We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand scale, most of these choices are on lesser points. But we define ourselves by the choices we have made. We are, in fact, the sum total of our choices. Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, Human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. it is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more
Woody Allen
Related We're nothing but human. The way of life can be free and beautiful. But we have lost the w... ANONYMOUS Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made. WAYNE DYER In this life, we have to make many choices. Some are very important choices. Some are not. Many of o... JAMES E. FAUST We are far from perfect but willing to be different. CRAIG GROESCHEL We all create the person we become by our choices as we go through life. In a very real sense, by th... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT As all human beings are, in my view, creatures of God's design, we must respect all other human ... STOCKWELL DAY Destiny consist in the moments that we experienced, and not in the choices we have to do. DANIEL MELGAçO The choices that we make through our lives, the people who intersect us on our path kind of change w... ANTHONY MACKIE If we all look at life we think how nice, then we look at death and everybody goes oh you can say th... GARY F EVANS... The choices and decisions we make now are going to affect our children and future generations. CIANNAT HOWETT I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES We're more than the sum total of our choices, that all the paths we might have taken factor somehow ... BLAKE CROUCH Our being is more important than our doing. We are human beings, acting as though we are human doing... HENNA INAM Orion is above the horizon now, and near it Jupiter, brighter than it will ever be ... But i expect ... THOMAS HARRIS Americans are very practical folks. Accustomed to hard choices in their own lives, they are willing ... MICHAEL HAYDEN It's important with any new technology to try to pay conscious attention to what the drawbacks m... JAMES GLEICK Our parents are not the only people on this planet, and we should not base our life choices on what ... LUKASZ LANIECKI Destiny is not always preordained. Life is about making choices. Our lives are the sum of all the ch... JUDITH LAND We may not get to choose how we die, but we can chose how we live. The universe may for... SHAUN DAVID HUTCHINSON Preparation is good for success and it is a noble thing to prepare excellently for success, but in r... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH You always pray for a healthy child, and in this situation, Naieya was born with Spina Bifida... We ... DEONTAY WILDER The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It i... OSHO The friends we have, these are choices that - unlike family, which we have no choice in, and I love ... DAN GILROY Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice w... JIM ROHN A couple of customers interrupted [...] who wanted to know if we had some YA book about ants and ali... SHAUN DAVID HUTCHINSON Theory of Choice:
Life is all about choices you make and the butterfly effect of these choices you a... DR. VINOD B. NAIR One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In stoppi... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of ... ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS We're all about pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, et cetera - I think that's a harmful... JESMYN WARD The more I look around and listen I realize that I'm not alone. We are all facing choices that defin... SABRINA WARD HARRISON When things don't always go our way, we have two choices in dealing with the situations. We can focu... SUSAN SAMAROO Each of us views life through a different lens. What we think is colored by the baggage we carry, an... LAURIE BUCHANAN, PHD In the things that really matter--our covenants, the commandments, and following the prophet--we nee... SHERI DEW Personal responsibility is the willingness to completely accept choices that we have made throughout... ASA DON BROWN Everything passes by, and we are left with just our memories BEN OAK One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In stop... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT Life is worth more than man will ever know. Each of our choices open up the possibility of a differe... THIERRY COHEN We try so hard to instruct our children in all the right things―teaching good from bad, explaining... RICHELLE E. GOODRICH We recommend parents come with their kids because some of videos are graphic. We are not trying to s... JENNA BERRY One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the lo... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the lo... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the lo... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT I know it doesn't feel this way all the time, but we get to choose what we care about and what we sp... JOHN GREEN It's a lie to think that you are not good enough. It's a lie to think that you are not beautiful. It... DISON ARNIBAL My simple explanation of why we human beings, the most advanced species on earth, cannot find happin... DR ROBIN LINCOLN WOOD In order to align your life choices with your values, you will need to inquire about the effects of ... ZOE WEIL One of the most important things that I have learned in my 57 years is that life is all about choice... MIKE DEWINE Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That Y... THEHEALTHFOODGURU In a time of tight budgets, difficult choices have to be made. We must make sure our very limited re... BOB RILEY We need to teach the next generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their li... ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS We have a hope of succeeding if we learn from our past mistakes and pull together to make the hard c... CARL LEVIN What it means is that you make choices. And the choices are that we have forwards, and we want to lo... DARCY REGIER If we're honest with ourselves, most of us know the one thing we lack. CRAIG GROESCHEL A child in India grows up with the idea that you have to make choices that will create a better futu... DEEPAK CHOPRA When all is said and done, by what are we measured? By the body of choices we have made through toda... DONNA M THOMAS The choices that are given to us always has the same ending. It is what we bring with us to the end ... NIRVIK PARAJULI We are accountable for our actions as we exercise our moral agency. If we understand this principle ... L. LIONEL KENDRICK Pain defines moments in the lives of all human beings. The trial is not the endurance of pain but th... RICHELLE E. GOODRICH Like all animals, human beings have always taken what they want from nature. But we are the rogue sp... EDWARD BURTYNSKY Two types of choices seem to me to have been crucial in tipping the outcomes [of the various societi... JARED DIAMOND We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our live... WILLIAM GLASSER So, tomorrow, I'm leaving. And I'm not going to let that happen again with anyone else. I'm going to... STEPHEN CHBOSKY The way to activate the seeds of your creation is by making choices about the results you want to cr... ROBERT FRITZ Independence is counterfeit freedom. We think if we can make all our own choices and do our own thin... PAULINE CREEDEN The ability to make wise choices is the most valuable skill a person can develop. ABHISHEK RATNA Some of our struggles involve making decisions, while others are a result of the decisions we have m... L. LIONEL KENDRICK Ideas matter. The world matters. Our lives matter, and the choices we make as we navigate our lives ... LAUREN MYRACLE 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give... JAMES C. DOBSON In a time of tight budgets, difficult choices have to be made. We must make sure our very limited re... BOB RILEY We need to teach the next generation of children from day one that they are responsible for their li... ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS Our time on earth is not measured by what we have, but instead the choices we have made and the ones... JEFFREY COLEMAN JR. In life we have choices, and depending on the choices we all make will determine our final path, roa... GARY F EVANS... Life is choice. All day, everyday. Who we talk to, where we sit, what we say, how we say it. And our... LOUISE PENNY Life is choice. All day, everyday. Who we talk to, where we sit, what we say, how we say it. And our... LOUISE PENNY How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine." The Q... LEWIS CARROLL We create our own destiny with our choices and decisions. We can base these
decisions upon the aware... GAIL PURSELL ELLIOTT A lot can be determined by the choices we make, even if the action is initiated by self-preservation... MICHAEL J. SULLIVAN Friendship is a double-edged sword one side it can be great and true but the other side it spells be... GARY F EVANS... The way you activate the seeds of your creation is by making choices
