We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.

You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.'