What's funny is funny. The same thing that made you laugh a hundred years ago makes you laugh now.


Chevy Chase

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Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
TOM LEHRER
Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, tha...
NORM MACDONALD
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
HORACE WALPOLE
How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's ...
LES DAWSON
That is the best - to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny.
GLORIA VANDERBILT
People wince when something is in bad taste. They laugh when it's funny. If it's too dirty o...
MICHAEL PATRICK KING
We laugh at our stories now, but it wasn't funny five and six months ago.
ALEXIS DEBRAM
Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.
TAYLOR HAWKINS
I have this weird obsession with kids and old people falling. Like, funny falls. It is awful, but it...
MALIN AKERMAN
Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it.
LEWIS CARROLL
I think funny is just the foundation. I don't really think, to some extent, funny is the absolut...
ROBERT MANKOFF
When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We ...
MITCHELL HURWITZ
Not everything is funny or will make you laugh...but what a worthy goal to have.
BOBBY DARNELL
There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you...
JEFF GARLIN
If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possi...
MAYA ANGELOU
The word 'Spanx' was funny. It made people laugh. No one ever forgot it.
SARA BLAKELY
They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room fo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilario...
CAITLIN HALE
If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them an...
BILL COSBY
It's grueling never knowing if the audience is going to think you're funny. It's soul-de...
VINCE VAUGHN
If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are goi...
LEO HOWARD
It's funny, the hardest thing to do is to make something look like it's fast, loose and impr...
ABEL FERRARA
I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's ...
DYLAN MORAN
The only thing that I don't like is my kids watching comedy that isn't actually funny. There...
STEPHEN COLBERT
Life is never all one thing. It bounces around. Certainly, my own life has. Look at Woody Allen'...
TIM O'BRIEN
Anyone can make people laugh with a good joke but a truly funny person will make you laugh telling a...
DANIEL GRAVES
With drama, you know if you're having a true moment, but in comedy, if somebody doesn't laug...
BROOKE NEVIN
Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was ...
MILTON BERLE
Love is what makes you want to cry and laugh at the same time.
VALERIE ROSE STERRETT
Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.
JAMES LIPTON
You laugh when I haven't been funny and you answer right off. You never stop to think what
I've...
RAY BRADBURY
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find ...
J. K. ROWLING
I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And t...
CARROT TOP
The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' ...
RON WHITE
What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.
BRUCE VILANCH
When you're a woman, you have to work harder to get a laugh... I follow so many hilarious women ...
RAINBOW ROWELL
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's j...
ELLEN DEGENERES
Life is so funny, that you can't even laugh logically. Logically the tears should follow the laughte...
EMRON MUSAVI
A comic strip that your parents read when they were young is a curious thing: it's an heirloom, ...
ELIZABETH MCCRACKEN
I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
Being funny has always mattered a lot to me. It's why I started acting - to make my friends laug...
NICK WECHSLER
(Brittany) is real funny, loud and outgoing. She can make you laugh to get you in a good mood for yo...
MALLORY VOELKER
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
GEORGE BURNS
I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny becau...
GREG BEHRENDT
It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch line...
STEVE BREEN
They were always funny, ... She could always make me laugh.
AMY WILSON
It's funny: most people who recognize me on the subway and stuff - it's much more they think...
PAUL GIAMATTI
Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a ban...
SHAH RUKH KHAN
We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny...
J. K. ROWLING
You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but...
COLIN QUINN
You know, the funny thing about Lorne and that show is that, you can go over one million things, but...
COLIN QUINN
Honestly, I like someone who is really grounded, super sweet, honest. I need them to have a sense of...
CASPER SMART
I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.
CHEVY CHASE
One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn't it?
TOM BAKER
Right from the beginning, ... he said, 'You should do all your routines in that voice.' And I said, ...
DON ADAMS
We make everything funny, you wouldn't believe the things we laugh at. We're always laughing-people ...
EMMA BUNTON
One of the fun things about unreliable narrators is they can be funny. You can admire things about t...
HANYA YANAGIHARA
I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I&#...
AMY SCHUMER
When I play a game, I want to play, not necessarily laugh. If you try to make me laugh at the expens...
DOUG TENNAPEL
Often when you are starting out in comedy, you will find that people will laugh at the things you di...
NATASHA LEGGERO
Since 1890, the Tour d'Argent's basic recipe hasn't changed. If you find yourself at the...
BILL BUFORD
That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him ...
ALAN VEGA
I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he&...
NORM MACDONALD
I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts... because its the only thing that'll m...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN
To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, a...
ERIC IDLE
The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.
CARL REINER
The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh
CARL REINER
Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I l...
T. J. MILLER
I write funny. If I can make my wife laugh, I know I'm on the right track.
GENE WILDER
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hosta...
JACK HANDY
I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in th...
JULIE BROWN
I get called 'the girl off the dancing horse.' I just laugh; I think it's really funny. ...
CHARLOTTE DUJARDIN
Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to supp...
DOUGLAS ADAMS
They are not all friends who laugh with you.
PROVERB
It’s a funny thing coming home. Nothing changes. Everything looks the same, feels the same, even s...
ERIC ROTH
It's funny to have become an elegant skier now. But my drive is still the same.
HERMANN MAIER
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh beca...
PAULA DEEN
I really don't know what makes a comedian. I think it's a family background and environment....
BOB NEWHART
The thing that's funny is that everyone thinks I'm dead.
CHARLES NELSON REILLY
Cool is the enemy of funny. You can't be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy c...
TRACY MORGAN
Five years from now you will either laugh at these times or tear but you will remember what you did.
TROY GATHERS
To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funn...
CATHERINE O'HARA
I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to lau...
CAROL BURNETT
Fashion is a funny thing to talk about. I think what you wear is definitely an extension of you, but...
TESSA THOMPSON
Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh e...
JOANNE WOODWARD
If I find something funny and make an older woman laugh, I love that for some reason.
NATHAN FIELDER
You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's wh...
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER
It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead, you're made for life.
JIMI HENDRIX
The original 'Caddyshack' with Chevy Chase and Bill Murray is one of the best comedies ever ...
JONATHAN SILVERMAN
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laug...
W. C. FIELDS
I think God has a sense of humor, and the way my lessons come from God is very funny. I have to laug...
YVETTE NICOLE BROWN
I don't have a desire to do reality. Because my truth is not what people are responding to. My t...
NIECY NASH
There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothi...
J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI
I always laugh the hardest at the stuff you see in day-to-day life. It's great when somebody can...
LUKE WILSON
I don't think you can teach people how to be funny. You can make suggestions about how to speak ...
GEORGE CUKOR
There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connec...
CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
When I was a kid, I was a fan of comedy. I always loved Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, and ...
WILL ARNETT
I love the stuff that makes you laugh and cry. It kind of sucker-punches you a little bit. That'...
MATT MCGORRY
He didn't laugh when he thought something was funny--he laughed when he was happy.
RAINBOW ROWELL
I think my funny books are my favorites because I like to laugh so much.
DAV PILKEY

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Avoid fatty foods, Bensonhurst, and hair care products.
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It was pretty clear that I was a funny guy, just as a guy.
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Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.
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Laughter kills lonesome. It's one of the great things in our lives.
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I've been too funny in my life to have to play a character who's... moderately funny.
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Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.
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My office became a meeting place where people could come in and talk. One percent of my customers we...
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I kept giving her donkey ears.
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Are you who I think you are?
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The wireless industry needs to think about what to do about wireless vice before government decides ...
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This guy in office is an uneducated, real lying schmuck . . . and we still couldn't beat him with a ...
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Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.
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The BlackBerry is arguably the best wireless e-mail device in the world,
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Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma,
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All preconceptions when you laugh go out the window. Laughter kills it.
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Yes, I've seen Louis CK. I wouldn't in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but t...
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Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how ...
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To me, talk shows are those things during the middle of the afternoon where the underbelly of societ...
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Chaplin was my idol. I remember watching those movies at this little theater in Woodstock, N.Y., whe...
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All those car battles with my brother Ned were excellent training. Even now, on the set, if we'r...
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Each day when I'm walking with my dog through the damp forest, I'm thinking about the atmosp...
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It feels wonderful to get praise from other authors who I admire, but with each new book, my confide...
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All generalizations are false, including this one.
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Religion is of general and public concern, and on its support depend, in great measure, the peace an...
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Summon me, then; I will be the posse comitatus; I will take them to jail.
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By our form of government, the Christian religion is the established religion; and all sects and den...
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America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man.
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Among famous traitors of history one might mention the weather.
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The jury has the right to determine both the law and the facts.
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Attitude is your acceptance of the natural laws, or your rejection of the natural laws.
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George Clooney had the web of celebrity from television and doing 'ER,' and he's able to...
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'Saving Grace,' even though fictionally it was set in Oklahoma, we shot it right outside of ...
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I had grand visions of being in professional sports. But when reality set in, I went, 'Oh, OK. I...
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A soft refusal is not always taken, but a rude one is immediately believed
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To understand is to forgive, even oneself.
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To attempt suicide is a criminal offense. Any man who, of his own will, tries to escape the treadmil...
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The most imaginative people are the most credulous, for them everything is possible
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Psychiatry's chief contribution to philosophy is the discovery that the toilet is the seat of the so...
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Memory is the thing you forget with
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People, like sheep, tend to follow a leader - occasionally in the right direction.
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Without the spice of guilt, sin cannot be fully savored.
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Common sense is what tells us the earth is flat.
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You can’t get a reaction from someone who doesn’t give a shit.
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She talks like you. It’s not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag...
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Memory is the thing you forget with.
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There are few successful adults who were not first successful children.
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The only people who never fail are those who never try.
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The banalities of a great man pass for wit.
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When he said we were trying to make a fool of him, I could only murmur that the Creator had beat us ...
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A shocking occurrence ceases to be shocking when it occurs daily.
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Sanely applied advertising could remake the world.
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By the time the officer got here, they thought it was this monster.
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In considering making changes to your farming practices, state and local crop consultants are a bene...
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Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.
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I smirk. “Yes, you do sweetheart. ...
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I didn't think anyone would ever take it seriously.
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The language is deliberately fuzzy. They want to try to take away any legal recognition for same-sex...
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This will set a precedent. If they get a reduction in their insurance, we'll expect the same thing.
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Componentization would allow AOL to keep its own user interface with its own distinctive branding, c...
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AOL might think about it [providing Internet access] as a profit center. That's not how we think abo...
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Hundreds of people worked on it -- taking customer feedback. We want people to try it and compare it...
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It's unfortunate that a small handful of competitors are using the SPA to wage an anti-Microsoft cam...
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They had a hard time to get the package.
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The rich man may never get into heaven, but the pauper is already serving his term in hell.
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It gives it a flavor and texture that's outrageous.
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Call us or go online. Request a payment arrangement or extension. We can push your due date back or ...
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I'm good at what I do - simple kind of stuff. But I'm a Pete Townsend kind of player. I hit it hard....
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The defense got it out well and I flicked it to Pablo. He read the play beautifully and hit it back ...
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Like China, the Internet is a huge new market. It's up to you to figure out what to do with it. Use ...
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This is a lot of fun. But it's a lot more work than I thought. There's no time to rest.
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We've told them that regardless of what happens, we will still offer them scholarships next year.
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Once the subject matter of rock n' roll changed from cars and pop love songs to songs about real...
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It's kind of hard. Your coaches want you to eat healthy, but with only 15 dollars a day, it's hard t...
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The food situation was very hard.
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You see Michelangelo and Picasso and you read literature. I had some innate inchoate yearning for th...
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One reason Zipcar succeeded was its branding: cool, hip, smart, urban, fun, innovative. Who wouldn&#...
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Neither an assembly line nor a stock market nor an oil well did it, simply what came from one small ...
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Wart hogs should sue for libel. It is a terrible name and they are fine fellows [and] devoted family...
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On the whole, I haven't found men unduly loath to say, "I love you." The real trick is to get them t...
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The only people who never fail are those who never try
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Wart hogs should sue for libel. It is a terrible name and they are fine fellows and devoted family m...
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She's parlayed that into a fan community that far exceeds what her actual work on the show would eng...
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He was just about to move when he felt her kiss his shoulder and his chest. She was curled up agains...
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Slowly he walked into the room. Stalked, actually. That was the primitive side of him, how he felt. ...
SAMANTHA CHASE
Sweetheart, wherever you are, that’s where I’ll be. Forever.
SAMANTHA CHASE
I can’t think of a better way to start my day.”
“Get used to it,” he murmured, right b...
SAMANTHA CHASE
Abby,” he signed.
“Hmm?”
“I have a confession to make.”
“Okay,” she ...
SAMANTHA CHASE
Most men suck at communicating, Abby. Like, they seriously suck at it. I've been married for over th...
SAMANTHA CHASE
Her body was so slim, so… everything. His hands began to twitch with the need to touch her. Wearin...
SAMANTHA CHASE
When the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.
CHRISTOPHER CHASE
Love is the root of all happiness and all sorrow and theres not much in between.
CHASE KITCHENS
Trek has always been noted for having hot women on the show, so the guys tune in for the action and ...
CHASE MASTERSON
If you can't be good, be honest.
PATRICK CHASE
It's definitely unusual. We heard about that from a lot of people. They congratulated us. Usually, y...
CHASE BLACKBURN
To understand is to forgive.
ALEXANDER CHASE
It's pretty self-explanatory. If we play well, we know what our picture is. If we don't play well, w...
CHASE UTLEY
I was on the top step. I had a good feeling.
CHASE UTLEY
We knew Houston had lost today. We wanted to get it, and somehow we did.
CHASE UTLEY
He's the guy that starts everything. He's a big part of our team.
CHASE UTLEY
We have the biggest game of the year [Sunday], and we have to win.
CHASE UTLEY
Any loss like that is devastating. Especially with five games to go.
CHASE UTLEY
We put it to them late in the game, ... It was huge.
CHASE UTLEY
We put it all together, ... We still have three more to go. There's definitely still a shot. Obvious...
CHASE UTLEY
I still don't think we've clicked as an offense. We can still do a better job. We're all going to ge...
CHASE UTLEY
Especially being in the middle of the lineup with Ryan behind me, if I get on base, that could be an...
CHASE UTLEY
Hitting at the top of the order is a good thing. You get more at-bats. I'm excited to see how this d...
CHASE UTLEY
It took us a little while, but we swung the bats well tonight,
CHASE UTLEY
This, ... shows the fire of this team.
CHASE UTLEY
We have to be a little ahead of our usual schedule. Now we're ready to go.
CHASE UTLEY
I'm hearing it from all the guys. I expect to. I deserve it. I would give myself grief. If someone e...
CHASE UTLEY
I could care less if people talk about us or not. We know what we can do here. It's an exciting time...
CHASE UTLEY
We were down in the game by a lot, but we still had that fire. We were rooting for him big time.
CHASE UTLEY
This is a great place to hit. There's a great (hitters') background, and the ball definitely travels...
CHASE UTLEY
It doesn't matter what happened in the past. It's all about the next three days.
CHASE UTLEY