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Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.


Ambrose Bierce

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ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply insert...
AMBROSE BIERCE There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT They should actively participate in the affairs of the international trade union movement and in the...
WANG ZHAOGUO All politics is local, even international politics. That border represents a convenient dividing lin...
DANIEL LUND Let the king who sees ,everything through his spies, discover the two sorts of thieves who deprive o...
GURU NANAK The world is waiting ... for new saints, ecstatic men and women who are so deeply rooted in the love...
HENRI NOUWEN Governments are failing to respond to an emergency appeal. They must put their hands in their pocket...
JO LEADBEATER couples. Their duties done, they had eyes only for each other, locking glances and smiling deeply; t...
JACQUELINE CAREY There's no doubt they deserve their No. 5 ranking. They have a wonderful inside player in George, tw...
PAT SULLIVAN The reality is that no one can be forced to join a union against their will, and a union cannot take...
DAN LIPINSKI But I am convinced that those Jews who stand aside today with a malicious smile and with their hands...
THEODOR HERZL ...I told him a story of two people. Two people who shouldn't have met, and who didn't like each oth...
JOJO MOYES The first birds should hit the continent in two to three weeks. We cannot move separately. We have t...
ABERRA DERESSA I suppose, the natural outgrowth about writing about two friends, it becomes about their friendship,...
ALISON MCGHEE We started a thing called the Global Developmental Alliance -- Secretary [of State Colin] Powell ann...
ANDREW NATSIOS He brings the greatest conflict into the history of mankind. He will come soon to our world just lik...
TOBA BETA So the whole international community should react in the appropriate way in condemning that action a...
VLADISLAV JOVANOVIC Those two have been playing together since third grade. They are a lethal one-two punch. They set ea...
KURT HEMPEN Here is one fact 1 minute to finish the class, 1 day to die, one day behind that fact, one day in th...
DEYTH BANGER He that is conscious of guilt cannot bear the innocence of others: So they will try to reduce all ot...
CHARLES JAMES FOX He that is conscious of guilt cannot bear the innocence of others: So they will try to reduce all o...
CHARLES JAMES FOX We must stress that the euro has been beneficial to the European Union because, otherwise, in this c...
JEAN-PIERRE RAFFARIN True love means two seeds grow separately until they join in Matrimony forever.
SOURCE UNKNOWN Two Trees
A portion of your soul has been
entwined with mine
A gentle kind of togethe...
JANET MILES If such ,persons who are secret thieves, dwell in the realm of a king, they constantly harass his go...
GURU NANAK The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE Two policemen at the scene pulled out their guns and ordered him to halt and to take his hands out o...
AVI SASSON Some people will have to be afraid. Those who plunder the nation, deliver injustice, will have to fe...
NARENDRA MODI It is not the Soviet Union or indeed any other big Powers who need the United Nations for their prot...
DAG HAMMARSKJOLD In all ages the people have honored those who dishonored them. They have worshiped their destroyers;...
ROBERT G. INGERSOLL Each relationship between two persons is absolutely unique. That is why you cannot love two people t...
WILLIAM PAUL YOUNG The Commission has five commissioners from each side, plus three alternates, so all together sixteen...
JOSE RAMOS-HORTA Success is a ladder that can not be climbed with your hands in your pockets.
UNKNOWN Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way...
MARGARET CHO She would be one of those who kneel to their own shadows till feet grow on their knees; then go down...
GEORGE MACDONALD They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their minds, yet they are in tha...
C.S. LEWIS If your bank took bailout money, take your money out of that bank and put it in a credit union. Cred...
MICHAEL MOORE There are two kinds of artists in this world; those that work because the spirit is in them, and the...
ANNA KATHARINE GREEN [These others -- the overwhelming majority of Iraq's people -- have repeatedly given every indicatio...
FOUAD AJAMI There's people coming in who've never done any politics at all, who've never been in a t...
SUSAN GEORGE Marriage is supposed to be a union between two equals who love and support each other, not a master-...
ROBERT THIER I know elderly people who have so lived in their long lives. Today, they find great pleasure in each...
LORETTA YOUNG When the day comes that Tehran can announce its nuclear capability, every shred of international law...
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS For books continue each other, in spite of our habit of judging them separately.
VIRGINIA WOOLF I think for some time we will continue to see these two political groups operating separately, and i...
LOVEMORE MADHUKU The hands of those I meet are dumbly eloquent to me. The touch of some hands is an impertinence. I h...
HELEN KELLER The Union has become an important force of peace in the international arena,
HUANG JU You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl...
