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You know, at parties, people always ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi!


Emo Philips

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People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alib...
EMO PHILIPS People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.
EMO PHILIPS In America, people of a certain age ask, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' In my house...
MARISHA PESSL People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
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ANNIE POTTS People ask me about my limp. I say, 'You know, I don't know how bad it is, because I don'...
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DYLAN WALSH If you're having a down time at school and people are bullying you, they don't know you. The...
MAISIE WILLIAMS Well, you don't get to do things that other children get to do, having friends and slumber parti...
MICHAEL JACKSON Twasn't me, 'twas the Lord! I always told Him, 'I trust to you. I don't know where t...
HARRIET TUBMAN We don't really know who killed Martin Luther King. We don't really know who killed Bobby Ke...
CYNTHIA MCKINNEY I don't like gurus. I don't like people who ask you to follow or believe. I like people who ...
A. S. BYATT When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that...
BILL PARCELLS Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill
ROLAND SMITH When I was 12, I was taking batting practice with an aluminum bat at Tiger Stadium. I don't know...
PRINCE FIELDER I don't have any hobbies. You know, I'm very embarrassed when people ask me what are my hobb...
IRWIN ROSE If you don't have a father, you don't miss it, because you don't know what it is. It was...
GLORIA VANDERBILT About f-f-ace!" she said to the horse, flailing with her boots. "Into the barn, please. It's time fo...
PETER LERANGIS You see?" Damien leaned over his desk and spread out half a dozen charcoal sketches. "These are only...
RICK RIORDAN People ask me, 'Don't you ever run out of ideas?' Well, on the first place, I don't ...
ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG It's always fun teasing the person. When they ask if I'm gay, I say, 'Oh, I don't kn...
ADAM GARCIA Horror films have always been quite operatic for me. I always sort of scratch my head at people'...
BRYAN FULLER When people say, 'You have Alzheimer's,' you have no idea what Alzheimer's is. You k...
NANCY REAGAN Growing up, I've had plenty of obstacles, but to be honest, I didn't always have doubters. I...
ROMAN REIGNS This thing with everyone knowing you, it's weird, because people have this one-sided relationshi...
ROBERT PATTINSON People always ask, 'Man, why don't you come out and enjoy it? Why don't you celebrate? W...
J. J. WATT I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It's funny - people ask me that, and I don...
MACKENZIE ROSMAN Where I am, I don't know, I'll never know, in the silence you don't know, you must go on...
SAMUEL BECKETT Normally, most writers don't say, 'I'm going into a mild hypnotic trance.' Typically...
MADISON SMARTT BELL If you don't ask, you don't get.
STEVIE WONDER It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON I was blessed with blonde hair and a baby face - well, I don't know if you'd call that bless...
CLAY MATTHEWS III Actually, I don't even like parties. I would much prefer a room with four friends who sit around...
SALMAN RUSHDIE I always have melodies flowing in my head - whether I'm just at home, at the mall, at a restaura...
MANIKA I don't feel unlucky in love anymore, and it's not all emo. It's a scary place to be in ...
JENNY LEWIS You know when you become friends with someone, you don't even remember? When you weren't fri...
ALBERT HAMMOND, JR. It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't li...
JULIA ROBERTS Don't speak evil of someone if you don't know for certain, and if you do know ask yourself, ...
JOHANN KASPAR LAVATER When people visit me at autograph conventions and signings, they always say, 'You just don't...
BETSY PALMER I have great respect for the past. If you don't know where you've come from, you don't k...
MAYA ANGELOU When the going gets tough, I'm not always sure what you do. I'm not saying that I know how t...
JOHN MADDEN When you're happy you don't always have to be laughing, and when you're sad you don'...
FREDDIE HIGHMORE Sometimes you ask God for something and you don't know what you're asking.
MAHALIA JACKSON I think it would collapse my heart if I was super famous. I don't have the nerve for it, I'm...
BO BURNHAM It is troublesome sometimes when people get up in your face in public, you know? And say, 'How c...
SHEPARD SMITH When I meet other parents and they're more 'mumsy' than I am - you know, I don't wan...
CECILY VON ZIEGESAR Why should I talk to you? I don't know where you're from.
AL DAVIS The thing that drives me crazy is when comics say 'I have low self-esteem.' No you don't...
