FastSaying

Vice President Dick Cheney is currently out in South Dakota on a three-day hunting trip. What better place for a man who has had four heart attacks than to be carrying a big gun and a backpack through the snow looking for red meat.


Jay Leno

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a gu...
JAY LENO Under this bill, if (Vice President) Dick Cheney had his hunting accident in Mississippi, there woul...
BARBARA POWELL The man I am today it's not the man of yesterday
CHRISTOPHER FUDGE On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a big milestone for him, surpasse...
JAY LENO The chair and longtime friend of Dick Cheney is proud to declare Dick Cheney the Republican nominee ...
TRENT LOTT Did you see more glass?
J.D. SALINGER She was a girl who for a ringing phone dropped exactly nothing. She looked as if her phone had been ...
J.D. SALINGER When is the last time anybody heard Vice President Dick Cheney even feign a word of concern for the ...
JEFFREY SACHS President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a coupl...
JAY LENO If we all took a minute to reflect upon the wrong we do we would be quite surprised or shocked.Inste...
GARY F EVANS... Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight, which is useful information if you're moving out ...
RON DARIAN is a broken man an outlaw?"

"More or less." Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald ...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN The summer sun continued to rise in the sky and propel shocks of heat down on the city and the heavy...
HUBERT SELBY JR. The opportunity to decieve others is ever present and often tempting, and each instance of deception...
SAM HARRIS Mother Superior jump the gun...
-The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun
LAUREN MYRACLE (All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes...
JEAN SASSON How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate in 2004. Cheney says wants fo...
JAY LENO History is a wheel, for the nature of man is fundamentally unchanging. What has happened before will...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney has had to go through this past ...
HARRY WHITTINGTON It has become a cliche to say that Dick Cheney is the most powerful vice president in American histo...
DANIEL BENJAMIN It's a simple thing to triumph over your enemies; to confused them and make them unable to retaliate...
J.R. MORALES These philosophically fun ideas usually satisfy nobody. Nonetheless, they remind us that ignorance i...
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON If President Bush told Dick Cheney to do something, rather than the other way around, that would be ...
DAVIS LOGSDON Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly has been disturbed over what he sees as the erosion of preside...
HELEN THOMAS Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you...
C. JOYBELL C. It's a great pity that things weren't so arranged that an empty head, like an empty stomach, wouldn'...
UNKNOWN We should be ready for a change.
DEYTH BANGER Oh happy day! A day to make a hay! And when it is mid-day, think about the day! And when you think a...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play.
J.R. RIM A small change can make a big difference. You are the only one who can make our world a better place...
ANKITA SINGHAL Las cosas nunca suceden como yo las imagino.
JOHN GREEN If what I've been told is true - and I believe it is, General David Petraeus, a commander with s...
ERIC MASSA What will make you a star is in you
SOTONYE ANGA I really didn't have any particular inspiration ? a little (Dick) Cheney and Al Gore in there somewh...
RAY WISE With Bush, I've long thought this presidency has been swallowed by his vice president. Dick Cheney i...
JOHN DEAN Heath is not a public kind of guy and this has been rough for him. He has had to go on Oprah Winfrey...
TERRY GILLIAM People themselves makes a lots of mistakes and still loves himself, and they never forget a single m...
OM BENIWAL You can not change what happened or bring back the past. But you can change the future by being stro...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Curran's whore comes to visit us," Jarek said in accented English.

The three men laughed ...
ILONA ANDREWS [So, a big] thank you ... Dick Cheney in 2000! [sic] Dick Cheney in 2000! [sic]
BOB WOODWARD Jay Leno is not a guy who likes change. He eats the same food every day.
TED ALLEN [? White House press secretary Ari Fleischer said Vice President Dick Cheney had been moved from the...
ARI FLEISCHER To know wisdom is to be all knowledgeable ,to use that knowledge for the greater good is to no that ...