TAMMARA WEBBER The cost of college education today is so high that many young people are giving up their dream of g...
BERNIE SANDERS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS Jokes about politics seem to be fair game, as well. Their average age was 25 and that may have a bea...
CHRISTOPHER LEGROW If the union between England and America is a powerful factor in the cause of peace, a new Triple Al...
EDWARD GREY There are two ways to aquire the niceties of life:
1) To produce them or
2) To plunder them. PAUL AMBROISE VALERY She was intimidating and all I could do was sit back on the couch as she paced back and forth, slowl...
IN THE MAKING When two sides who consider each other enemies converge in armed struggle, for the moment they are n...
THOMAS HUYNH All who (like him) have writ ill plays before, For they, like thieves, condemned, are hangman made...
JOHN DRYDEN The interests of the Soviet Union are in controlling highly developed countries and having the benef...
BARBARA AMIEL The greatest thieves are not caught. Not because it’s not known that they are thieves but because ...
BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA You cannot redistribute what you don't have. We deliberately designed some specific social programs,...
ALEJANDRO TOLEDO Many modern people have gone so far in their dependence on others for their feeling of reality that ...
ROLLO MAY The men leaned back on their heels, put their hands in their trousers-pockets, and proclaimed their ...
SINCLAIR LEWIS Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who can...
OGDEN NASH So, the international community are all the countries that are important: the United States definite...
LAKHDAR BRAHIMI Between Countess Nordston and Levin there had been established those relations, not infrequent in so...
LEO TOLSTOY Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman wh...
OGDEN NASH If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever.
FRANCINE RIVERS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS People who have accomplished work worthwhile have had a very high sense of the way to do things. The...
ORISON SWETT MARDEN The belief that politics can be scientific must inevitably produce tyrannies. Politics cannot be a s...
W. H. AUDEN The improving job market in the past few quarters has reinforced consumer confidence both in their o...
AMY LEE Men nearly always follow the tracks made by others and proceed in their affairs by imitation, even t...
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI [The opposition Press] which is in the hands of malecontents who have failed in their career.
KARL OTTO VON SCHONHAUSEN BISMARCK Since the governments are in the pockets of businesses, who's going to control this most powerfu...
ANITA RODDICK The organisers have done a fantastic job all week given the volume of traffic we have in this countr...
GREAT BRITAIN Be an inspiration to others who have a negative outlook on life. Hold their hands and guide them tow...
VIKRANT PARSAI We live in a place that has so many unanswered questions. Why did Allison victimize this man? Why di...
ANNETTE AYERS I realized my hands were in my pockets. He couldn't hold one even if he wanted to. Not unless he act...
ELISE ALLEN We want the Japanese-American alliance to be a global alliance that will contribute to the peace and...
THOMAS SCHIEFFER A wondrous subtle thing is love, for here were we two, who had never seen each other before that day...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE People losing each other, their hands slipping loose in a crowd.
JANET FITCH And who is more unjust than he who is reminded of the communications of his Lord, then he turns away...
QURAN It does not seem to me that the steps which would be needed to make Britain - and others - more comf...
DAVID CAMERON We clasp the hands of those that go before us, And the hands of those who come after us. We enter th...
WENDELL BERRY for their efforts to diminish the part played by nuclear arms in international politics and, in the ...
JOSEPH ROTBLAT I believe something very deeply. That Britain's national interest is best served in a flexible, ...
DAVID CAMERON War is a quarrel between two thieves too cowardly to fight their own battle.
THOMAS CARLYLE Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER Mr. Ruebhausen was a man who was deeply interested in social justice, who wanted to make the Yale La...
DAVID ROBINSON On ladies' nights they watch frozen-faced while their men embrace and fool about commenting to each ...
GERMAINE GREER One bush, they say, can never hide two thieves
ARISTOPHANES The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their...
LYSANDER SPOONER Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings.
JEAN DE LA BRUYERE Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings.
JEAN DE LA BRUYèRE Two persons cannot long be friends if they cannot forgive each other's little failings
JEAN DE LA BRUYERE Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of g...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA There are two ways to get rid of thorns and wicked persons; using footwear in the first case and in ...
CHANAKYA Who would have thought that in the 1950s, Burbank was a hotbed of international espionage?
ANNIE JACOBSEN They say you cannot love two people equally at once,” she said. “And perhaps for others that is ...
CASSANDRA CLARE

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE