Tom Robbins quote: "What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind if want to be funny or serious. My response is that I will make up my mind when God does, because life is a commingling of the sacred and the profane, good and evil. To try and separate them is fallacy."

There were no mail-order catalogues in 1492. Marco Polo's journal was the wish book of Renaissance E...
TOM ROBBINS

Look, America is no more a democracy than Russia is a Communist state. The governments of the U.S. a...
TOM ROBBINS

To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
TOM ROBBINS

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
TOM ROBBINS

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
TOM ROBBINS

Just because you're naked doesn't mean you're sexy. Just because you're cynical doesn't mean you're ...
TOM ROBBINS

You knows dat in New Orleans is not morning 'til dee sun come up.
TOM ROBBINS

When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years o...
TOM ROBBINS

When two people meet and fall in love, there's a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally prese...
TOM ROBBINS

...disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business....
TOM ROBBINS

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.
TOM ROBBINS

If one yearns to see the face of the Divine, one must break out of the aquarium, escape the fish far...
TOM ROBBINS

To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
TOM ROBBINS

Humans have evolved to their relatively high state by retaining the immature characteristics of thei...
TOM ROBBINS

Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but mat...
TOM ROBBINS

Adultery usually follows a law of diminishing returns.
TOM ROBBINS

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.
TOM ROBBINS

It is never too late to have a happy childhood
TOM ROBBINS

There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for.
TOM ROBBINS

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
TOM ROBBINS

I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ
TOM ROBBINS

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
TOM ROBBINS

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautiou...
TOM ROBBINS

Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sig...
TOM ROBBINS

A writer needs a life of introspection.
TOM ROBBINS

In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's continually retold in an acc...
TOM ROBBINS

I have always been a romantic, one of those people who believes that a woman in pink circus tights c...
TOM ROBBINS

I have never ever Googled myself; in fact I think the Christian right prohibits such things.
TOM ROBBINS

Three of the four elements are shared by all creatures, but fire was a gift to humans alone. Smoking...
TOM ROBBINS

I would only read the novels that people classify as 'beach books' if I were being held pris...
TOM ROBBINS

I eat so much mayonnaise they were going to send me to the Mayo Clinic.
TOM ROBBINS

Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and ...
TOM ROBBINS

One of my books is a hallucinogen, an aphrodisiac, a mood elevator, an intellectual garage door open...
TOM ROBBINS

I show up in my writing room at approximately 10 A.M. every morning without fail. Sometimes my muse ...
TOM ROBBINS

In Seattle, I soon found that my radical ideas and aesthetic explorations - ideas and explorations t...
TOM ROBBINS

We use so much bad language that it forms a barrier between ourselves and the truth.
TOM ROBBINS

The harsh truth is, most red-haired men look like blondes who've spoiled from lack of refrigerat...
TOM ROBBINS

True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced. A truly stable system...
TOM ROBBINS

There is no such thing as a weird human being, It's just that some people require more understanding...
TOM ROBBINS

When she was a small girl, Amanda hid a ticking clock in an old, rotten tree trunk. It drove woodpec...
TOM ROBBINS

...to emphasize the afterlife is to deny life. To concentrate on Heaven is to create hell. In their ...
TOM ROBBINS

The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only ...
TOM ROBBINS

People aren't trees, so it is false when they speak of roots.
TOM ROBBINS

Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself or not.
Tom Robbi...
TOM ROBBINS

I think science has begun to demonstrate that aging is a disease. If it is, it can be cured.
TOM ROBBINS

In fiction, when you paint yourself into a corner, you can write a pair of suction cups onto the bot...
TOM ROBBINS

When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. And you get to take yourself oh ...
TOM ROBBINS

White folks have controlled New Orleans with money and guns, black folks have controlled it with mag...
TOM ROBBINS

One tended to lose one’s bearings in the presence of willful and persistent acts of craziness, and...
TOM ROBBINS

Well, Daddy, I used to believe that artists went crazy in the process of creating the beautiful work...
TOM ROBBINS

The one thing emphasized in any creative writing course is 'write what you know,' and that a...
TOM ROBBINS

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.
TOM ROBBINS

The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being.
TOM ROBBINS

A child's mind is its living room; it's going to be residing there for the rest of its earth...
TOM ROBBINS

The sky was the color of Edgar Allan Poe's pajamas.
TOM ROBBINS

I went to a large consolidated school in Appalachia. And I wrote the story when I was in the second ...
TOM ROBBINS

Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when th...
TOM ROBBINS

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in tryi...
TOM ROBBINS

Life isn't stable. Stability is unnatural. The only stable society is the police state. You can have...
TOM ROBBINS

The narrow, no-nonsense skeptic is every bit as naive as the breezy-brained New Age believer.
TOM ROBBINS

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.
TOM ROBBINS

When I sit down to write, I just let the goose out of the bottle.
TOM ROBBINS

The trouble with the fast lane is that all the movement is horizontal. And I like to go vertical som...
TOM ROBBINS

We've got something for just about everyone. I think our horsemen and our fans are going to be tickl...
TOM ROBBINS

It is easier to play around with a man's wife than with his cliches.
TOM ROBBINS

The Friendship Center has brought together a lot of couples.
TOM ROBBINS

Ideas are mallable and unstable; they not only can be misused, they invite misuse---and the better t...
TOM ROBBINS

Wild Ducks Flying Backward.
TOM ROBBINS

In order to be respected, authority has got to be respectable.
TOM ROBBINS

We're proposing some stakes increases and more significant increases than the prior year. If the TOC...
TOM ROBBINS

Equality is not in regarding different things similarly, equality is in regarding different things d...
TOM ROBBINS

The best kisses, though, are those between lovers, because those are the consequential ones, the ris...
TOM ROBBINS

To some extent, Seattle remains a frontier metropolis, a place where people can experiment with thei...
TOM ROBBINS

Are you aware that rushing toward a goal is a sublimated death wish? It's no coincidence we call the...
TOM ROBBINS

In times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings--arti...
TOM ROBBINS

I'm not infatuated with frivolousness. We're just good friends.
TOM ROBBINS

The trickster's function is to break taboos, create mischief, stir things up. In the end, the tr...
TOM ROBBINS

Most Americans pay lip service to the idea of freedom, but can't handle real freedom.
TOM ROBBINS

Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.
TOM ROBBINS

People write memoirs because they lack the imagination to make things up.
TOM ROBBINS

Suppose neutral angels were able to talk, Yahweh and Lucifer – God and Satan, to use their popular...
TOM ROBBINS

When I go to the shore, I take along the poems of Pablo Neruda. I suppose it's because the poems...
TOM ROBBINS

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak.
TOM ROBBINS

Jerusalem was capital of southern Israel, known then as Judah. Isn't it true that there's always a r...
TOM ROBBINS

Modern Romans insisted that there was only one god, a notion that struck Alobar as comically simplis...
TOM ROBBINS

Often, moreover, it is...that aspect of our being that society finds eccentric, ridiculous, or disag...
TOM ROBBINS

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans.
TOM ROBBINS

The enemy of the black is not the white. The enemy of capitalist is not communist, the enemy of homo...
TOM ROBBINS

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have y...
TOM ROBBINS

Our world isn't made of earth, air and water or even molecules and atoms; our world is made of l...
TOM ROBBINS

Well, I believe life is a Zen koan, that is, an unsolvable riddle. But the contemplation of that rid...
TOM ROBBINS

If every time we choose a turd, society, at a great expense, simply allows us to redeem it for a pep...
TOM ROBBINS

Our greatest human adventure is the evolution of consciousness. We are in this life to enlarge the s...
TOM ROBBINS

Madame Lily Devalier always asked "Where are you?" in a way that insinuated that there were only two...
TOM ROBBINS

Louisiana in September was like an obscene phone call from nature. The air--moist, sultry, secretive...
TOM ROBBINS

He was becoming unstuck, he was sure of that - his bones were no longer wrapped in flesh but in clou...
TOM ROBBINS

There is a comfort in conformity, a security in control, that is appealing. There is a thrill in dom...
TOM ROBBINS

salvation is for the feeble, that's what I think. I don't want salvation, I want life, all of life, ...
TOM ROBBINS

Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?
TOM ROBBINS

The word desire suggests that there is something we do not have. If we have everything already, then...
TOM ROBBINS

When we accept small wonders, we qualify ourselves to imagine great wonders.
TOM ROBBINS

The rich are the most discriminated-against minority in the world. Openly or covertly, everybody hat...
TOM ROBBINS

Should you fail to pilot your own ship, don't be surprised at what inappropriate port you find yours...
TOM ROBBINS

Meet me in Cognito, baby. In Cognito, we'll have nothing to hide.
TOM ROBBINS

Louisiana in September was like an obscene phone call from nature. The air - moist, sultry, secretiv...
TOM ROBBINS

