When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

Operator, give me the number for 911!

Being popular is the most important thing in the world!

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.