Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
Ambrose Bierce
Related Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is giv... AMBROSE BIERCE From 40 to 60 percent of the presidential office is not in administration but in morals, politics, a... WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ... J.J. MCAVOY The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �... VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT Rockefeller College is one of the premier places in the country to study politics, governance, polic... FRANK THOMPSON To have the time to reminisce is one of the futures gifts. Don't think to much, don't live to fast, ... CALVIN WILSON We are the masters of our own destinies we shape and mould our lives into to the circumstances surro... GARY F EVANS... I'm fucking the grave, I thought, I'm bringing the dead back to life... CHARLES BUKOWSKI The scientific method gives us
information by testing and repeating observable things so that we
can... LEWIS N. ROE If we have told lies you have told half lies. A man who tells lies merely hides the truth, but a man... THE BRITISH CONSUL. The idea of people who are educated by the state having an obligation to contribute to society is pe... DANIEL WILKINSON A person who longs to leave the place where he lives is an unhappy person. MILAN KUNDERA Only after the last tree has been cut down,only after the last river has been poisoned,only after th... THE CREE PEOPLE Judging by the box-office, local people show a great interest in the festival and have given active ... ALICIA ADAMS Given the record of this administration, 'trust us' is not a safe enough answer for the American peo... FRANCINE BUSBY I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib... C. JOYBELL C. The Obama administration is an affront to every freedom-loving American, and a threat to every priva... RICK PERRY For 40 to 60 percent of the presidential office is not in administration but in morals, politics, an... WILLIAM ALLEN WHITE Every man has a right to one country. He has a right to love and serve that country and to feel that... THEODORE ROOSEVELT This Bible is for the government of the people, by the people and for the people. JOHN WYCLIFFE This prize is given to the person or organization that is leading the country in active and successf... DR. TED BAEHR The Hall of Fame's collections are rich and diverse, given baseball's history and role in helping to... JEFF IDELSON The Hall of Fame's collections are rich and diverse, given baseball's history and role in helping to... JEFF IDELSON George W. Bush: a person who is the ultimate outcome of the American condition. Someone promoted abo... DAVID LANGE His life seemed like a deck of cards, and in the midst of all those two’s and three’s someone ha... TEKOA MANNING Life can be tough & make you wanna give up. But baby keep your head up because you got all the time ... LILLIAN S. VILORIA I want to be financially secure by the time I have kids. CONOR MCGREGOR Were you there?” She shook her head. “No. I was here in Nain having a child.” �... FRANCINE RIVERS In the rough-and-tumble play of politics, dog-whistle messages are copiously dispatched over the hea... ERIK PEVERNAGIE Stop a minute, Ambrose!" interrupted Master Nathaniel. "I've got a sudden silly whim that we should ... HOPE MIRRLEES When looking for evidence that something exists, it's silly
to start by assuming that it is impossib... LEWIS N. ROE Using the scientific knowledge that we
currently possess, we can take simple logical steps, backed b... LEWIS N. ROE Anyone who assumes that this country is standing still is not a good American, or rather, he is an a... SIDNEY BUCHMAN The people's government, made for the people, made by the people, and answerable to the people. DANIEL WEBSTER A businessman needs three umbrellas - one to leave at the office, one to leave at home, and one to l... PAUL DICKSON Congratulations, to the people which made gotham series, still need some more and extra work! DEYTH BANGER What is the cause of historical events? Power. What is power? Power is the sum total of wills transf... LEO TOLSTOY I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious... P. J. O'ROURKE You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace." I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl... TAMMARA WEBBER The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha... FRANCINE RIVERS Many people believe that determining who is 'black' is rather easy, a task simplified by the... RANDALL KENNEDY Once again, we see the Bush administration paying for its failed policies by cutting funds to vital ... CORRINE BROWN Today is about the now, the moment you live in, so do now what you want to do SOTONYE ANGA We now have what, for the general public, would appear at least to be a rather ludicrous situation. ... MIKE DEWINE The condition and characteristic of an uninstructed person is this: he never expects from himself pr... EPICTETUS He wept because he was afraid now that he could not save Gabriel. He no longer cared about himself LOIS LOWRY 'Yes' is a far more potent word than 'no' in American politics. By adopting the positions which anim... DICK MORRIS I'm about to do something very clever and a tiny bit against the rules of the universe. It's importa... TOMMY DONBAVAND We deserve people who work in the White House who are committed to protecting classified information... LARRY JOHNSON In the community, in the African-American community, one person ought to say something, and that is ... CLEMENTA C. PINCKNEY He is bringing the most divisive American politician in American politics to Spokane. DWIGHT PELZ Women who have abortions are people you know. Because that is the truth! One in three American women... KATHA POLLITT Wake every morning with the same feeling. Live up high and fly on top of the ceiling. I just know th... ANA CLAUDIA ANTUNES Mother Superior jump the gun... -The Beatles, Happiness is a Warm Gun LAUREN MYRACLE My countrymen, I have given proofs that I am one most anxious for liberties for our country, and I a... JOSE RIZAL Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth. ABRAHAM LINCOLN Many an American Congressman comes to Washington from a district attorney's office: you may be sure ... HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN It is time that we, as voters, move beyond a system where the office is handed from one person to an... CAROLYN MCDANIEL If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever. FRANCINE RIVERS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha... FRANCINE RIVERS I'm in the middle of the road, it seems vague of unclear way, of where I'm going but no matter what ... HLONIM They stand uncertainly underneath immense skies, and everything about them is drowned. JACK KEROUAC I heard the Denver and Rio Grande locomotives howling off in to the mountains. I wanted to pursue my... JACK KEROUAC I read my copy of On the Road and dug the scenery whizzing past. On the Road is a semi-autobiographi... CORY DOCTOROW How do you know if something is real? That’s easy. Does it change you? Does it form you? Does it g... C. JOYBELL C. To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you r... MANDY HALE The Bush administration has been charged from the start