There is plenty of misery in the world, all right, but there is ample pleasure, as well. If a person...
TOM ROBBINS

Perhaps the most terrible (or wonderful) thing that can happen to an imaginative youth, aside from t...
TOM ROBBINS

Philosophers have argued for centuries about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, but mat...
TOM ROBBINS

The only bubble in the flat champagne of February is Valentine’s Day. It was no accident that our ...
TOM ROBBINS

It is better to be small, colorful, sexy, careless, and peaceful, like the flowers, than large, cons...
TOM ROBBINS

Hold on to your divine blush, your innate rosy magic, or end up brown. Once you're brown, you'll fin...
TOM ROBBINS

Christianity is merely a system for turning priestesses into handmaidens, queens into concubines, an...
TOM ROBBINS

Breathe properly. Stay curious. And eat your beets.
TOM ROBBINS

It is better to be small, colorful, sexy, careless, and peaceful...
TOM ROBBINS

If you lack the iron and the fuzz to take control of your own life, if you insist on leaving your fa...
TOM ROBBINS

To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
TOM ROBBINS

To diminish the worth of women, men had to diminish the worth of the moon. They had to drive a wedge...
TOM ROBBINS

The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire o...
TOM ROBBINS

Our individuality is all, all, that we have. There are those who barter it for security, those who r...
TOM ROBBINS

A sense of humor...is superior to any religion so far devised.
TOM ROBBINS

The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelli...
TOM ROBBINS

Hitchhiking is not a sport. It is not an art. It certainly isn't work, for it requires no particular...
TOM ROBBINS

If a girl wants to grow up to be a cowgirl, she ought to be able to do it, or else this world ain't ...
TOM ROBBINS

Well,' said Can o' Beans, a bit hesitantly,' imprecise speech is one of the major causes of mental i...
TOM ROBBINS

On the right side-panel of the verbose and somewhat tautological box of Cheerios, it is written,
TOM ROBBINS

Who knows how to make love stay?

Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatb...
TOM ROBBINS

The sky was the color of Edgar Allan Poe's pajamas.
TOM ROBBINS

You are a complicated man, but happily complicated. You have found a way to be at home with the worl...
TOM ROBBINS

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it
TOM ROBBINS

Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.
TOM ROBBINS

As unrefined and basic as an animal's emotional equipment may be, it is not insensitive to freedom. ...
TOM ROBBINS

When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing.
TOM ROBBINS

Human folly does not impede the turning of the stars.
TOM ROBBINS

There are people in this world who can wear whale masks and people who cannot, and the wise know to ...
TOM ROBBINS

Beauty! Wasn't that what mattered? Beauty was hardly a popular ideal at that jumpy moment in history...
TOM ROBBINS

Death is impatient and thoughtless. It barges into your room when you are right in the middle of som...
TOM ROBBINS

I believe in political solutions to political problems. But man's primary problems aren't political;...
TOM ROBBINS

Those who possess wisdom cannot just ladle it out to every wantwit and jackanapes who comes along an...
TOM ROBBINS

Perhaps that is why desire causes men calamity. By identifying with our desires and taking them too ...
TOM ROBBINS

After the monkeys came down from the trees and learned to hurl sharp objects, they had had to move i...
TOM ROBBINS

I mean that gods do not limit men. Men limit men.
TOM ROBBINS

The Divine was beyond description, beyond knowing, beyond comprehension. To say that the Divine was ...
TOM ROBBINS

The Divine was expansive, but religion was reductive. Religion attempted to reduce the Divine to a k...
TOM ROBBINS

It is more important to be free than to be happy.
TOM ROBBINS

We're making it up. The world, the universe, life, reality. Especially reality.
TOM ROBBINS

Our lives are not as limited as we think they are; the world is a wonderfully weird place; consensua...
TOM ROBBINS

Religion is nothing but institutionalized mysticism. The catch is, mysticism does not lend itself to...
TOM ROBBINS

If New Orleans is not fully in the mainstream of culture, neither is it fully in the mainstream of t...
TOM ROBBINS

Bones are patient. Bones never tire nor do they run away. When you come upon a man who has been dead...
TOM ROBBINS

Cries for help are frequently inaudible.
TOM ROBBINS

As long as a population can be induced to believe in a supernatural hereafter, it can be oppressed a...
TOM ROBBINS

