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You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.


Ellen DeGeneres

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HARRY YOU When you ASSUME you make an ASS of U and ME
ANURAG RAWAT We had the whole 'when you assume you make an ass out of you and me' speech in school.
JONATHAN MABERRY Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME.
ANONYMOUS You should never assume about someone.
JASON STATHAM Little drops of rain Whisper of the pain Tears of love Lost in the days gone by.
ROBERT PLANT "THANK YOU" Be careful of what you assume, what you assume will become what you consume
CONSTANCE FRIDAY Be careful of what you assume, what you assume often becomes what you consume
CONSTANCE FRIDAY Assume' makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'.
KAREN MARIE MONING Don't assume. It makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me".
DAVID BRENT If you don't know how it works, you shouldn't assume you can fix it.
ELLA MENTALIE Never assume you know where someone else is coming from.
BLAKE CROUCH I celebrate myself, and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to...
WALT WHITMAN The planning fallacy is that you make a plan, which is usually a best-case scenario. Then you assume...
DANIEL KAHNEMAN Never assume that others have understood exactly what you mean.
STEVEN REDHEAD I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom b...
WALT WHITMAN What you are going to do today should assume a bigger shape than what you have done yesterday.
ISRAELMORE AYIVOR When you assume negative intent, you're angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive i...
INDRA NOOYI The worst thing is when people assume you do birthday parties. And it happens all the time.
ALEX KIPP Do not assume that because I am frivolous I am shallow; I don't assume that because you are grave yo...
SYDNEY SMITH Never say i m bored because its not your life thats boring its all you that make it boring!
SUPERNA BATHEJA Pathetic is when you assume the worst, because you are incapable of thinking beyond your own mental ...
EMMA PAUL You can never guess or assume what anyone is going to think.
J. J. ABRAMS What is common sense to us might be exclusive information to others. Never assume that what you know...
TARY C. An education isnt how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. Its being able t...
WILLIAM FEATHER If you assume you are better than someone,
you make yourself relies on that assumption.
TOBA BETA I assume I'm not (going to start), but you never know. Stranger things have happened.
JASON SCHMIDT In a respectful relationship, each person understands, “I am responsible to know what is going on ...
DANNY SILK If you see me on the comics page, you assume total smart-ass, with no regard to the older strips, .....
STEPHAN PASTIS Just because it lays golden eggs doesn't mean you should value everything that comes out of its ass.
CHRISTIAN DEL ROSARIO I assume that to prevent illness in later life, you should never have been born at all.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW Never assume you have everything pegged. Never tweak that last duck, and pat yourself on the back, a...
JAN BERRY Don’t take the high ground and assume you already know what you’ll do. The truth is, when it com...
RICHELLE MEAD You have a problem with me? Let me know, otherwise I'll assume we're cool and that's just awkward.
SIENNA D. When you can assume that your audience holds the same beliefs as you do, you can relax a little and ...
FLANNERY O'CONNOR Given the current situation, where airlines, some of them in bankruptcy, are dropping and changing r...
JOE BRANCATELLI You can't assume that this person is worthless. You can't assume that they were a drug dealer. You c...
ADREINNE YOUNG Keep me rather in this cage, and feed me sparingly, if you dare. Anything that brings me closer to i...
PAULINE RéAGE Assume until you become...
JOHN B. BEJO I celebrate myself, and what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belon...
WALT WHITMAN I think it's reasonable to assume that if you don't test, you won't find out.
CLIFF STEARNS I can only assume," said Jace, "that mortal emotions amuse you because you have none of your own.
CASSANDRA CLARE Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
DAVE BARRY They learn how to make friends. That's something that you just assume everybody knows how to do, but...
ALLY BARNES You can't
assume i'm
in bad shape
just because
i've run out of
the energy t...
CURTIS TYRONE JONES You can assume that every time you make a change to your fulfillment, it's going to get messed up. Y...
ANNE KELLY When you see what happens, you have more of an appreciation of life and how good it really is.
BOB LIBERATORE When you look at the external reality, you may assume you know everything, but when you close your e...
ROSHAN SHARMA If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you
BRUCE LEE assume it 'till you become
JOHN B. BEJO That's the beauty of argument-if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.
, THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, 2006 Oftentimes when you see adaptations of books you like, you're let down. As an author, you assume...
GAYLE FORMAN And if you insist on continuing to make assumptions about my character, I’ll advise you only this:...
TAHEREH MAFI Dont judge me, for i am too complex that you would assume insanity, but in reality i am all what you...
AMIR RIVEROLL No matter how little things are in life, you should always try to do the best you can, because you n...
PATRICIA VELASQUEZ I assume that when you picked up the butcher knife, you were prepared to use it.
STEVE MOTTINGER I never have, not from Day One. You see hits like that every week in the NFL. When you go on the fie...
CHAD CLIFTON It seems to me an indictment of the Republican Party that if you talk about issues of poverty and up...
J. D. VANCE You should also pay attention to what happens to you and make sure you draw correct conclusions
SUNDAY ADELAJA You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates...
