Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!

The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.