...ideas are definitely unstable, they not only CAN be misused, they invite misuse--and the better t...
TOM ROBBINS

If desire causes suffering, it may be because we do not desire wisely, or that we are inexpert at ob...
TOM ROBBINS

There is evidence that the honoree [Leonard Cohen] might be privy to the secret of the universe, whi...
TOM ROBBINS

We modern human beings are looking at life, trying to make some sense of it; observing a 'reality' t...
TOM ROBBINS

Very well. He'd lighten up. As a matter of fact, he felt as light as the bubbly froth that flew from...
TOM ROBBINS

They accepted my donation, so they're aware they'd better serve my interests or I'll buy some leader...
TOM ROBBINS

Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence.
TOM ROBBINS

The international situation is desperate, as usual.
TOM ROBBINS

Beware the man who considers kissing as nothing more than duty, a sop to the "weaker" sex, an annoyi...
TOM ROBBINS

The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplacable being.
TOM ROBBINS

Whining's unattractive, even when your whine sounds like Kenneth Branagh eating frozen strawberries ...
TOM ROBBINS

Human beings were not well served by permanence or stasis. Obviously, if individuals were progressin...
TOM ROBBINS

Now tequila may be the favoured beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential...
TOM ROBBINS

Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign...
TOM ROBBINS

I believe in nothing, everything is sacred. I believe in everything, nothing is sacred.
TOM ROBBINS

Our Similarities bring us to a common ground; Our Differences allow us to be fascinated by each othe...
TOM ROBBINS

There is no such thing as a weird human being, It's just that some people require more understanding...
TOM ROBBINS

If it is committed in the name of God or country, there is no crime so heinous that the public will ...
TOM ROBBINS

It's been a positive thing for us. I think it's excellent.
TOM ROBBINS

What is it that separates human beings from the so-called lower animals? Well, as I see it, its exac...
TOM ROBBINS

Should one be shallow enough to view existence as a system of rewards and punishments, one soon lear...
TOM ROBBINS

We had a lot of young players this season. I thought they have improved over the course of the year....
TOM ROBBINS

There's always the same amount of good luck and bad luck in the world. If one person doesn't get the...
TOM ROBBINS

That's for God sure. People write memoirs because they lack the imagination to make things up.
TOM ROBBINS

Their desperate craving for simplicity sure can create complications. And their pitiful longing for ...
TOM ROBBINS

Who knows how to make love stay?Tell love you are going to the Junior's Deli on Flatbush Avenue in B...
TOM ROBBINS

Logic only gives man what he needs...Magic gives him what he wants.
TOM ROBBINS

The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only ...
TOM ROBBINS

When life demands more of people than they demand of life - as is ordinarily the case - what results...
TOM ROBBINS

To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
TOM ROBBINS

The afternoon passed more slowly than a walnut-sized kidney stone.
TOM ROBBINS

Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef
TOM ROBBINS

Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.
TOM ROBBINS

I've decided to take advantage of outsourcing. My next novel will be written by a couple of guys...
TOM ROBBINS

To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
TOM ROBBINS

On their sofas of spice and feathers, the concubines also slept fretfully. In those days the Earth w...
TOM ROBBINS

The brutal truth is, we're scarcely 'educating' children at all. Even if you overlook th...
TOM ROBBINS

Whether a man is a criminal or a public servant is purely a matter of perspective.
TOM ROBBINS

Alas, Gulietta, this was an American frog of the last quarter of the twentieth century, a time when ...
TOM ROBBINS

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there are two kinds of people in this...
TOM ROBBINS

Conversation between a princess and an outlaw:
"If I stand for fairy-tale balls and dragon bai...
TOM ROBBINS

There are landscapes in which we feel above us not sky but space. Something larger, deeper than sky ...
TOM ROBBINS

If you believe in peace, act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting lovingly; if you believe eve...
TOM ROBBINS

Now tequila may be the favored beverage of outlaws but that doesn't mean it gives them preferential ...
TOM ROBBINS

But why diminish your soul being run-of-the-mill at something? Mediocrity: now there is ugliness for...
TOM ROBBINS

But do we know how to make love stay?'
I can't even think about it. The best I can do is play i...
TOM ROBBINS

Disorder is inherent in stability. Civilized man doesn't understand stability. He's confused it with...
TOM ROBBINS

I am cheerful. I don't know if I'm happy. There is a difference, you know.
TOM ROBBINS

At the typewriter you find out who you are.
TOM ROBBINS

Tom Robbins

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