When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.

It seems to me the governor has just discovered we have a border.

One eye is laughing and one eye is crying. And the eye that is crying is because this governor has been invisibly banning gay marriage for the past two or three years while the education has just veered into a meteor crater somewhere.

I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.