with being cavalier about democracy. The ten... BARBARA KELLERMAN She was intimidating and all I could do was sit back on the couch as she paced back and forth, slowl... IN THE MAKING There's no question that the president's policies have failed miserably -- by firing his economic te... BOB MENENDEZ In 2000 we were given a mandate by the people to remove President Robert Mugabe. We are going back t... WELSHMAN NCUBE When you're talking with a person at this level of the government, at the very highest level, I ... LEE H. HAMILTON This film pays tribute to the everyday American men and women who have given their lives in Iraq. Re... COLIN CALLENDER There is probably a perverse pride in my administration... that we were going to do the right thing,... BARACK OBAMA I really feel very strongly that the person who runs for office is the courageous one, and the one w... BARBARA BUSH It is a truism of American politics that no man who can win an election deserves to. TREVANIAN 'Yes' is a far more potent word than 'no' in American politics. By adopting the posi... DICK MORRIS According to the people who dearly would love to throw him out of office, Barack Obama was elected t... CHARLIE PIERCE The thing about Shakespeare is, whatever his politics were, the one thing he wasn't was an anarchist... DAVID HARE To go from being a good administration employee to being arrested in a weekend is an overwhelmingly ... BARBARA GELDER To go from being a good administration employee to being arrested in a weekend is an overwhelmingly ... BARBARA VAN GELDER The one who, having killed the serpent, released the seven rivers; the one who drove out the cows by... RIG VEDA many crusaders of different nationalities, among them an American who was dragged on the streets of ... THE JERUSALEM This decision validates [the National Treasury Employees Union's] arguments that this administration... COLLEEN KELLEY Now the Defense Office will work to secure defense lawyers for him. He filed a declaration of means ... PETER ANDERSEN There are the tales of the socks and underwear he keeps in his office desk, of having to stop at his... DAVID MARGOLICK In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an A... THEODORE ROOSEVELT I'm hoping that the administration and other thought leaders will succeed eventually in bringing... EDMUND PHELPS These young ones. They do not understand. There are so few of us left who remember how destructive r... CONNILYN COSSETTE The power to become a great politician in life is by learning to serve for only one term,so that the... DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) I cannot conceive having a person running that office who has not been part of that system. REP. MICHAEL FESTA The best thing you can do for your kids is to show them God working in you on a daily basis. CRAIG GROESCHEL This president failed to tell the American people what he knew about the consequences of military vi... BOB GRAHAM Wake up to a brand new day and realize why you woke up to meet the day! Live to the end of another d... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Like all Americans, or like all Americans who are conscious of being American, Parker and Zema's fat... STEVE ERICKSON I was put into office by the people who believed in my idea that corruption is the root of poverty; ... BENIGNO AQUINO III The only politics in this country that's relevant to black people today is the politics of revol... H. RAP BROWN It stemmed from a lawsuit by one of the guys who complained he was hurt on the job, ... He was worki... JEFF HARDIN He has run an office with innovative programs that have been replicated by many district attorneys a... MORTY MATZ
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e... AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention. AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ... AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions. AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b... AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e... AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand... AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean , n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g... AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m... AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi... AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th... AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others. AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes... AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat. AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co... AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no... AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan... AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi... AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover... AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un... AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t... AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen... AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti... AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta... AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis... AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please... AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl... AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad... AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha... AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does. AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom... AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen. AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie... AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world. AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou... AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o... AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead. AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart. AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso... AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi... AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ... AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ... AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus... AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com... AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc... AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover. AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of... AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci... AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s... AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters. AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai... AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ... AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ... AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the... AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ... AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist , n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive , adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa... AMBROSE BIERCE The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge. AMBROSE BIERCE