COLIN QUINN When you don't have much money, you worry that they'll just put you in the ground someplace ...
B. B. KING It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON If my grandchildren were to look at me and say, 'You were aware species were disappearing and yo...
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH When you're a guest star on a movie or a TV show, I always say it's like being invited to a ...
ATO ESSANDOH There are also always those burnt, hard kernels at the bottom that don't pop. You know why they ...
MARC MARON When you have real power you don't threaten. People know what your capabilities are.
DENNIS KUCINICH There have been times where I've said, 'Jesus, I don't believe in you anymore, get out o...
MIKE YACONELLI I can tell you where I was when Kennedy was shot - which was in the common room at school. I heard a...
SAM NEILL I've always slightly envied other actors I know who have different reputations. I think, 'Go...
MARTIN FREEMAN Sometimes you just wonder whether people just don't have the sensitivity or decency. I'm a m...
KARAN JOHAR I was weird right from the start. It's just that you can't ever expect people to get you. An...
HELENA BONHAM CARTER People always say, and my family has said it to me, that you know who your real friends are when you...
LADAINIAN TOMLINSON Young people, even in Hollywood, ask me, 'Were you really married to Humphrey Bogart?' '...
LAUREN BACALL And you know, I hate to admit this, but I don't always think in terms of Shakespeare. When I eat...
LIEV SCHREIBER You wanna know what scares people? Success. When you don't make moves and when you don't cli...
NICKI MINAJ I always felt like I was kind of an outsider because I didn't have the right things. I didn'...
LEAH REMINI So many times, when you're doing a job, you feel like you're a nuisance at times to people, ...
CRAIG SAGER I've got a few ideas," (Amy) admitted. "But I don't know where we're going in the long term. I mean ...
RICK RIORDAN I didn't know Jack Kennedy that well, but Bobby was a hero to me.
D. A. PENNEBAKER You know, I was at CBS News for 28 years. I may have run an unidentified source. Frankly, I don'...
BERNARD GOLDBERG I, of course, was born as if I was a movie star in my head. Even though I had nothing, in my head I ...
KARAN JOHAR The thing is: I was quite slow when I was younger. I might have been smart - I don't know - but ...
BENJAMIN CLEMENTINE Certain kinds of people will always have an issue with my music. But that's fine; it's OK. I...
KACEY MUSGRAVES I don't know what I am. I guess you can call me a character actor in the sense that I'll nev...
JENNIFER COOLIDGE I've heard people say, 'Why do you have to do a show that's called 'Black Girls Rock...
TRACEE ELLIS ROSS Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is...
GARRY SHANDLING People my age don't always know where their music comes from.
ISAAC HANSON My father had always called me Sam since the day I was born. He rarely ever called me Tiger. I would...
TIGER WOODS I have never gone out of fashion. And do you know why? Because I never sought it. When you don't...
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MARJANE SATRAPI When I sang, I couldn't help making those little curves. People would say, 'Why don't yo...
AARON NEVILLE Nowadays, people don't ask you how you are, they say, 'Are you busy?' meaning, 'Are ...
JO ANN DAVIS People ask me what it's like to be tall, and I don't know what to say because I don't kn...
ELIZABETH DEBICKI When people ask where I studied to be an ambassador, I say my neighborhood and my school. I've t...
ANDREW YOUNG When you're young, you don't know what you don't know, so it's easier to get into th...
GREG RUSEDSKI When you start a scene, and you don't really know where you're going to go, that's a rol...
MARION COTILLARD I've lived an amazing life. There's no reason to focus on the bad. They teach you that in ra...
FRANCESCO QUINN That's what I like about acting. You don't know where you'll be in year.
DAVID WALTON When you look at death, it makes you understand the importance of the moment when you have life and ...
MICKALENE THOMAS Well, a lot of people don't know this about me, but I'm actually shy around people I don'...
AVRIL LAVIGNE When you arrive in L.A. as an Englishman, you might as well be on the moon. People just don't un...
BEN CHAPLIN I don't always think I am right, not by a long shot, but no one stifles me. When I care deeply a...
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
ALFRED ADLER If you don't know where you make your mistakes, that's your worst mistake: not knowing where...
MEEK MILL I knew at an early age I wanted to act. Acting was always easy for me. I don't believe in predes...
MORGAN FREEMAN Alas, I think I am becoming a god.
TITUS Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name.
LUCAN I have a wife, I have sons: all of them hostages given to fate.
LUCAN