ANNE LAMOTT You can't try and make something you think someone else will like. You can only make what you li...
YOLANDI VISSER To be self reliance make your decision, assume your responsibility without any reservation & let you...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA You should never try and out guess Mother Nature because when you do, you come off second best.
ANTHONY T.HINCKS In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we don’...
MIGUEL RUIZ The great thing about not being American is that you don't assume you know what a Southern accen...
CATE BLANCHETT The trouble with the dictionary is that you have to know how a word is spelled before you can look i...
WILL CUPPY That's the poisoned chalice: when you're shy, people assume you're arrogant.
CATHERINE TATE You have to assume that you're talking to the most intelligent, tuned-in audience you could ever...
DYLAN MORAN You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the ...
ANNE LAMOTT Earn a character first if you can. And if you can't, assume one.
MARK TWAIN How can you know what is missing if you’ve never met it? You must know of something’s existence ...
E.L. KONIGSBURG Make hay in May for you may never know what June is coming with and you may never know what July wil...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Write as if you were dying. At the same time, assume you write for an audience consisting solely of ...
ANNIE DILLARD You assume it's a scare but you can never tell. The market will always be nervous to events like thi...
BENJAMIN PEDLEY That's why you end up producing or directing. Because if you don't try to make these stories, you ca...
ANDY GARCIA O masses, o masses! When will you assume the image and likeness of your avant-garde?
ANDREI PLATONOV You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all...
ANNE LAMOTT Because, you know, you're in Utah. And because of its political conservatism, if you can make it...
ROBERT REDFORD It is always incorrect to assume you can know what someone's moral convictions are based on their ph...
STANLEY FISH The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
ADRIEN BRODY It's interesting to me that the questions assume that because I'm Asian-American and Pacific islande...
JEFF CHANG You know what happens when you dream of falling? Sometimes you wake up.
Sometimes the fall kil...
NEIL GAIMAN Always. That is a very big relief because you never know what can happen when you start an event.
AARON LOWE Friend: You quite an oddball, where you from? Mars? Haha. James: I am actually, I assume you're from...
J C A ROWE We all assume that if you're weak and poor, you're never going to win. In fact, the real wor...
MALCOLM GLADWELL Because, you know, you're in Utah. And because of its political conservatism, if you can make it the...
ROBERT REDFORD easier to assume that people have it out for you than to be disappointed when they don’t come thro...
CHRISTINA BAKER KLINE When you're younger, you kind of assume you'll be fine at whatever. Then you get older, and ...
ETHAN COEN Life is a JOURNEY. So. Might as well make it FUN! Assume you won't have a second chance. So...do it ...
LORRIN L. LEE In some sense, when you take a child soldier out of an armed group, you've taken away the identi...
FOREST WHITAKER When you go to an audition, don't hang on to it because no matter how well you feel it went or h...
DANIELA RUAH Happiness happens when you know yourself, your true calling and that you get what you tolerate.
JOHN G AGNO Fame changes everything. When you're well-known, you're expected to be different. Some peopl...
MICHAEL PALIN What I have against M.B.A.s is the assumption that you come out of a two-year program probably never...
HENRY MINTZBERG Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.
THE NIGHTVALE PODCAST You just assume that you have some anan, ana, ananonimity, anonymity? Yeah, anonimity.
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ELLEN DEGENERES Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not...
ELLEN DEGENERES You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
ELLEN DEGENERES "I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises."
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that...
ELLEN DEGENERES Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I...
ELLEN DEGENERES It's definitely a heterosexual feeling, but it's directed at you.
ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old w...
ELLEN DEGENERES I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from......
ELLEN DEGENERES Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up ...
ELLEN DEGENERES The first house I bought was a little Spanish bungalow on Clinton Street in West Hollywood, right be...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave ...
ELLEN DEGENERES It's not like I grew up playing pranks on people, and I was not that girl in school.
ELLEN DEGENERES I just like observing people - it's something I've done ever since I was a kid, and I got re...
ELLEN DEGENERES Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year...
ELLEN DEGENERES Anne wrote it for me and directed, so I was stuck with it, ... We always got along. It's almost gros...
ELLEN DEGENERES New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected.
ELLEN DEGENERES I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my...
ELLEN DEGENERES In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There w...
ELLEN DEGENERES I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I've started a record label, so I get to nurture new ...
ELLEN DEGENERES I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
ELLEN DEGENERES I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getti...
ELLEN DEGENERES The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime...
ELLEN DEGENERES Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses,...
ELLEN DEGENERES Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slo...
ELLEN DEGENERES Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen ...
ELLEN DEGENERES Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these d...
ELLEN DEGENERES You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She...
ELLEN DEGENERES I would love to have the same rights as everybody else. I would love, I don't care if it's c...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the lov...
ELLEN DEGENERES I say always follow your passion, no matter what, because even if it's not the same financial su...
ELLEN DEGENERES There would be nothing to get me to run for president. I don't even understand how anyone would ...
ELLEN DEGENERES