You have to motivate yourself with challenges. That's how you know you're still alive.

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic - you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. Online, you're a guest in someone's face. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face.

I kind of thought that stand-up comedy would suffer from the Internet because people seem to know more about the craft of stand-up than ever before. I thought it would seem trite. Kind of like if you know more about magicians, you wouldn't love them.