about results you want to creat... ROBERT FRITZ Dreams are hopeful because they exist as pure possibility. Unlike memories, which are fossils, long ... SHAUN DAVID HUTCHINSON The picture is not a documentary, ... It's a drama that has to be crafted. Reality is not art. You h... MARK RYDELL We all are on the anvil of our destinies shaping and molding them into place.The shape it forms once... GARY F EVANS... How is Life Full of Choices? When we eat too much, we make a choice to be overweight. When we drink ... SHIV KHERA The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have. CRAIG GROESCHEL When we understand the connection between how we live and how long we live, it's easier to make ... DEAN ORNISH The Biggest Threat to our Democracy, Freedoms and Future is Leadership that fosters and Appeases the... MICHAEL HARRIS We might not know we are seeking people who best enrich our lives, but somehow on a deep subconsciou... SIMON PEGG In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never
ends until we die. An... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT Love and relationships are truly one of the most paradoxical aspects of being human. For it is in lo... ANONYMOUS It became by mission to work with young people to help show them the way, not save them! But help th... JOSE A. AVILES ED. D. Life is supposedly filled with paths that enable unlimited choices, but that is a blatant lie. No on... J.D. STROUBE Considering the importance of resentment in our lives, and the damage it does, it receives scant att... THEODORE DALRYMPLE If we could raise one generation with unconditional love, there would be no Hitlers. We need to te... DR ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS The times in our lives in which we feel that we have the least power are actually
the times when we ... GAIL PURSELL ELLIOTT By erasing any nuance and complexity about porn and sexuality, the virginity movement gives young wo... JESSICA VALENTI We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us. KEN LEVINE “Obstacles are put in our way, not to stop us, but gives us a challenges to gain courage and stren... TOM BAKER AKA THE PONDERING MAN It allows people to identify what foods are most important to them, look at the cost to their health... KAREN COLLINS Believe it or not, the notions of free will and destiny are not mutually exclusive. Prede... VERA NAZARIAN In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. An... ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
More Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot... WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in... WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car... WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman... WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m... WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w... WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!' WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards. WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk. WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum... WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death. WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself. WOODY ALLEN One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, tha... WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old! WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white... WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social. WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right. WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it. WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me. WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y... WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -... WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and... WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else. WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked... WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.. WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope. WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun. WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I... WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature. WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down. WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead. WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ... WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut... WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An... WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up. WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy... WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc... WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'. WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ... WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ... WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an... WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours. WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans. WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF. WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government. WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw... WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ... WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year. WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway. WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t... WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi... WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f... WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o... WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance. WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t... WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic. WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin... WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian. WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da... WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa... WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou... WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h... WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi... WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo... WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving? WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird. WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something. WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately? WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job. WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ... WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead. WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ... WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi. WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m... WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat... WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune. WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--... WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank. WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab... WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun... WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying. WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size? WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ... WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g... WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther... WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter... WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre... WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag... WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y... WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare... WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty. WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland. WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca... WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ. WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews... WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca... WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge... WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words. WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says... WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr... WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life. WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, [Cloquet... WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective. WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you.... WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow... WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth. WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed. WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad... WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The... WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants. WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1 . He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t... WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ. WOODY ALLEN