Dan Castellaneta quote: "You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!"

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right...
DAN CASTELLANETA

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditio...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
DAN CASTELLANETA

It is better to watch things then to do them.
DAN CASTELLANETA

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was a very unique episode, si...
DAN CASTELLANETA

The voice doesn't take a lot of effort now, but in the beginning it was hard to try to find a vo...
DAN CASTELLANETA

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan of it.
DAN CASTELLANETA

The Simpsons can go anywhere in the world and not worry about any budgetary issues. However, even wh...
DAN CASTELLANETA

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's really, really h...
DAN CASTELLANETA

The Simpsons take up so little time that I'm able to do other things as well.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I...
DAN CASTELLANETA

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.
DAN CASTELLANETA

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recogni...
DAN CASTELLANETA

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time, being a cartoon...
DAN CASTELLANETA

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in college. That's on...
DAN CASTELLANETA

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think that Homer is all th...
DAN CASTELLANETA

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I...
DAN CASTELLANETA

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
DAN CASTELLANETA

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
DAN CASTELLANETA

After a day spent staring at a computer monitor, think of (a) book as a kind of screen saver for you...
DAN CASTELLANETA

There are times when the writers ask us to improvise. Sometimes the animators are inspired by what y...
DAN CASTELLANETA

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across to the ani...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?
DAN CASTELLANETA

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I never realized how boring this game was
DAN CASTELLANETA

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the bible.
DAN CASTELLANETA

No! No no no no no no! Well, yes.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work tw...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Operator! Give me the number for 911
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.
DAN CASTELLANETA

The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family
DAN CASTELLANETA

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Bart! With $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like love
DAN CASTELLANETA

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back t...
DAN CASTELLANETA

If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Lord help me, I'm just not that bright.
DAN CASTELLANETA

The strong must protect the Sweet.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
DAN CASTELLANETA

America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Your lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I, many of them incompetent boobs. I know ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be cooking or something?
DAN CASTELLANETA

Life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, co...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?
DAN CASTELLANETA

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!
DAN CASTELLANETA

I have feelings too - like 'My stomach hurts' or 'I'm going crazy!'
DAN CASTELLANETA

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
DAN CASTELLANETA

God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion
DAN CASTELLANETA

Excuse me Doctor, I think I now a little something about medicine
DAN CASTELLANETA

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Numbe...
DAN CASTELLANETA

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than a...
DAN CASTELLANETA

I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is - and it's me.
DAN CASTELLANETA

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents...
DAN CASTELLANETA

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that,...
DAN CASTELLANETA

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with some...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and pres...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
DAN CASTELLANETA

And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.
DAN CASTELLANETA

OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?
DAN CASTELLANETA

No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos
DAN CASTELLANETA

If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to annou...
DAN CASTELLANETA

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.
DAN CASTELLANETA

What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
DAN CASTELLANETA

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marge, what's wrong? Are you hungry? Sleepy? Gassy? Gassy? Is it gas? It's gas, isn't it?
DAN CASTELLANETA

This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
DAN CASTELLANETA

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers.
DAN CASTELLANETA

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just t...
DAN CASTELLANETA

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you win or loose, its how drunk you ge...
DAN CASTELLANETA

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold t...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Don't mess with the dead, boy, they have eerie powers.
DAN CASTELLANETA

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! ...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Flanders: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders
DAN CASTELLANETA

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Ignore the boy, Lord.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Well, I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler. I wanna be a league bowler!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Lets just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV
DAN CASTELLANETA

I won't lie to you, fatherhood isn't easy like motherhood
DAN CASTELLANETA

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
DAN CASTELLANETA

I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Always blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English
DAN CASTELLANETA

Where is Bart, anyway? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten
DAN CASTELLANETA

If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Homer no function beer well without.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Alright Brain...Its all up to you.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?
DAN CASTELLANETA

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
DAN CASTELLANETA

Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing abo...
DAN CASTELLANETA

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.
DAN CASTELLANETA

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy...
DAN CASTELLANETA

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
DAN CASTELLANETA

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman
DAN CASTELLANETA

God bless those pagans.
DAN CASTELLANETA

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
DAN QUAYLE

My advice to young wrestlers is that your surroundings really make a difference. You want to put you...
DAN GABLE

I'm getting married because I'm in love with a girl and want to spend my life with her. You ...
DAN MARINO

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.
DAN QUAYLE

Those market researchers... are playing games with you and me and with this entire country. Their so...
DAN RATHER

There is no doubt that the way journalism worked when I was growing up and getting started has chang...
DAN RATHER

We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We ar...
DAN QUAYLE

We, as a wrestling community, better remember it is more than one individual that makes a winner.
DAN GABLE

When we make progress and get better at something, it is inherently motivating. In order for people ...
DAN PINK

I get bored. We seem to have been having a little bit more time off this winter than last winter. I&...
DAN WHELDON

My childhood dream was to study mechanical engineering. After reading 'The Mysterious Island'...
DAN SHECHTMAN

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be ...
DAN QUAYLE

Bitcoin's got its issues. But it is not competing with perfection.
DAN KAMINSKY

I can only tell you that eggs, country ham, biscuits, a pot of coffee, a morning paper, a table by t...
DAN JENKINS

The key to any good sports story is identifying the defining moment. In football games or a boxing m...
DAN JENKINS

Vijay Singh won a playoff in 2004 at Whistling Straits after a final-round 76, which was the highest...
DAN JENKINS

