You can’t selectively numb your anger, any more than you can turn off all lights in a room, and still expect to see the light.

Why would you ever premedicate honesty? To hesitate is to overthink how you feel. A blurted out answer is usually the most genuine.

Getting on with her life is important. But right now it may be more important to put the feelings out there, deal with them, and find a way to be okay with all that's happened.

Shed the tears.
Shed the blame and guilt too.
So that your heart mends and heals.

If the parent represses the girl's anger not just once but over and over again, a deeper injury occurs: the girl will eventually dismantle her anger response. Ultimately, it's safer for her to cut off a part of her being than to battle the person on whom her life depends.

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.