With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides,
flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one
end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist
attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of
the Pledge of Allegiance?


Jay Leno

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Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'
JAY LENO
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to...
JAY LENO
In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and th...
JAY LENO
Politics is just show business for ugly people
JAY LENO
President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style dem...
JAY LENO
Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, ...
JAY LENO
John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shu...
JAY LENO
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, ...
JAY LENO
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a we...
JAY LENO
The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' ...
JAY LENO
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of...
JAY LENO
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
JAY LENO
A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, ...
JAY LENO
My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
JAY LENO
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back togethe...
JAY LENO
I was reading in the paper today that Congress wants to replace the dollar bill with a coin. They’...
JAY LENO
Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But t...
JAY LENO
has failed his test of leadership and missed an historic opportunity to stand up for the basic civil...
MARK LENO
Society is strongest when it upholds the basic civil rights of all its citizens, including the right...
MARK LENO
We're an American Legion post, so we're emphasizing the red, white and blue. But we're also using la...
MARK LENO
Ah! What is man? Wherefore does he why? Whence did he whence? Whither is he withering?
DAN LENO
Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all California families will have the same protectio...
MARK LENO
It's a significant accomplishment. It was a thing of beauty,
MARK LENO
He was resolute in his leadership, ... He always said civil rights is civil rights.
MARK LENO
When you set aside all the emotion and hyperbole and drama surrounding this bill, it comes down to s...
MARK LENO
I couldn't do anything but keep going. It says something for being a little bit tenacious,
MARK LENO
We think it'll be tomorrow or Thursday, ... We want to make sure we have a full house of Democrats, ...
MARK LENO
I trust that my colleagues are searching their hearts and reading the constitution as they decide th...
MARK LENO
We are so very close, ... It would be very disappointing for this body not to be able to stand up fo...
MARK LENO
It's just the beginning.
MARK LENO
I think there's a better way to approach many of these issues,
MARK LENO
It's unfortunate for the Republicans to say if we don't see it their way, we're soft on crime or sup...
MARK LENO
No legislative body has ever passed such a measure. It would be historic,
MARK LENO
The Democrats are labeled profligate spenders, but I can guarantee I didn't have one bill with a $15...
MARK LENO
They are considered no different than married couples with regards to responsibility for children,
MARK LENO
No. 1, the crime would not have occurred. And the brutality would not have been (as bad) as it was. ...
MARK LENO
He cannot claim to support fair and equal legal protections for same-sex couples, ... and veto the v...
MARK LENO
Allowing same-sex couples to access one another's health care plans, make joint medical decisions, i...
MARK LENO
The Legislature has done the hard work of picking up the issue of the day, holding public hearings, ...
MARK LENO
The issue doesn't go away, ... Support will only increase. The more the public hears about same-sex ...
MARK LENO
Margita Thompson has said all kinds of things in the past that have proven not to be true, ... I wil...
MARK LENO
It would be highly unusual and a direct insult to the proponents of this bill and the many millions ...
MARK LENO
He cannot veto the bill until it gets to his desk, ... It may not get there for a couple more weeks ...
MARK LENO
[After first ducking the issue on Wednesday, Schwarzenegger surprised lawmakers with his statement.]...
MARK LENO
I believe this is a governor who is a libertarian,
MARK LENO
Today represents another milestone toward the fulfillment of the American dream for thousands of les...
MARK LENO
Do what we know is in our hearts, ... Make sure all Californians, all California's children and fami...
MARK LENO
I believe this is a governor who at his core is a libertarian on issues of social matters, ... and t...
MARK LENO
The moment I started reading, I was no longer in my bedroom, no longer sad, no longer even myself.
KATRINA LENO
It's what everybody is waiting for. Everybody is excited about the World Cup and I hope it gets thin...
LENO RIVERA