What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France.

I expect you are wondering why I had not considered the possibility of unemployment. The reason being that my mind had a very different recollection of what unemployed men looked like. The jobless man I remembered from the past went out onto the street with a placard around his neck that read “Looking for any type of work”. When he’d had enough of drifting fruitlessly around in this manner, he would remove the placard, grab a red flag handed to him by a loitering Bolshevist, and return to the street.

You can forget Stalin,” he said, pledging his allegiance. “We’re not the History Channel.

Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-ho,' said his lordship.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, And show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better, You're gonna find, yes you will, That you're beautiful as you feel