GARY F EVANS... This past weekend encompassed all of us in a cloud of misfortune and sadness that is not easy to exp...
HARRY WHITTINGTON To be a man is, precisely, to be responsible.
ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY A dead heart is a dead life; keep your heart alive; let your heart beat for something unique!
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH with less credibility on Iraq than Vice President Cheney.
SENATOR JOHN KERRY What you taken for granted, could mean a lot to another.
ZENG HAN JUN Have & Have Not
SAVAN SOLANKI Mission accomplished? The mission in Iraq, as laid out by President Bush and Vice President Cheney, ...
ROBERT BYRD Under Dick Cheney, this has been the most substantive vice presidency in history.
TERRY HOLT A coin is examined, and only after careful deliberation, given to a beggar, whereas a child is flung...
PETER WESSEL ZAPFFE Without music, life is a journey through a desert.
PAT CONROY I have never been more terrified in my life than when Dick Cheney whipped out that gun. I was sure I...
DAVID GREGORY He's secretive by nature. It's a dumb thing for officials to do, especially someone as experienced a...
LARRY SABATO Well, you can't know it without something having been sneezed.
A.A. MILNE We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.
Even longer,' Pooh answered.”
...
A.A. MILNE What vice could be worse than covetousness? What is more sinful than slander? For one who is truthfu...
CHANAKYA When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing w...
A.A. MILNE Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and s...
CARTER CROCKER There's the 'right way' and the 'usual way'.
Folks tend to confuse both.
The right way i...
UFUOMA APOKI A great man even when dead,his name will continue to elicit greatness for generations to come.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) The light of a great man shines for generations to come.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) Who is a great man? A great man is a person whom people are dying to write books about.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) A new day simply means all our errors of the previous day has been forgiven us,we can now re-begin a...
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) The more Dick Cheney is out there the better it is for John Kerry -- the better it is for Democrats,
TERRY MCAULIFFE The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself. All we need is one more lia...
HELEN THOMAS Never give up on you. In order to make a difference you would have to somehow be different.
JOHNNIE DENT JR. His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha...
TEKOA MANNING blackmagic on a person http://www.astrodost.com/how-to-do-black-magic-on-a-person blackmagic on a pe...
ASTRODOST I'd love to be a man for a day, just to see what it's like.
BRITTANY MURPHY The best thing you can do for your kids is to show them God working in you on a daily basis.
CRAIG GROESCHEL Life is a re-discovery.
BRIAN BLESSED If you think that life is a celebration full of party poppers and merry go rounds it's not it's a ga...
GARY F EVANS... Life Is a Misconception.
DEYTH BANGER Life is a desire!
DEYTH BANGER To trust someone you must firstly remember that it is a two way street that will go all the way if y...
GARY F EVANS... It is a lie.
ARTHUR MILLER To me, the excitement is in ordering a fine shotgun, going through the process that everybody who ha...
TOM SELLECK When everyone has a microphone, you can't hear anything. Choose one voice carefully and listen in.
RICHIE NORTON [Vice President Dick Cheney told The Washington Post on Sunday that the war on terrorism that began ...
RICHARD MYERS The Security and Exchanges Commission is going to be investigating Vice President Dick Cheney. They'...
DAVID LETTERMAN People live for eating,but I eat for survive
OM BENIWAL I'd rather be a kid and play with paper planes, than be a man and play with a woman's heart.
NIALL HORAN Eventually I came across another passage. This is what it said:
I am not commanding you, but I ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS To kill a mockingbird. If you haven't read it, I think you should because it is very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY I will never forget the vision of Jamie walking towards me.
NICHOLAS SPARKS As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, the...
NICHOLAS SPARKS You don't have to learn much out of books, it's like if you want to learn about cows, you go milk on...
HARPER LEE You can't really get to know a person until you get in their shoes and walk around in them.
HARPER LEE As a former naval captain, having the vice president out is a big honor for Doug.
DAVID HOFFMAN You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl...
