We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices. Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, Human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. it is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more


Woody Allen

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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
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Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
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She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
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My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
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I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
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Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
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I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
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If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
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I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
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Subjectivity is objective.
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The most expensive sex is free sex
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These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
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We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
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This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
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The heart wants what it wants.
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Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
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My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
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