Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.

ALLAH, n. The Mahometan Supreme Being, as distinguished from the Christian, Jewish, and so forth.Allah's good laws I faithfully have kept, And ever for the sins of man have wept; And sometimes kneeling in the temple I Have reverently crossed my hands and slept. --Junker Barlow

TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy. Moses Mendlessohn having fallen ill sent for a Christian physician, who at once diagnosed the philosopher's disorder as trichinosis, but tactfully gave it another name. "You need and immediate change of diet," he said; "you must eat six ounces of pork every other day.""Pork?" shrieked the patient --"pork? Nothing shall induce me to touch it!""Do you mean that?" the doctor gravely asked."I swear it!""Good! --then I will undertake to cure you."

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.