When things haven't gone well for you, call in a secretary or a staff man and chew him out. You will sleep better and they will appreciate the attention.

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President.

I report to you that our country is challenged at home and abroad: that it is our will that is being tried and not our strength; our sense of purpose and not our ability to achieve a better America.

I never trust a man unless I've got his pecker in my pocket.

I never trust a man till I've got his pecker in my pocket