Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.


Ambrose Bierce

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE GWINETT BIERCE
Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY
(All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes...
JEAN SASSON
No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT
Idleness, women, disorder, a foolish partiality for one's own native place, discontent and timidity ...
HITOPADESA
In a day and age where it seems like women want to be with unstable, psychotic, manipulative freaks;...
C. JOYBELL C.
May I never neither turn left nor turn right in my journey of life, but may I go straight to Christ ...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH
You don't know what you don't know
JEFF CARTER
And he shall lay his hand upon the head of the sin offering, and slay it for a sin offering in the p...
BIBLE
Idleness is a constant sin, and labor is a duty. Idleness is the devil's home for temptation and for...
ANNE BAXTER
Idleness is a constant sin, and labor is a duty. Idleness is the devil's home for temptation and f...
ANNE BAXTER
Idleness is a constant sin, and labor is a duty. Idleness is the devil's home for temptation and...
ANNE BAXTER
You can't build a foundation of sin now for a life of purity later.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
I don't define lust as anything evil or nasty. Lust as defined by me, is the feeling of desire: a de...
C. JOYBELL C.
From the Kindle Book Reflections in the Mirror of Life:
“In a slum somewhere in India
As...
THE PROPHET OF LIFE
The shame and the downfall of a modern materialistic society is her inability to treasure, care for,...
C. JOYBELL C.
Love is a growing, or full constant light,
And his first minute, after noon, is night.
JOHN DONNE
Today, young girls measure the quality of their beauty based upon its entertainment value. The more ...
C. JOYBELL C.
History is a wheel, for the nature of man is fundamentally unchanging. What has happened before will...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
I accept everything which is favorable for the people and the army; for myself, I wish to live in re...
TOUSSAINT LOUVERTURE
An unschooled man who knows how to meditate upon the Lord has learned far more than the man with the...
CHARLES STANLEY
I believe that when a woman is given the chance to come to the defense of another woman, that is an ...
C. JOYBELL C.
IF YOU WISH TO BRING PEACE UPON YOUR OWN, YOU MUST FIGHT THOSE WHO WISH FOR THE SAME PEACE.
ISAYAMA HAJIME
I am happiest when I am idle. I could live for months without performing any kind of labor, and at t...
ARTEMUS WARD
Nancy's got a guardian angel. Seven feet plus of muscle and mayhem that goes by the name of Marv.
FRANK MILLER
With everything there is what to do.
AULIQ ICE
There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women.
SHERYL SANDBERG
Even retirees who like retirement often want to keep active and involved. They want a blend of work ...
STEVE HOCKETT
A fool who thinks that he is a fool is for that very reason a wise man. The fool who thinks that he...
SOCIETY FOR THE PROMOTION OF BUDDHISM
Today the times are such people have a lot on their plates, but no place to put their plates.
APURVA GAGLANI
The fear of God is the only cure for the fear of people.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
Again, I am surprised why people seek to eliminate lust and cling to love; as they wish to ignore ha...
C. JOYBELL C.
Americans will listen, but they do not care to read. War and Peace must wait for the leisure of reti...
ANTHONY BURGESS
Most of us think we're too busy or too important to rest for a day.
CRAIG GROESCHEL
The artist is a member of the leisured classes who cannot pay for his leisure.
CYRIL CONNOLLY
I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib...
C. JOYBELL C.
On the other end of the spectrum, these women who do live long enough to collect Social Security fac...
GINNY BROWN-WAITE
Work with some men is as besetting a sin as idleness.
SAMUEL BUTLER
Don't settle for a normal life. Not when you can enjoy the wonderful weirdness of being who God crea...
CRAIG GROESCHEL
Right now, too many women who reach retirement age find themselves widowed or single, relying on the...
JUDY BIGGERT
You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part.
HENRY JAMES
The only true retirement is that of the heart; the only true leisure is the repose of the passions. ...
WILLIAM HAZLITT
Wisdom and penetration are the fruit of experience, not the lessons of retirement and leisure. Great...
ABIGAIL ADAMS
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make. �...
VICE PRESIDENT DAN QUAYLE
I was in a convent for a year.
BEATRICE WOOD
Idleness so called, which does not consist in doing nothing, but in doing a great deal not recognize...
ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
Give all your pearls, and the swine will make a pearl necklace, then run off. Don't show all your gl...
ANTHONY LICCIONE
For a life oriented to leisure is in the end a life oriented to death – the greatest leisure of al...
ANNE LAMOTT
Leisure for people of business, and business for people of leisure would cure many problems.
SOURCE UNKNOWN
It's definitely difficult being a woman and growing up a girl. When you're graceful, people say you ...
C. JOYBELL C.
The only contact we could have with the void was through this little the void had produced as quinte...
ITALO CALVINO
Nicolas Cage is the best for taking the role of character Joker. He is pretty damn good at jokes!
DEYTH BANGER
Guard your thoughts.
Your thoughts define the state of your wellness.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA
Anything large enough for a wish to light upon, is large enough to hang a prayer upon.
GEORGE MACDONALD
Toil is man's allotment; toil of brain, or toil of hands, or a grief that's more than either, the gr...
HERMAN MELVILLE
Toil is man's allotment; toil of brain, or toil of hands, or a grief that's more than either, the gr...
HERMAN MELVILLE
Sin’s masterpiece of shame and hate became God’s masterpiece of mercy and forgiveness. Through t...
BILLY GRAHAM
If we all took a minute to reflect upon the wrong we do we would be quite surprised or shocked.Inste...
GARY F EVANS...
Ants can carry twenty times their own body weight, which is useful information if you're moving out ...
RON DARIAN
The man I am today it's not the man of yesterday
CHRISTOPHER FUDGE
is a broken man an outlaw?"