TAMMARA WEBBER [President Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney, national security adviser Condoleezza Rice and Secretar...
ARI FLEISCHER If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live wi...
JOAN POWERS Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?'
'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh...
A.A. MILNE By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER I learned there were lots of realities in the world.
HARUKI MURAKAMI I knew everything happened for a reason. I just wished the reason would hurry up and make itself kno...
CHRISTINA LAUREN The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS

More Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't f...
JAY LENO If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
JAY LENO The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had bot...
JAY LENO Martha Stewart stuffed and roasted canaries and found they could no longer sing.
JAY LENO You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
JAY LENO If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
JAY LENO Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
JAY LENO Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said toda...
JAY LENO I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.
JAY LENO For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that mak...
JAY LENO If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet...
JAY LENO Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
JAY LENO President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important f...
JAY LENO Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, so...
JAY LENO In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.
JAY LENO Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
JAY LENO There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from c...
JAY LENO a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift for a guy... the plant is already dead (monologue Dec 10 2003).
JAY LENO The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we...
JAY LENO Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will ...
JAY LENO There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give every...
JAY LENO I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good…Maybe you're...
JAY LENO The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
JAY LENO I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'W...
JAY LENO How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?
JAY LENO Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
JAY LENO Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Tea...
JAY LENO Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are...
JAY LENO Vice President Cheney is also on vacation. He's in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What better place for a gu...
JAY LENO I just got a phone call that Tom Cruise had a baby girl about two minutes ago. No joke.
JAY LENO Did you hear about this story? ... Several Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated after a ...
JAY LENO Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who could...
JAY LENO It seems an Iranian-born German soccer star is refusing to play in his team's next match because it'...
JAY LENO The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors ...
JAY LENO President Bush agreed today to allow more weapons inspectors in Iraq. As I understand he has 250,000...
JAY LENO Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How di...
JAY LENO I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, F...
JAY LENO Luckily, when I was a kid, Ritalin hadn't been invented yet,
JAY LENO John Kerry met with Al Sharpton. Can you see the two of them standing together? It'd look like Abe L...
JAY LENO For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
JAY LENO I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "W...
JAY LENO More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistress...
JAY LENO CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's ...
JAY LENO The White House began airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry camp...
JAY LENO Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. B...
JAY LENO I was a little kid and I was fascinated by the roast beef going around the spit. So I took out my li...
JAY LENO Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember th...
JAY LENO I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you...
JAY LENO A week later, President Bush said his administration's response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he...
JAY LENO Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now the Republicans can admit that S...
JAY LENO We have an important decision to make now about who controls Iraq. You know, that's a critical quest...
JAY LENO Dick Cheney has announced that he has agreed to be Bush's running mate in 2004. Cheney says wants fo...
JAY LENO Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lotter...
JAY LENO Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ...
JAY LENO According to this week's Time magazine, President George Bush is a serious fitness buff. He works ou...
JAY LENO One of the interpreters hired by CBS for the Dan Rather/Saddam Hussein interview adopted a phony Ara...
JAY LENO They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 mill...
JAY LENO In a speech yesterday John Kerry said that before November he may go to Iraq. Is that a good idea fo...
JAY LENO The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You kno...
JAY LENO Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind...
JAY LENO According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton...
JAY LENO Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. Y...
JAY LENO The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry You can understand why...
JAY LENO Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is fi...
JAY LENO A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he c...
JAY LENO John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks...
JAY LENO Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at...
JAY LENO Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? ...
JAY LENO Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be th...
JAY LENO War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were going to call it Operat...
JAY LENO You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
JAY LENO Shaquille O'Neal, ... has signed a five-year, $100-million contract extension with the Miami Heat. ....
JAY LENO telling you how tough it was in the old days -- how cramped it was, how small it was, how lucky you ...
JAY LENO Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-ele...
JAY LENO Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bo...
JAY LENO New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive
JAY LENO President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail communication. He will not be us...
