When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

A man is only as faithful as his options

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

I think I'd be too hard on a boy -- every day, trying to make him a man, getting him ready for white people, ... Girls don't punch each other in the face. Girls are pretty nice to each other, even, like, on a grassroots level.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.