Women are always dressing in black, but men don't like it. Every time I've taken a man shopping, they buy me pink.

I much prefer being a man. Women have to spend so much time pulling themselves together, and their shoes kill your feet.

...instead of the smoldering, soul-baring, Abelard-to-Heloise-sans-castration solicitations you rightfully deserve, you're getting stupefying lines like: "I'm listening to NPR. Do you want to come over and make out?

The main problem of living in the city that never sleeps that neither did I.

I frantically opened my address book and searched it for someone, anyone, who'd moved me, who'd been good in both bed and brain. No. A slew of the so-so.

I was becoming convinced that I was going to be lonely for the rest of my life. It wasn't that I wasn't meeting men. I was. It was just that they all drove me crazy.