When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'

He woke up this morning and said he was sick. I had him sleep until noon. He was throwing up with a fever. We gave him crackers and water all day.

"Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?