Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an inquest.

We must respect the other fellow's religion,but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating, stealing, getting rich, and whipping servants. But you have to shoot him in the end.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

A survey found that ten percent of those questioned thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife...