a child of the dark side. I wanted to...
YUL VAZQUEZ It was a nightmare that would have Barry Manilow screaming in horror.
SIMON COWELL
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Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
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DAVE BARRY Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b...
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DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
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DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
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DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas...
DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
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DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
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DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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DAVE BARRY Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
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DAVE BARRY Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
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DAVE BARRY You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
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DAVE BARRY Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
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DAVE BARRY The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.
DAVE BARRY Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
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DAVE BARRY There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you...
DAVE BARRY Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.
DAVE BARRY Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be att...
DAVE BARRY I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
DAVE BARRY Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.
DAVE BARRY If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
DAVE BARRY We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just abo...
DAVE BARRY Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
DAVE BARRY I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven...
DAVE BARRY Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no n...
DAVE BARRY If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answ...
DAVE BARRY A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to est...
DAVE BARRY As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.
DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background...
DAVE BARRY If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - yo...
DAVE BARRY Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is read...
DAVE BARRY Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, D...
DAVE BARRY Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the...
DAVE BARRY What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such ...
DAVE BARRY The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since th...
DAVE BARRY While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Int...
DAVE BARRY And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacInto...
DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for b...
DAVE BARRY Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting techniq...
DAVE BARRY The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed...
DAVE BARRY Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in Janu...
DAVE BARRY The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and att...
DAVE BARRY Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always...
DAVE BARRY What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if pe...
DAVE BARRY I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BARRY Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions...
DAVE BARRY Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ev...
DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 feet per second, is a c...
DAVE BARRY For many years the National Pretend Speed Limit was fifty-five miles per hour (metric equivalent: 37...
DAVE BARRY All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears - of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of fallin...
DAVE BARRY Technically, Windows is an "operating system," which means that it supplies your computer with the b...
DAVE BARRY Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. (This is also true of relig...
DAVE BARRY The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have...
DAVE BARRY The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.
DAVE BARRY I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't ca...
DAVE BARRY I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software inco...
DAVE BARRY Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck throug...
DAVE BARRY If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and f...
DAVE BARRY This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as bei...
DAVE BARRY More and more products are coming out in fiercely protective packaging designed to prevent consumers...
DAVE BARRY USER, n.: The word computer professionals use when they mean 'idiot.'
DAVE BARRY UNIVAC: a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 ton...
DAVE BARRY The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Den...
DAVE BARRY 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
DAVE BARRY Grammatically, should of is a predatory admonition; as such, it is always used as part of a herpetol...
DAVE BARRY It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This...
DAVE BARRY I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting, possibly because the person...
DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withsta...
DAVE BARRY Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or they should at least both be fairly dark
DAVE BARRY What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a...
DAVE BARRY When Thomas Paine showed Benjamin Franklin the manuscript of The Age of Reason, Franklin advised him...
DAVE BARRY We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty...
DAVE BARRY All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.
DAVE BARRY We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days s...
DAVE BARRY If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
DAVE BARRY And Ted Koppel comes walking down the aisle. We'd met a few times, so we said hello.
DAVE BARRY Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT."
DAVE BARRY There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary.
DAVE BARRY 1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left b...
DAVE BARRY Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on you...
DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY Sir,” James asked, “what are we going to do?”
“We’re going to look for water,” said...
DAVE BARRY Seriously? You won’t help me?”
“Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.
DAVE BARRY If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, ...
DAVE BARRY If Peter was nine, and a new boy came to St. Norbert’s Home for Wayward Boys who said he was ten, ...
DAVE BARRY Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably...
DAVE BARRY If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you wo...
DAVE BARRY It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This...
DAVE BARRY Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religi...
DAVE BARRY A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
DAVE BARRY Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals.
DAVE BARRY I gotta tell you, ... It's pretty crazy when you think about taking whatever's on the other end of t...
DAVE BARRY It was by far just a one-girl show. She led every offensive and defensive category for Bishop Kearne...
DAVE BARRY one of South Florida's most vital natural resources, a relentlessly sane voice in a howling hurrican...
DAVE BARRY drink beer. But that's kind of my goal pretty much wherever I go.
DAVE BARRY I'm very pleased that we made the top four. But I feel that we could have had a stronger showing.
DAVE BARRY I've been asked to make an announcement, ... There is a non-luxury car in the parking lot. We've bee...
DAVE BARRY The term SAT is a set of initials, or autonym, standing for Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization.
DAVE BARRY We've actually gotten better musically over the years, ... But we've come to realize that we will ne...
DAVE BARRY Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it.
DAVE BARRY Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art...
DAVE BARRY I find myself having these conversations where I go...“You know, the guy, in that place. The guy i...
DAVE BARRY Some archeologists believe that Stonehenge - the mysterious arrangement of enormous elongated stones...
DAVE BARRY Ridley is a tea drinker.
DAVE BARRY It's a concept I've often thought of.
DAVE BARRY You get people from all walks of life here -- who work in domestic service.
DAVE BARRY I believe that's one of the finest action regurgitation scenes in the history of literature, ... I'd...
DAVE BARRY We became pretty sensitive about it. We visited Great Ormond Street Hospital when we were in England...
DAVE BARRY What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge ham...
DAVE BARRY I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.
DAVE BARRY Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuc...
DAVE BARRY Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger...
DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable ent...
DAVE BARRY Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant d...
DAVE BARRY I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks sh...
DAVE BARRY Puns are little 'plays on words' that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look...
DAVE BARRY There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his ...
DAVE BARRY The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winte...
DAVE BARRY It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
DAVE BARRY