"More or less." Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald ...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
The summer sun continued to rise in the sky and propel shocks of heat down on the city and the heavy...
HUBERT SELBY JR.
Work with some men is as besetting a sin as idleness with others.
SAMUEL BUTLER
She was infamous once upon a time. She's legendary now. The girl is a definite force to be reckoned ...
REBECCA HARRIS
There may come a time when you will wish you had never tasted the fruit from the tree of knowledge. ...
LOUISE HAWES
He knew now that it was his own will to happiness which must make the next move. But if he was to do...
ALBERT CAMUS
He heard the convent bell, Suddenly in the silence ringing For the service of noonday.
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
Meditate upon yourself and you'll find bliss.
ABHIJIT NASKAR
Social Security makes up a much larger share of total retirement income for unmarried women and mino...
DIANE WATSON
Some read to learn, some to laugh, and some to live.
JOYCE RACHELLE
Bierce radiates brilliancy, and perhaps no other man of letters ever had a more ready command of con...
EDWIN MARKHAM
When we meditate upon the fact of our existence we come to realise that each of us is a miracle livi...
TONY BRADY
She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going t...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
We Are All Infinite
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
You can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I saw other people there. Old men sitting alone. Young girls with blue eye shadow and awkward jaws. ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
That one moment when you know you are not a sad story. You are ALIVE.
STEPHAN CHBOSKY
Somos quienes somos por un montón de razones.Quizás nunca conozcamos la mayoría de ellas.Pero aun...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Ambos dijeron que tomara asiento y parecían hablar en serio, así que me senté.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all beco...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybewe'll never know most of them.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
There's nothing like the deep breathes after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore st...
STHEPHEN CHBOSKY
no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks, when the teacher rings the bell, drop...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
I don't know the significance of this, but I find it very interesting.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.
STEPHEN CHBOSKY
There are many who don't wish to sleep for fear of nightmares. Sadly, there are many who don't wish ...
RICHELLE E. GOODRICH
I don't know if I have a favorite color.
KATE MIDDLETON
It's very special having a new little girl.
KATE MIDDLETON
Suffering and taking sin upon himself might have been right for that preacher of small people. But I...
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
Those who meditate on the True Guru are satisfied and fulfilled. Those who meditate on the True Guru...
SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB
All women together ought to let flowers fall upon the tomb of Aphra Behn, for it was she who earned ...
VIRGINIA WOOLF
Beginners will first meditate upon equanimity. Once that is established, they will then meditate upo...
LONGCHEN RABJAM
Sofas 'twas half a sin to sit upon, So costly were they; carpets, every stitch Of workmanship ...
LORD BYRON (GEORGE GORDON NOEL BYRON)
I beg of you always to dwell upon the necessity of a thorough understanding of principles, in order ...
NICOLAS MALEBRANCHE
Discriminatory wage practices undermine women's ability to provide for their families and surviv...
KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND
The key to a vibrant middle class is an abundance of jobs that pay enough so that workers can provid...
MARCO RUBIO

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE
For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE
As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE
Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE
An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE
When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE
International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE
DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE
There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE
FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE
HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE
ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE
YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE
One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE
QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE
When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE
ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE
LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE
TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE
Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE
Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
AMBROSE BIERCE