Look at kids playing with blocks. I think it's in everyone's DNA to want to be a builder.
DAN PHILLIPS

The greatly anticipated 2009 Masters was like going to a Broadway hit and finding out that the star,...
DAN JENKINS

I would never recommend losing on a bye, so that one definitely stays with you.
DAN QUINN

I think I've interviewed probably 1,500 people in my 24-year business career.
DAN GILBERT

I cannot emphasize just how dangerous it is cycling in the city. Especially now. Even though it is a...
DAN HILL

When I'm not running, I cycle about 30 miles a day. I use the biking as cross training. I'm ...
DAN HILL

I think the last thing you want to do as a writer, as a storyteller, is to create indifference. I do...
DAN HILL

When we bemoan the lost golden age of music, it's worth remembering that mainstream radio listen...
DAN HILL

Sling your guitar to wherever you're going, and you'll be amazed by the connective power of ...
DAN HILL

The tricky thing about songwriting is that, more often than not, what you consider to be your best w...
DAN HILL

My dad was one of four children. His three siblings were female, and he loved and protected them.
DAN HILL

One of the things I did to make myself feel better is that I kicked up my running even more. I knew ...
DAN HILL

I did have one bad accident up north near Deerhurst. I was driving back in the winter on these snowy...
DAN HILL

When I was 3 or 4, I seemed to be bursting with music. They played Ella Fitzgerald, Count Basie, Fra...
DAN HILL

With my son, I tried not to be so judgmental and tried not to push him so hard. I didn't want hi...
DAN HILL

I got the big BMW X5, and I didn't like it. It was just too big, and I didn't feel comfortab...
DAN HILL

In Don Mills in the Sixties, nothing comes close to the humiliation of losing an argument. In our we...
DAN HILL

Much as my Boomer friends will hate me for saying this, Kanye West is the New Dylan. Not only do Kan...
DAN HILL

When you think of bike couriers, you think of hyper speed. They get paid by how fast they can drop s...
DAN HILL

Some stresses are unavoidable - it's just part of life. One of the things I do to avoid stress i...
DAN HILL

Songs sometimes are so connected to the sociology of the time.
DAN HILL

Our house is a constant mayhem of music, noise, socializing and business. It vibrates life, as a hou...
DAN HILL

If we don't invest now in so-called priority neighbourhoods with music classes, athletic facilit...
DAN HILL

At 10, I heard Neil Diamond's 'Solitary Man' and it moved me so deeply I stood, frozen i...
DAN HILL

To be sure, boxing has always been, at best, a shady and sometimes cutthroat business, buttressed by...
DAN HILL

I missed my father so much when he died that writing about his life and mine was a way of bringing h...
DAN HILL

I was wired to be intense. I don't think that's ever going to change.
DAN HILL

I don't dictate the solos and I don't dictate the vocal harmonies.
DAN HICKS

I don't think I'd want a revival. I'm not doing a tribute to myself.
DAN HICKS

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: t...
DAN HICKS

There've been periods where I had to convince the audience or win them over.
DAN HICKS

About 10 years ago, I took some vocal lessons. I'll bet that helped. I got a tape of exercises t...
DAN HICKS

There's some pictures of me playing hollow bodies, but I never last long. I always come back to ...
DAN HICKS

I was always looking to record, but how much I actually pursued it was another thing. The major labe...
DAN HICKS

I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'...
DAN HICKS

My stuff was more of a folk coffeehouse thing, with more acoustic guitar, just me doing a single, an...
DAN HICKS

Right now, I'm thinking in terms of just having a good band, man. Having a good act for the stag...
DAN HICKS

There's been a big buzz about the Charlatans in the last couple of years. I've heard the wor...
DAN HICKS

And it really is a good feeling to get up there and make that sound. I'm not stuck in a time war...
DAN HICKS

It's not about retro or modern, it's about this note or that note, which sounds better?
DAN HICKS

When we started off it was all nervous energy and we probably played everything twice as fast as we ...
DAN HAWKINS

We've had a number 1 album in the UK and that was a really big thing for me. So now all we'v...
DAN HAWKINS

We've got a long career ahead of us and it's going to be great. Trust me.
DAN HAWKINS

We're real people and we're a band that's been playing on the scene for a long time. We&...
DAN HAWKINS

We still haven't played Madison Square Garden. That's a benchmark. Something will have gone ...
DAN HAWKINS

There's a lot of people out there who have seen us once somewhere in a pub or heard our songs la...
DAN HAWKINS

The bigger we get, I think the more it's changing things, which is great, but we didn't set ...
DAN HAWKINS

My favorite is still the one that I started off with, which is a Les Paul Standard. I've played ...
DAN HAWKINS

In a strange kind of way I know were really popular and probably the biggest band in the country at ...
DAN HAWKINS

I knew from an early age exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a musician and that was it. It ...
DAN HAWKINS

I can't wait until we get to the stage where we don't have to explain anymore.
DAN HAWKINS

I can't wait to start something up myself that is actually about giving unsigned bands the expos...
DAN HAWKINS

As far as the live shows go, we're not leapfrogging all the smaller venues. We would have bypass...
DAN HAWKINS

After school I moved to London to get involved in music. I took the whole thing very seriously.
DAN HAWKINS

When I need to nail that riff to the cross, Marshall will always provide the hammer!
DAN HAWKINS

You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!

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Dan Castellaneta

You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!

Dan Castellaneta

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