JAY LENO Now, I have a Halloween mask I think you might get a kick out of. That's scary.
JAY LENO Why do elephants go swimming? To get their trunks wet.
JAY LENO Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic...
JAY LENO There are reports that Saddam has been spotted in central Baghdad. Parts of him were also spotted in...
JAY LENO If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
JAY LENO In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administrati...
JAY LENO The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn'...
JAY LENO President Clinton, this guy is sharp. Boy, he gave Hillary the most romantic Valentine's gift today,...
JAY LENO On Monday, President Bush will reach his 100th day in office. It's a big milestone for him, surpasse...
JAY LENO Plus, I promised Mavis (his wife) I would take her out for dinner before I turned 60.
JAY LENO John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, ...
JAY LENO Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has ...
JAY LENO The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Te...
JAY LENO Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, afte...
JAY LENO He seemed a little scripted in his speech,
JAY LENO We put our two 4-year-old minds together and came up with some jokes that 8-year-olds would like.
JAY LENO Tonight
JAY LENO nice to see at least one Dodger scoring this year.
JAY LENO He didn't want to sell it, but since he's off steroids he can only wear it as a bracelet now.
JAY LENO You think, well, I can't cry anymore. You go, 'Oh gee,' and you see that pregnant mom, you see that ...
JAY LENO Man, what is it down to, just a couple of voters?
JAY LENO The critics said, 'Well, Arnold can't be an administrator, he's an actor. Arnold can't be an environ...
JAY LENO I thought he looked quite good in his flight suit landing on the aircraft carrier. He looked very na...
JAY LENO It's a big showroom at MGM. It will bring in a few thousand people because it's free. When times are...
JAY LENO Bring him on once you catch him.
JAY LENO I guess that would be your sister in Kentucky,
JAY LENO Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown o...
JAY LENO It's mostly a family story. It's about my mom and my dad. And I come from one of those homes where e...
JAY LENO Have you ever used a fake ID?
JAY LENO Democrats have been complaining that President Bush has spent more than 21 percent of his time in of...
JAY LENO U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking n...
JAY LENO George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out becaus...
JAY LENO A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400.
JAY LENO If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology
JAY LENO An Israeli man's life was saved when he was given a Palestinian man's heart in a heart transplant op...
JAY LENO The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't ...
JAY LENO Hillary said today that she knew nothing about her brother's involvement (in Clinton's pardons). I b...
JAY LENO There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our...
JAY LENO I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good?Maybe you're ...
JAY LENO If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates
JAY LENO You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.
JAY LENO America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat ...
JAY LENO The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can fin...
JAY LENO I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call ...
JAY LENO President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he think...
JAY LENO In just two weeks, Bill Clinton will no longer be President of the United States. He'll just be anot...
JAY LENO Beverly Hills.
JAY LENO Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with ...
JAY LENO (The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep gettin...
JAY LENO Dick Cheney finally responded today to demands that he reveal the details of the Enron meetings. Thi...
JAY LENO Dick Cheney told reports that he has a new outlook on life. He says the best part of waking up is......
JAY LENO The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with cri...
JAY LENO Well that's a nice thing, ... Mom, I'm making millions now. I got you a new dryer.'
JAY LENO President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a coupl...
JAY LENO At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battere...
JAY LENO Vice President Dick Cheney said he is upset when critics say [the administration] lied us into the w...
JAY LENO John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used...
JAY LENO John Kerry said today that he stands by ... his claim that certain foreign leaders have told him tha...
JAY LENO John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take he...
JAY LENO Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons....
JAY LENO Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or eve...
JAY LENO Newsweek reported that 87 Congressman are currently having affairs. In fact, that is why they have r...
JAY LENO The Pentagon said today they're sending another 100,000 troops into the Gulf. We have 250,000 there ...
JAY LENO Tip flying in the winter: Book an afternoonflight. The airport security personell has warmed their h...
JAY LENO The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's Presid...
JAY LENO Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy wit...
