Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

That's 11 babies in a few months.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, _Homo ventrambulans_.