When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.