JAY LENO According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White Hou...
JAY LENO President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq....
JAY LENO All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.
JAY LENO I’m a great believer in low self-esteem. Self-esteem is great for actors and criminals. I assume e...
JAY LENO Marriage is grand. Divorce is twenty grand.
JAY LENO Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $...
JAY LENO Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'
JAY LENO Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to...
JAY LENO In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and th...
JAY LENO Politics is just show business for ugly people
JAY LENO President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style dem...
JAY LENO Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ...
JAY LENO John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shu...
JAY LENO There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, ...
JAY LENO The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we...
JAY LENO The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' ...
JAY LENO Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of...
JAY LENO Politics is just show business for ugly people.
JAY LENO A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, ...
JAY LENO My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
JAY LENO Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back togethe...
JAY LENO With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides,
flooding, severe thunderstorms tea...
JAY LENO I was reading in the paper today that Congress wants to replace the dollar bill with a coin. They’...
JAY LENO Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But t...
JAY LENO has failed his test of leadership and missed an historic opportunity to stand up for the basic civil...
MARK LENO Society is strongest when it upholds the basic civil rights of all its citizens, including the right...
MARK LENO We're an American Legion post, so we're emphasizing the red, white and blue. But we're also using la...
MARK LENO Ah! What is man? Wherefore does he why? Whence did he whence? Whither is he withering?
DAN LENO Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all California families will have the same protectio...
MARK LENO It's a significant accomplishment. It was a thing of beauty,
MARK LENO He was resolute in his leadership, ... He always said civil rights is civil rights.
MARK LENO When you set aside all the emotion and hyperbole and drama surrounding this bill, it comes down to s...
MARK LENO I couldn't do anything but keep going. It says something for being a little bit tenacious,
MARK LENO We think it'll be tomorrow or Thursday, ... We want to make sure we have a full house of Democrats, ...
MARK LENO I trust that my colleagues are searching their hearts and reading the constitution as they decide th...
MARK LENO We are so very close, ... It would be very disappointing for this body not to be able to stand up fo...
MARK LENO It's just the beginning.
MARK LENO I think there's a better way to approach many of these issues,
MARK LENO It's unfortunate for the Republicans to say if we don't see it their way, we're soft on crime or sup...
MARK LENO No legislative body has ever passed such a measure. It would be historic,
MARK LENO The Democrats are labeled profligate spenders, but I can guarantee I didn't have one bill with a $15...
MARK LENO They are considered no different than married couples with regards to responsibility for children,
MARK LENO No. 1, the crime would not have occurred. And the brutality would not have been (as bad) as it was. ...
MARK LENO He cannot claim to support fair and equal legal protections for same-sex couples, ... and veto the v...
MARK LENO Allowing same-sex couples to access one another's health care plans, make joint medical decisions, i...
MARK LENO The Legislature has done the hard work of picking up the issue of the day, holding public hearings, ...
MARK LENO The issue doesn't go away, ... Support will only increase. The more the public hears about same-sex ...
MARK LENO Margita Thompson has said all kinds of things in the past that have proven not to be true, ... I wil...
MARK LENO It would be highly unusual and a direct insult to the proponents of this bill and the many millions ...
MARK LENO He cannot veto the bill until it gets to his desk, ... It may not get there for a couple more weeks ...
MARK LENO [After first ducking the issue on Wednesday, Schwarzenegger surprised lawmakers with his statement.]...
MARK LENO I believe this is a governor who is a libertarian,
MARK LENO Today represents another milestone toward the fulfillment of the American dream for thousands of les...
MARK LENO Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all Californians, all California's children and fami...
MARK LENO I believe this is a governor who at his core is a libertarian on issues of social matters, ... and t...
MARK LENO The moment I started reading, I was no longer in my bedroom, no longer sad, no longer even myself.
KATRINA LENO It's what everybody is waiting for. Everybody is excited about the World Cup and I hope it gets thin...
LENO RIVERA