More Emo Philips

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EMO PHILIPS People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alib...
EMO PHILIPS I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.&...
EMO PHILIPS Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'
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EMO PHILIPS You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
EMO PHILIPS I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run aroun...
EMO PHILIPS My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' head...
EMO PHILIPS The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of ...
EMO PHILIPS I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.
EMO PHILIPS How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
EMO PHILIPS People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
EMO PHILIPS I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, yo...
EMO PHILIPS I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to ...
EMO PHILIPS You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being span...
EMO PHILIPS Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
EMO PHILIPS Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?
EMO PHILIPS When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping ho...
EMO PHILIPS My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn&#...
EMO PHILIPS A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
EMO PHILIPS I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor wi...
EMO PHILIPS At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second...
EMO PHILIPS I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two...
EMO PHILIPS Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.
EMO PHILIPS New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I sai...
EMO PHILIPS Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because the...
EMO PHILIPS When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of...
EMO PHILIPS Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
EMO PHILIPS Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume ...
EMO PHILIPS My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, w...
EMO PHILIPS When I was a kid, my goodness, corporate America was a bunch of stolid white guys in gray suits tryi...
EMO PHILIPS I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
EMO PHILIPS People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"
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EMO PHILIPS I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, "If y...
EMO PHILIPS My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl...
EMO PHILIPS I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
EMO PHILIPS How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
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EMO PHILIPS I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wa...
EMO PHILIPS I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.
EMO PHILIPS People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.
EMO PHILIPS I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse."
EMO PHILIPS I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
EMO PHILIPS I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your ...
EMO PHILIPS I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run aroun...
EMO PHILIPS My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.
EMO PHILIPS I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving. When brought before the judge, I was asked ...
EMO PHILIPS I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult.
EMO PHILIPS I'm a great lover, I'll bet.
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EMO PHILIPS Friends are like television. Some are like PBS and always asking for money. Others are like the news...
EMO PHILIPS I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.
EMO PHILIPS Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi ...
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EMO PHILLIPS The view on life isn't just change , but time
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EMO PHILLIPS The flowers anew, returning seasons bring! But beauty faded has no second spring.
AMBROSE PHILIPS Studious of ease, and fond of humble things.
AMBROSE PHILIPS Little pains In a due hour employ'd great profit yields.
JOHN PHILIPS Save the Planet...Buy Organic
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KATE PHILIPS My hunch is this is going to be the setting stage for things to come.
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GINA PHILIPS The underlying fundamentals remain decent, but the pessimism is getting higher. The biggest hindranc...
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KATE PHILIPS We hope it doesn't come to that. But, at the end of the day, we cannot put the port (of Philadelphia...
KATE PHILIPS The governor cannot dictate to the commission.
KATE PHILIPS We will not be moving forward. It's disappointing that we couldn't bring this to fruition right now.
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KATE PHILIPS The governor still believes it's appropriate for the federal government to take action but inaction ...
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KATE PHILIPS The governor rarely visits Pittsburgh when he doesn't talk to every third person about the arena.
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HARRY PHILIPS The governor would maintain his position if the bill comes to him.
KATE PHILIPS The believer is not a slave to fashion.

ABU AMEENAH BILAL PHILIPS Busy yourself with what is pleasing to Allah, or Satan will busy you with what displeases Him.
ABU AMEENAH BILAL PHILIPS